I have decided to take off work early so that i can take my daughter trick or treating which will be out first. In the past we have not been able to go bc I have always had to work evenings and/or nights and she was always at her grandparents house, whom never took her or the other grandchildren. Well for the first time in 5 yrs I now have the opportunity and I want to take her. Problem is my fiance does not want her to go bc of something that happened when he was kid, that happened to somebody else. He suggests that I take her trick or treating but then throw away all her candy and buy her some more, bc he doesnt trust people. I understand but I dont understand. He's even gone as far as to say that people could contaminate the candy in the factories their made, so my question to him, was why even throw away the candy to buy even more contaminated candy??? Of course no reply, just that he doesnt want anything bad to happen to her but neither do I. what compromise can we come to?
2006-10-28 05:09:10 · 28 answers · asked by Free_Spirit 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
1) it's not his kid,
2) you aren't married,
3) tell him to STFU
2006-10-28 05:11:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
You shouldnt be too hard on him, he's obviously concerned and acting on personal experience, he's looking out for her best interest. But then again, Im sure that you dont want to miss taking her out trick or treating. I think you should go ahead and take her but let your little girl know that she may not be able to eat or keep all her candy. Its smart to go through the candy afterwards, because you can never be too careful with your kids, and we all know that there are some sick people out there. Most likely the candy will not be contaminated but its good as a parent to be aware that these things do happen and you dont want it to be your child, just because of carelessness. So take her, let her have fun, but just be careful and you will all have a good time. Its ok to be a little paranoid sometimes, your a parent :) you love your child right? Well then its right for you to take care of her! :)
PS Keep in mind that people that live in 'good' areas are capable of doing sick things too. Things arent always what they seem
2006-10-28 05:28:59 · answer #2 · answered by Esme 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go trick or treating. That's a battle won. Then together decide what to do with each piece of candy. Involve the kid, if possible. The story of a razor blade in the candy, by the way, is a wives tale, or urban legend -- not true. I'd say he's being irrational and over protective, but you already know that. It will probably get worse. At least he errs on the side of caution, and isn't abusive. If he's still around when she gets older and starts dating, I pity the poor boy friend.
2006-10-28 05:24:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well he has a good point. But what my mom used to do with us is before we ate any candy she would check over all of it and if any pieces were opened or even looked like they had been opened she would throw it away. It wouldn't be fair to her to not be able to go just because he doesn't trust people. If that were the case she won't be able to do anything because people are crazy anyway not just when it comes to trick or treating. What about when the have parties at school for the little ones? Is he gonna let her mis out on that too? So I think ya'll should just check over the candy and let her be happy. Or just go to the houses of people you know. It can easily be worked out. He is just being over protective and don't want her to go period.
GOOD LUCK!!!! and have fun (hopefully)
2006-10-28 05:23:13 · answer #4 · answered by baby gurl 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to say "sometimes you just have to trust things and people". Not all people are bad. If he is so worried then go to only neighbors and family/friend's houses you know would not taint the candy.
I nor any of my friends ever had a problem when we went trick or treating. Heck even one time we asked a stranger for pizza they were having instead of getting candy and sat on their lawn eating a box of pizza! And it wasnt tainted and it was fun.
I went trick or treating probably from ages 2 to 17 and not once did i or my friends ever reporting having tainted candy. Go in neighborhoods you know. Go to a neighborhood that is packed with kids because then it is probably a safe neighborhood.
2006-10-28 14:15:09 · answer #5 · answered by Educated 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apparently you are an unwed mother who had this kid with another man. Therefore, Mr. Fiance gets no say. Do what you want to do and do what you think is best. The probability of there being poison or razors or whatever in the candy is very low. Take the kid to a decent area to trick-or-treat and it will be fine.
2006-10-28 05:17:54 · answer #6 · answered by nido_tr3s 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We can't live our lives based on what happened to us in the past. Otherwise, all our kids would be locked in basements :) It's been quite a while since there has been a contaminated candy incident. If you trust the neighborhood you live in, don't worry about it. If you live in the "bad" part of town take your child to the "good" part of town to trick-or-treat. No one says you have to stay in your neighborhood. Let you child have fun, this is HALLOWEEN. I would never take Halloween away from my child. He loves all the costumes and seeing the "scary pumpkins" and all the decorations. Halloween just isn't about candy. It's the whole atmosphere :)
2006-10-28 05:22:15 · answer #7 · answered by mustangsally76 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I was about 7, my brother/sister's bi logical father beg my mom to take us all three trick or treating. My mom never allowed us to celebrate it as going door to door (we go to church events, but we didn't celebrat it like everyone else does type thing like dress up etc).
She said ONLY go to a few houses we know (family, friends). Which was enough to get a good half pillow size full. each.
He took us on a few other streets he wasn't suppose to. When we got home, our candy had to be thrown away as mothballs, unwrapped candy and odd tasting candy was present.
My mom was so angry at him and we were so upset that our candy was thrown away. She had to go out and buy some from the store. She never allowed us to go back out.
4 years later, she married my step dad who allowed his children to go out.
We went around our neighborhood, who we all knew very well and trusted enough. Other than that, I bought my own candy if I wanted more and I didn't feel "left out".
In a way, take your fiance's experience to heart and understand where he is coming from. He wants to protect her and allowing his feelings might come across too overprotective to the point of paranoia.
What you two should do is go together to houses you both agree with. (Friends, family, parents that you know of your child's playmates), school functions and churches also have treat or treating days too. Same with other community events like law enforcement and different clubs might thrown on a big trick or treating celebration.
Therefore, you both can examin the candy going in the bag and who the person who gave it. Before each house, get an idea of what the candy looks like (if opened or looks like it was re-wrap as some candy you can tell). I don't think judging is right, but sometimes, judging a person needs to be done when it comes to safety of your child. If you go to a house of a "friend" and you feel their behavior is odd or they are known to be mean to kids or drugs, I would recommend to skip that house.
In the end you can add a little more candy in that you bought from the store or special made at home to give to your daughter as a trick or treat from her very own home.
2006-10-28 16:13:22 · answer #8 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its good that he is concerned about her it shows he cares what happens to her it doesn't make him a bad guy hes looking out for her but on the other hand explain to him shes a child and she needs to have a childhood its not fair for her to miss out when she didn't do anything wrong but there are a few things you could do to come to an agreement so everyone is happy you could have a Halloween party so shes inside and you bought and checked the candy and her friends could come that way she gets to dress up and still have fun and get candy or you could agree to take her trick or treating but you could take her to peoples houses that you know like friends and family that you can all trust so your fiance is at ease that your daughter doesn't get any bad candy ~this is a cruel world now a days so its good that hes cautious hes just trying to look out for her and be a good parent weather its his child or not doesn't matter he cares for her to worry about her he should get some points for that !!! good luck
2006-10-28 05:25:20 · answer #9 · answered by bellababi44 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Granted he has a reason to worry, but if you go trick or treating in your neighborhood-u most likely know the ppl. So you should know that your neighbors won't posion the candy. You can inspect the candy to make sure it's not contaminated but other than that enjoy ur first halloween w/ YOUR child.
2006-10-28 05:20:59 · answer #10 · answered by Annie 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure about where you live but where I am from a lot of businesses and organizations do trick or treating type events for parents who worry about things like this. In fact I think our mall is even doing something this year.
The benefit of these events is that the kids get the fun of trick or treating and the parents get the joy of not worrying about tainted candy. Worse case scenario, you can have your candy x rayed.
2006-10-28 05:14:25 · answer #11 · answered by Airadine 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋