The other day my ex called to tell me that my uncle was in the hospital (ex works at the hospital). Well I didn't tell my current bf (of 2 years) and the other day he brought up ex's in convo and asked if any had tried to contact me lately. I lied and said no. I know I shouldn't have, but I did. Now he has found out that my ex did in fact call me before we had that convo and he is deeply hurt. I don't want us to end and I want to be with him forever, but I don't know how to help us get past this.
2006-10-28 06:17:44 · 14 answers · asked by Kristen P 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thank you for all of your answers, but I have tried all of them already. I have apologized and told him the complete truth and everything and now he is coming to the "if their wasn't something to hide than you would have told me" and "the guy had no business calling you and he only did because he has an agenda" and I have told him that it doesn't matter if my ex has an agenda because whatever this guys wants will only happen if I let it or if I want it to and I dont! I told him that he is the one I am with, want to be with, and love with all of my heart. He says that he can't love someone he can't trust and I asked him to please try to love me again and he said I don't know.
2006-10-28 06:35:11 · update #1
Well its not like you cheated on your guy with your ex. He has no reason to be upset other than the whole trust thing but hey, explain to him why you didnt tell him. That you didnt want to upset him in the first place by having talked to your ex. If he understands thats that. If he doesnt theres worse reasons for him to be upset about. Telll him to grow up
2006-10-28 06:36:56 · answer #1 · answered by Diana 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, first you need to apologize to him and say you were sorry for lying, but then you need to make him understand that you lied because you care so deeply about him that you didn't want him angry with you for being on the phone with your ex. And you should also let him know that it's wrong of him to be "Deeply hurt" about him talking to you when it was only cuz your family is in the hospital. Of course, you probably don't wanna say this to him, but i think that is kind of selfish to be sad and hurt when your the one who has a family member in the hospital. And he must not have much trust if he is worried about what he thinks might have been the reason you were talking to your ex.
2006-10-28 13:24:44 · answer #2 · answered by bkettrick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should just tell him the truth you lied it was stupid and you wish you could take it back but you can't why you would lie about an ex calling you to let you know a family member was in the hospital I can not figure out but what ever whats done is done now it is time to make it right.
2006-10-28 13:22:10 · answer #3 · answered by rabidchipmunk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex didn't try to contact you - he called to let you know about your uncle being in the hospital... it's not like it was a social call. Tell him to lighten up and next time think twice before you answer someones question. It's just as easy to tell the whole truth and not have to cover something up later
2006-10-28 13:25:48 · answer #4 · answered by gummybear1772 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it seems like that even b4 he asked the question he already knew the answer but just wanted to see what you would say.(game playing). Just tell him that you were affraid to tell the truth because you didn't want to hurt him or make him think that something was going on between you and your ex. In the future just be honest. It pays off in the long run
2006-10-28 13:29:59 · answer #5 · answered by Thumper 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a touchy subject, the ex and all. I think you should have been honest. It's not like you trying to hook up with him, so why all the secrecy? Be upfront and tell your guy that you were not sure how he would have handled it and explain why you were in contact with you ex in the first place. Lying by omission is still lying.
2006-10-28 13:24:14 · answer #6 · answered by á?|?? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him why u did not tell him.. exactly why..
in the sense, u probably did not want to go thro an unpleasant questioning when u r so happy with this person.. u were feeling lazy, u dint feel the honesty was worth the discomfort.. whatever it was tell him.. n if he does not agree, reach a consensus on what you guys believe in regarding ur ideals..
tell the person that.. whatever u truly felt.. be honest..
2006-10-28 13:22:30 · answer #7 · answered by anamika 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that when he asked you honestly didn't even think about it because your ex didnt call you to 'get back in contact' but just to tell you about your uncle. You didn't even think about it when he asked you.
2006-10-28 13:20:41 · answer #8 · answered by attila 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You screwed up??? Umm.. he sounds way controling and like he does not trust you.. It was a PHONE CALL.. I don't know why anyone would get upset over that it's not like you were screwing your ex.. Anyway.. I'm sure he will get over it..
2006-10-28 13:22:29 · answer #9 · answered by Hot Mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it happened to me b4.. jus tel ur ex dat u are really sry for lying n it wont ever happen again! tell him dat the onli reason u lied is cuz u dint wanna lose him.. ( suck up to him ) it worked for me.. . good luck
2006-10-28 13:21:13 · answer #10 · answered by cuteangel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋