My daughter's dad is a real loser. He has been in and out of jail for the past year or so. He is now back in jail and is facing 5 years for a drug charge. I don't know how to explain it to her. Any ideas???
2006-10-28 05:50:26 · 25 answers · asked by mandymay 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Please be honest with her. She will always appreciate that when she grows up- that even when things were difficult you told her the truth. You can say that he made a mistake and now has a punishment. When people make this mistake the punishment isn't a time out (or whatever she is familiar with,) but instead, they have to go away, be away from the people they love, as a punishment.
If you have the time and energy, you can create a little book for her about her Dad. Please remember to put the good things in it too- that her Dad loves her and will miss her, etc. Leave your own feelings out of it, if possible.
You sound like a terrific Mom!
Best wishes from a grandma-aged person
2006-10-28 06:42:13 · answer #1 · answered by PeggyS 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
How are you going to explain to your daughter about her father going into a correctional Institute for drug charges? If her father loves his daughter and had spend time with her, my suggestion would be to,tell her that her Dad did something bad and he is going to jail for doing bad things. But, when he gets out he will come back to be with her, and in the meantime you can take her to see him so, she at least will get some closure with her Dad, if it's permissible on your part. On the other hand if he did not care about her, just tell her he did something bad and when he gets out he will be seeing her again. On your part you do not mentioned if both of you were together or are separated,if you were together I know how difficult it's going to be not having him around, but there is some solace in realizing that maybe just maybe he will come out of there reformed and won't be doing anything wrong again,I will have you both in my prayers and I hope he will get a lighter sentence then that, for your daughter's sake.
2006-10-28 06:11:17 · answer #2 · answered by a.vasquez7413@sbcglobal.net 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
At 5 years old there is not enough comprehention for difficult subjects. I'd keep it simple, maybe say 'there are times when good people do bad things and then they have to pay for the bad things'. The child does not know a looser from a winner, mommy and daddy are their whole world. Most 5 year olds do know the difference between 'good' and 'bad' although not on the scale of 'major bad' nor do they uinderstand crime. Be straighforward and tell the child that daddy's been real bad and will be gone for awhile. I wish you success.
2006-10-28 06:02:24 · answer #3 · answered by William V 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is still her Dad bad or good, I think I would just say" Your Dad is going away for awhile, he did a bad thing and he has to be helped
so he will be gone. I don't think I would tell her 5 years, kids these days are invoved with so much at school-that time isn't important.
If she asked how long, I would say till he gets better.
Just keep her mind occupied and not bring the subject up.
I hope your life gets better.
2006-10-28 05:56:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just give it to her straight.. she is old enough to know the truth and why.. no need to cover anything up.. just say your dad got into some trouble with drugs..and there are consequnces that people must pay when they do these things..and since your father was involved with this he has to serve time in prison.. he could be gone for a while.. not sure if she is close to him or not.. but if she is let her know that she will still get to see him just not as often (not sure how often she sees him now).. but anyway, thats what I would do.
2006-10-28 06:08:39 · answer #5 · answered by queencrystle 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I know this is tuff but here`s what my sister in law did. She took her son to the jail during visiting hours and let her husband explain it to him. This is so he can also see what he is doing to his family and his child. Maybe that will make him aware that he is not the only 1 paying for the crap he does it also affects his kids and you. When my sister in law did this my brother could never forgive himself for what he did and has been making it up every since then. Tuff way to go but sometimes the person causing the problems needs a wake up call. My brother is on the straight and narrow now and has got his family back and works every day too keep it that way. Woke him up real quick!!
2006-10-28 06:05:26 · answer #6 · answered by bren_jim 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Gently... it doesn't hurt for her to know that when people make real bad miistakes that there is a system in society that punishes them... just like being in "time out"... tell her that the time out that daddy has to do i prison is suppose to make him a better man... when he gets out and she's older... she will then take his actions for what they are worth... if he still is a "loser" she'll be older by then and maybe she understand that some people don't change and hopefully she has other male figures in her life... past and present... that have helped her learn to have a healthy bond with a man... hope this helps
2006-10-28 06:34:39 · answer #7 · answered by Sandy 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
first off just tell her the truth. But try to sugar coat it but still cut to the chase. Because if u dont tell her now when and before it happens when she gets older shes not going to want to believe u and loose trust in u because u couldnt come clean with her. Also try to tell her because she needs her father and growing up without one is rough so just tell her the story and tell her that she can write him and visit him.Because one day she could wake up and want her daddy and hes not their and it could catch u off gaurd. Also think about because kids are smart and most of the time dont forget about major points in their life. One day whenever her father gets out she might come to him and ask him were was he for certain amount off years if he told the truth and u lied shes gonna once again loose trust in u. So GOOD LUCK
2006-10-28 06:27:18 · answer #8 · answered by sexy_luv_tika 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
ok let me start off by saying that my dad was in the pen when i was younger. firstly you should let your daughter know the truth no matter how harsh. just sit her down and say sweet heart you know that me and daddy love you very much but hes not gonna be around for a while.......elaborate...but nomatter how you feel about her dad dont demean him infront of her that can really screw her up. maybe if possible she can visist him once in a while but dont take her on the regular she shldent be subjected to prison so young on a reg basis. hope i helped good luck
2006-10-28 05:55:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Put it in terms she can relate to. Find out what kind of discipline system her classroom teacher uses, and explain it that way. For example, if the teacher uses time out, then explain that her father is having a 5-year time out.
2006-10-28 06:18:17 · answer #10 · answered by bibliophile31 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋