I dated a man for about 3 months he was a drug and alcoholic but has been sober 2 years. He told me alot of details about his drug experience however he never told me that he did adult films. I broke it off with him because i thought it was a major detail that he left out and it grossed me out. I'm angry with him and i haven't dated anyone else since about 3 mo. I feel so betrayed and hate men...will i ever get over this feeling?
2006-10-28 04:29:42 · 9 answers · asked by miarae 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Forget all that. Go get tested for HIV. The feelings you have for him will come into focus when you get the fact he may have exposed you to HIV. Geeez some women are so MORONIC. It's scary the things you worry about.
2006-10-28 04:39:10 · answer #1 · answered by areyoukidding 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, it was in his past and that is where he wanted it to stay.
I am all for honesty in relationships, but since this in no way affects you (besides the fact that you are grossed out about it), it really wasn't any of your business and would not have been until you got to the point where you were talking marriage or something. Even then I wouldn't have blamed him for not dragging that skeleton out of the closet. Some things really are best left unsaid.
You could also consider the possibility that he didn't tell you because he was afraid of your reaction ... and rightly so.
One of the hardest things about being an ex-drug user, ex-alcoholic, etc is people judging you on your past. He can't change the past, no matter how offensive you find it. He made some bad choices, but now he has his act together and he is trying to move forward. You should have been supportive of that if you truly cared about him.
I think the fact that you "hate men" over this is because of something in you ... and not because of this guy. He didn't betray you. This stuff was all in the past, behind him. You were his future.
If only for your own sake, get over it. You are being unreasonably angry about something that doesn't matter, no matter how much it grosses you out.
2006-10-28 04:51:54 · answer #2 · answered by BoomChikkaBoom 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You wont until you meet that certain person that you give the chance to redeem man kind and then you wont be over it totally but you will have some relief from your current animosity towards men
2006-10-28 04:33:03 · answer #3 · answered by dmxdragon2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...you cant base that one experience to every guy you meet. There are some nice guys left in the world. Like myself for example. Just take your time to really get to know them.
2006-10-28 06:55:04 · answer #4 · answered by triplexpert69 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he may not of told you about the adult films because he was grossed out himself by them ... lets face it he hit rock bottom and unless you've been there you have no idea how to deal with that ...
my question is how did you find out??? and are you sure its him ... instead of breaking up with him I'd of confronted him (nicely) and asked about it ... no one has a pristine past and to be honest you really have no reason to be angry or feel betrayed ... you didn't give him a chance to talk about it.
2006-10-28 04:34:11 · answer #5 · answered by emnari 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i could sense that he's not comfortable with it, so he opted not to tell you about it. if you really love him, you are willing to accept his past experiences, and be willing to accept him, to forgive him.
but if you feel that this is indicative of not trusting you that much, and you consider that as a major issue, then move on and start your life again. don't dwell. learn from this experience and be a better person.
2006-10-28 04:37:54 · answer #6 · answered by math 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Meet someone else and get on with life.
2006-10-28 05:00:27 · answer #7 · answered by Pencil 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 months is still too soon, in time you will get over it, time heals just about all
2006-10-28 04:35:22 · answer #8 · answered by Dke 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
grow up . he mite like u and didn t want 2 lose or hurt u .
2006-10-28 04:39:59 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋