My girlfriend only tells me that she loves me when I say it to her. I have told her not to say it if it can only be a mechanical response. She claims that she does love me. But I could go weeks and never hear it from her unless i say it first. Isn't that typically a guy thing, not to respond unless told? Does she expect me to just take it for granted that she does? I'm not so insecure that I need to hear it every second....but once in awhile it is nice to hear.
2006-10-28 05:11:40 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thanx so far peeps your answers are all great. She treats me like a king from time to time. Yes her father is a typical hardcore male. Men aren't sensitive yada,yada,yada. Plus she's full time Military. I don't know though you'd think if your parents didn't show you or express love that you'd be different in the way that you have lost out and would want to receive as well as give in return.
2006-10-28 05:31:04 · update #1
The frequency of her admission of love may have something to do with how she was raised. Does she come from a demonstrative family or are they emotionally unavailable. She may just be exhibiting what she learned.
My family is demonstrative, my husband's family is less so. I can count on one hand how many times I have heard my husband and his family say I love you to each other in the fourteen years I have known them.
If you doubt her love because she is verbally unexpressive, maybe you should consider her actions. Does she do things to show her love?
There is a book by Gary Chapman called "The Five Love Languages" (or something like that). Might explain what her preferred way of love expression is. Might also explain why you need to hear the words.
Good luck.
2006-10-28 05:18:16 · answer #1 · answered by Beth B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is weird, I have friends who are like that but they happened to be guys. I think it's just a kind of get used to, some people aren't that prone to saying I love you every now or then, some even never say it out, unless they are required to. your galfriend might be one of those, either they are shy sort, not so sensitive kind etc. But yes, love is a two way thing, and I don't think if you want to hear it once in a while is a bad thing after all, she might need to be more sensitive in this. I am thinking you might love her more than she love you (not saying she don't love you), so this situation appears, and you aren't happy coz it's not a both side thing. I think you and her seriously need to have a good talk, but don't push her too much, coz when being push, you can't get a good conversation out of it.
2006-10-28 12:17:35 · answer #2 · answered by meow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completly understand what you mean. Are you sure that she is ready for that step.. She might tell you yeah and not really be. Or she just might be on of those people that just dont say it that often. It could also depend on her background, If she didnt really see that word eing expressed in her life then she might not be able to express it freely, I dont think you should force a big deal out of it tho, it mght place pressure on her.. just hold on and see
2006-10-28 12:17:16 · answer #3 · answered by mizz_toree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people have a hard time saying it....i'm the complete opposite, I say it to my bf ALL the time. lol Just talk to her, and tell her that though you are well aware that she loves you, you'd like to hear it every once in awhile, without her having to be prompted to do so.
2006-10-28 12:14:16 · answer #4 · answered by LibraT 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound right to me Patrick.
Sounds like my ex-husband.
Only time I ever heard - I Love You
from him was when we were in bed.
I know when I feel love for someone I want
to express it with words, touches,hugs etc.
With out the words and actions ,
To me it's not love.
Seems if she really loves you
she would want to tell and show you.
But people express love in different ways I guess,
just not my way.
Hope things work out the way you need them to.
2006-10-28 12:32:45 · answer #5 · answered by eviechatter 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is either mechanical, like you said, and she doesn't love you. Or, maybe she does love you, and just isn't the type of person that says it all the time. Try not to think about it so much, just enjoy being with her.
2006-10-28 12:18:25 · answer #6 · answered by Steve E 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
how is the rest of your relationship? does she "show you" that she loves you, by her behavior, how she treats you? what's her family background~are they warm and loving as you appear to appear to be, or a little more reserved as she appears to be? does she say "i love you" to other people in her life? you need to take other things into acct b4 you make decisions if the realtionship is good except for this one thing. JMO.
2006-10-28 12:17:01 · answer #7 · answered by barefootdaze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow - a sensitve guy: you actually care about your girls responses
maybe cause when many guys say it, they dont mean it and the girl doesnt want to looks stupid.
if a guy told me he loved me - i would say "thanks - ive gotta go", even if he was a guy i really liked.
i only do that cause of that song by LL Cool J "i need love" cause he talks about holding in his laugh when he tells his girl he loves her.
maybe your girl is just afraid of commitment? we need more details about your relationship.
2006-10-28 12:18:09 · answer #8 · answered by Cynthia S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try not saying it to her for a while and see if she will really just not say it...Wait until she can say it on her own...
2006-10-28 12:14:01 · answer #9 · answered by GirlInMassachusettTOWN 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
cant say im to dumb usless and pornoish to guys
2006-10-28 12:13:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋