WHY is it that women always want to change a man after one or two years into a relationship? does this mean that she wish you were someone else? or does it mean that the person she fell in love with is no longer desirable to her?
2006-10-28 05:12:10 · 24 answers · asked by blackd010 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It means she is making the stupid mistake a lot of women make in thinking they can change a man or anyone for that matter. Its just in the beginning of the relationship they see things they dont like and tell themselves thats ok i'll change it later and they feel more comfortable to do so after there sure you or atleast think you love them enough to change. I would just say hay you knew I was like this since the beginning and you either accept it or you dont but trying to change me is not going to work and if i'm not being myself I wont be happy and thats not right or fair, just say it bring it to her attention and let her know it wont work I mean as long as its not something you need to change there are some things when your planning to marry someone that you should get more serious about if you really care about the relationship and want to keep it, so give it some thought, oh and pick your battles GOOD LUCK!
2006-10-28 05:21:58 · answer #1 · answered by Kimbur 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That's a really complicated and almost "loaded" question! Whew!
Okay, there are women who do what you just described, & there are the women who "don't." I look at it this way. If after two years, a woman seems to want a man to change, she's either not happy with herself, or she was hoping to change him in the first place. I am a woman, but even as a teenager, I wasn't this way. However, I have met women who are that way, and it just seems like it would be easier to simply find a guy who acts like a human Yo Yo, than to waste all that energy on a guy she's "hoping" to change! But then, that's just "me." And I'm pretty sure my statement here will tick a few women off, but then, this is probably the reason why most of my true friends "are" men....
2006-10-28 12:21:17 · answer #2 · answered by Republican!!! 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
From my perspective I would only want to change a man to benefit them in the long run.. (i.e. money problems, habits) stuff like that.. Sometimes people get into a rut about there looks and stop caring what they look like.. (esp in long term relationships) because they fill they don't have to impress any women ... since they are already committed to someone.. I also think when people don't give themselves time to heal from a past relationship they want the good qualities there "ex" had .. so they try and change them gradually with the next person they are with ...
2006-10-28 12:58:49 · answer #3 · answered by xcura 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me, I think it's rude of any man or woman to try and change someone. Their is a difference between trying to change someone, and a couple molding into one.Molding into one is really to see if this is the right partner for me. For instance, if a female buys a shirt for her man, it's her way to make her man perfect, this is OK.When a woman buy a whole wardrobe for a man this is changing him into something he wasn't before.This is wrong, and I would be wondering why she is doing it. When a person try to change another, it's just plain wrong and an important talk between the two need to be had and soon. to Never go through any type of change like this without talking together about it, that's when communication happens. Good luck and hope this helps!! ** Women are from Venus and men are from Mars is a very true book and you may want to check it out of the library someday soon, or just buy it.,
2006-10-28 12:31:32 · answer #4 · answered by mdzevolveddammit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It think it's because she wants the guy who fell in love with her when you first met her. You're still that guy but maybe you're not as romantic as you used to be and maybe she likes being pursued and wooed. So keep your chin up and start putting some more "fire" back into the relationship. I dont' think she's trying to change who you are as a person just how you treat her and love her some times. It's all good my brother. Maybe us guys could learn a thing or two as for what really keeps a woman in love with and faithful to her man. Any ladies care to explain?
2006-10-28 12:21:41 · answer #5 · answered by dave_83501 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honestly, most women over look things that they do not like about a man for the first year or so, untill the edge of the relationship wears off and she realizes all those things about you that annoy her or that she just always wished were different, even if she didnt realize it before. It's a good sign tho that she is trying to change you, it means she cares and wants it to work.
2006-10-28 12:17:56 · answer #6 · answered by C J 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK I don't believe in changing a person.........as far as the music they like or if he likes to watch sports all the time or goes out to the bar with buddies a couple times of week.....s h i t like that. However, I do believe in trying to help a person improve themselves: morally, physically, mentally. I don't speak for all just myself and from experience. The more you try to change a person the worse things will become! Women dream of their perfect soul mate, we dream of the perfect wedding. That's what we do. So when we meet someone and we fall in love that's good but we're always thinking about that perfect person and wedding in the back of our minds and maybe if we try to change little things bigger things may fall into place. Do you understand?
2006-10-28 12:22:32 · answer #7 · answered by VEGAS 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People change as time goes on. However is she wanting you to make changes that will enhance the quality of your life or is she just criticizing a lot and nagging? If it is the latter it could signify underlying problems in the relationship. When people are unhappy about something they often complain. Perhaps you should ask her if there are issues that she hasn't talked to you about. Communication is good medicine. Good luck.
2006-10-28 12:19:25 · answer #8 · answered by 6-Pack? 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a very interesting question babe. I never experienced this, I am only for long term relationships. You just have to meet the right person and know who to go for. Maybe they just don't want to be n the relationship anymore and want freedom...you should ask them, and I dont think she wishes u were someone else. Maybe she has a problem...I really couldnot answer for them, but just know its not you, its them, and just go out there and be patient, God will send you that special one who wants to spend the rest of their lives with you. God bless and I HOPE THIS HELPED YOU OUT.
2006-10-28 12:19:30 · answer #9 · answered by old 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is just in our nature to want to fix what we think is broke. It's called mothering. Even though we are your wives and girlfriend we sometimes forget we cannot change everything. It is just our maternal instinct to want to improve you. It is sometimes not even an issue of wether we "like" you or "not", it sometimes has to do with how others react to you when your being yourself. I feel the reason why we target you (our husbands n boyfriends) is that we spend the most time with you, and think that we know you better than yourselves. I'm sure we drive you men crazy when we do this, but we only mean well. If your wife or girlfriend see what I have written differently, than maybe it's time to part ways. The way my hubby deals with this when I do it is>> he let's me THINK i'm making changes, then continues being himself! Atleast that is what I always hear him tell me and his buddys;)
2006-10-28 12:24:48 · answer #10 · answered by wherenai 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋