How important is extended family?

Question

I just read a question about it takes a village to raise a child. How important is extended family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins...etc) when it comes to raising a child? How much do you rely on them?

Penni--You are so rude. I can't believe you would make an assumption over a question that has nothing to do with the person asking it! Actually my parents live thousands of miles away. I'm a little sensitive about it right now because my HUSBAND is going to have to be sent to Iraq on his second deployment. Which means again I'll be raising both our children--ALONE. Why? So he can protect the rights for some lame people who abuse their freedom and ASSUME AND JUDGE.

Don't you dare for one second think you know me. That is so offensive!

Answer 1

Extended family doesn't only mean "blood" relatives, it also means your friends / his friends / school teachers / religious leaders if you're religious... etc..

The saying it takes a village to raise a child, means that everyone that comes in regular contact with a child influences him/her in one way or the other. They have an impact on his/her life.

It's very important to a child to have others involved in his/her life besides parents. If you don't have for exemple your parents nearby or they are dead, you could see if in your neighborhood there are elderly people which you and your child could visit or help out. It teaches your child to respect and appreciate the elderly.

I serve as part of extended family for my friends, for exemple if they want a night off or a weekend getaway, they know they can count on me to house and kid sit :).

It's just as important to the child, as it is to you to have others around you can rely on, especially when you're kids are young.

But of course one can raise children alone and have them turn out just fine, quality afterall being more essential then quantity.

Best of luck to you

Answer 2

My dad was in retail management and got transferred a lot while I was growing up, so we always lived long distance from most of our other family members. I saw my aunt and uncle once a year, my grandmother a few times a year, etc...but I never felt shortchanged. If anything I think I appreciated them all more because I didn't see them as often. My parents now live in Arizona, and my husband and I live in Indiana. It bothers me a little that my daughter can't see them regularly, but I'm not worried about it being detrimental. My husband is a lot bigger on extended family because his entire family has always lived in the same town. I guess it just depends on your own personal experience. I think if the parents are loving, supportive, responsible people, then they will do just fine raising a child without additional help.

Answer 3

Where I come from there is no such thing as "extended family" there is only family. It doesn't matter if you are thousands of miles away or live across the street from your relatives, a child must be taught to take care of his family because, quite frankly, a family is the only group of people that really care about you.

I have many aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. that are complete strangers, however we all share the same feeling that we are family, and when we get together is like we have known each other for years. I was fortunate to live in the house besides my paternal grandparents, so growing up I was really close to them because I saw and talk to them everyday. They were instrumental in shaping many of my views, as well as sharing with me their wisdom of years past and the struggles they had during their lives.

You don't necessarily want to rely on your relatives to raise your child, that is your responsibility. If you have done your job correctly your child will learn to pick up the good traits from other relatives, as well as distinguish questionable behavior without being disrespectful. Furthermore, having the sense that you have a family outside your household is one of the joys of life as a child.

Answer 4

Maybe "rely" isn't the best choice in words, BUT I do see what you are trying to say....I think it is important for a child to have a strong relationship with their extended family. There is so much for a child to learn from the people around them, other than just you. We can only teach a child so much, and they can further the learning. And even for a parent, they can offer us more knowledge on how to raise & care for our kids. You know, like certain methods they have used, or certain remedies passed down. ( My mother and grandmother ALWAYS have little pointers and advice to offer...even though it can be annoying!!)
Also, some families are so close...Always doing stuff together, spending holidays, and family gatherings. They have such a strong bond. And this is beneficial for our children's social development. Not to mention strong morals and "family" values.
I think it is good to have a good relationship with family...Because your family will always be there!!

Answer 5

You certainly don't want them to RAISE your child. That is YOUR place. But the influence and example and presence of them in your life and your childs life is vital.

Extended families only the past 100 yrs have not lived close by like they used to for many thousands of years. Extended family helps you know where you came from, set a huge example to you, keeps you knowing who you are and the security and love you get is highly influencial as an adult. Families are forever- know them and love them and raise your own kid.

Let me guess.. you are not married and have a child.

Answer 6

if u have a strong and loving family and so does ur other half, a child can't get enough love and teaching. each person in ur family has something different to teach a child and usually it is something the child will use in life. many people don't have extended families and their children r fine because they have strong moral s and know the difference between right and wrong and know how to apply it in their daily life.

Answer 7

I think having extended family is nice (if your able to have a relationship with them) for a child. It's is nice to be able to have your child visit them and later they will hopefully have good memories of these people. I am not able to rely on my extended family to take care of my daughter, but she gets to visit with them on occassion and she has alot of fun.

Answer 8

I even have via the years had to go through family members who pass no longer something yet snide comments each time we met, the two approximately their assumed superiority or such.I by no potential had this from any buddy I ever had, you won't be able to decide on your kinfolk yet you are able to decide on your acquaintances fortuitously, I now no longer could desire to go through the worst of them now, I stated to a minimum of certainly one of them that certainly one of their famous in rules did an exceptionally grimy trick on certainly one of my youngsters, and that they now no longer touch me, in basic terms people who've a recommendations of their own do, and understand the others for what they're.

Answer 9

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Answer 10

I don't rely on anyone other than me and my husband... I have two grown children that turned out good and I used the same measure with them. Trust your gut instinct and when it comes to punishment and it is all good.