hello eveyone, excuse me for my worng english - i am newcomer who came from france to the usa. i have tow children - 2 years old Jacques and 3 yeas old Charles. often, Jacques make problems, broken things and cheeks. you think i should punish him by spanking him? usually, when he or Charles curses or cheeks I washing there mouth with soap, but its didnt help. do should I spank them? my husband says we have to spank them on there bare bottom, but I dont know if it is will help.
2006-10-28 05:53:05 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
note: Jacques is 4.5 years old, not 2
2006-10-28 05:54:42 · update #1
You bet... I am a firm believer in spanking on the bottom. My kids turned out pretty good and they got spankings when they needed them. I have one seven year old left at home and if he needs one he gets one but most of the time I do not have to spank because he knows i will if he deserves it so he is good most of the time. Good luck to you.
2006-10-28 05:58:31 · answer #1 · answered by Alisha S 3 · 7⤊ 2⤋
Spare the rod, spoil the child. No spanking above the buttock. Slap the wrist but no slapping the arms, body or head. A spanking should be delivered with considerable thought though. It should not be an automatic reaction as this is often more of a reaction to vent your own anger rather than to act as a detrrent to the child.
You cannot reason with a 3 year old. It is a pointless exercise and you can only reward good behaviour when it occurs.
People will do more to avoid pain then they will to gain pleasure.
Buy a wooden spoon and make sure everyone knows that you will use it. The mere presence of the spoon will do more to control poor behaviour then actually using it.
BTW - you should not gain any pleasure from spanking your child. If you do, then you have a problem and you should seek help.
2006-10-30 00:00:16 · answer #2 · answered by CPT Kremin 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I was raised in a home where I knew that if I refused to listen or did things that I knew I shouldn't do there was a chance that I would receive a spanking. I have the upmost respect for my parents. I know I listened the first time because they commanded respect and I was a child and knew that I needed to respect them. I spank my children now, but not until it is the last resort or if they have broken the rules repeatedly. They do not think that I am going to spank them every time they get in trouble and they respect me. I wish more parents would do it. I am not saying that you should spank them so hard you leave marks, but a good swat on the butt does nothing but get the child's attention and show them that you are in charge and you mean business. As with any other discipline, remember to show them affection and talk the problem over with them. Spanking should never be done without warnings and without reiterating to your children how much you love them.
2006-10-28 13:16:35 · answer #3 · answered by janeannpat 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I was a very rebellious/belligerent child. Everyone spanked me... my grandfather said that he spanked me more than all his children and grandchildren put together. I believe if they had not spanked me, I would have ended up in prison or worse. As it is, I have had zero infractions of the law in my life (not even a speeding ticket). But, they also gave me lots and lots of positive reinforcement (that is just as important). I love them with all my heart and I'm so glad they wailed on my bottom... I really needed it.
Those people who give those rubbishy arguments against spanking don't have a clue. I have a super high self-esteem and spanking didn't teach me to hit... I got spanked for hitting people. Look at how the children are ending up these days. Just how many school shootings, violence, rebellion, etc. have we had from children who were not spanked? As people quit spanking more and more, these things will continually go up more and more. Just look at the statistics from back in the days when people spanked. Spare the rod...
2006-10-28 15:30:55 · answer #4 · answered by Questioner 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Not on their bare bottom, but on their bottom and not too hard, just enough to get their attention. Some kids benefit from time outs, but sometimes, a quick swat on the butt is enough to make them think twice before doing something that could hurt them. However, I don't believe they should get spanked every time they misbehave, if it is a simple matter like cursing, you need to be sure they really know that they are saying something bad. Sometimes kids don't understand what they are really saying.
2006-10-28 16:58:26 · answer #5 · answered by hargonagain 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, it really won't help much.If you spank a kid it hurts for a few minutes then they forget all about it and do the same thing again, but if you put them in timeout and make them sit,not talk, and then after they've set however long you choose then make them tell you why they got time out.That last a lot longer than a spanking that will only hurt for a few minutes.And you better be careful about washing your kids mouth out with soap and the other ways you discipline them, you could get them taken away for child neglect and abuse.
2006-10-28 16:17:26 · answer #6 · answered by wvcountrygirl_93 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I believe that spanking is quite wrong. I give the following reasons:
1. It teaches children that it is acceptable to use physical violence against others when they do something that displeases them. Though they usually know better eventually, such behavior does not help.
2. From personal experience, I know how horrible spanking can make a child feel. There are few ways that a child can be made to feel more powerless, angry, and unloved than spanking.
3. It is illegal to strike anyone besides your own children just because they do something you don't like. Children are people, too. YOUR CHILDREN ARE NOT YOUR PROPERTY. I cannot stress that enough.
2006-10-28 14:53:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
No. Spanking will not really help. Give the child a time out in a corner or in their room, alone. Tell them what it is that they did wrong, and why you are angry about it. All children break things, it is to be expected, but not allowed to be done on purpose. If he is breaking his brothers toys, have him give one of his toys to his brother to replace the one he broke. Let him know that he has to pay for what he does wrong. Soap will not work for cheek either. Correct him immeadiately by telling him" that is not allowed" and put him in corner. At almost 5 years, put him in for only about 5 minutes. then take him out and talk to him. Let him know why it is wrong. Just being angry and yelling and hitting him only lets him know that if you are bigger than the other person, you can hurt them if you want to. The same rules apply to Charles.
2006-10-28 13:06:40 · answer #8 · answered by mamaskydragaon1 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Children need spankings. (not beatings -- spankings)
Spank their butts and keep your spanking implement (paddle) in plain sight to remind them that they will get a whack on the butt if they don't follow the rules.
It's OK for kids to have a little fear of consequences. They don't sweat being put in time out - that might work for minor problems but if its something that is reoccurring then you have to take more drastic measures.
2006-10-28 14:09:31 · answer #9 · answered by gummybear1772 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I spank my child, but never on the bare bottom and not more than 2 swats to the bum and only when it is something really bad. I also use time outs facing a corner.
Try positive reinforcement. reward them for any good behavior instead of only paying attention the bad behavior. They will soon realize that they would rather be rewarded for being good then punished for being bad.
http://www.psychology.uiowa.edu/Faculty/wasserman/Glossary/reinforcement.html
http://life.familyeducation.com/communication/behavior-modification/29734.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinforcement
2006-10-28 13:07:25 · answer #10 · answered by mommy_2_katelynn 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋