How do I help an ex get over me? I went out with this guy a few times. It was a medium distance thing so it was sort of weird - like three dates over the course of three months that lasted three days each. Anyway, I decided this guy wasn't the right one for me - I was sort of thinking of someone else. And my someone else was getting around to the point that he was ready to date. So, I broke up with guy number 1 and now I'm dating guy number 2 and we're doing very well. It's been a couple months since I spoke to 1. Now I got an e-mail from him. He says that he hasn't been able to get over me. That I am exactly what he's always wanted. His dog has gone to live with his parents. He wonders whether there is any way he could ever be what I want and he doesn't know. He says it is hard for him to write that to me. He doesn't expect me to write back and he knows I've already decided but he felt that he had to tell me. What is the kindest thing for me to do?
2006-10-28 03:45:43 · 10 answers · asked by pamgissa 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Do I not respond at all? Should I write him back and tell him that I'm happy with guy number 2? That he has many good qualities but would never be the right guy for me? That I still think of him from time to time and am impressed with the gift that he made for me? Wish him luck in his search? Encourage him to move on? I don't know if this would make him feel better or worse ! I think he needs closure, but anything I say is going to hurt. If I say nice things he'll miss me more. Should I act like a *****?
2006-10-28 03:47:45 · update #1
This question isn't hard, it's being able to carry out the answer that's the difficult part. The kindest thing you can do for this guy is to leave him alone. It seems like you're a nice person and you only want to let this guy down gently, but any action that you do whether it's a phone call or even an e-mail can be seen by him as a sign that you are contemplating dating him. By not responding to him you won't be giving him self imposed mixed signals and you won't give yourself the frustration of an unwanted suitor.
2006-10-28 03:52:09 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him this. That you had a great time while it lasted but you two were not perfect for each other. that in the furture you all would have seen it and broke each others heart. So you went on with your life. tell him you would still like to be friends. but you have found someone new and you are very happy . that you hope he will do the same.
2006-10-28 03:54:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say the best thing to do is to leave him alone. Although it may be hurtful, he'll get the message and stop emailing you. If he continues then you must tell him that you have someone new in your life that you are happy with and you would appreciate it if he did the same.Don't play around with his emotions. Be honest and direct.
2006-10-28 03:59:21 · answer #3 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in this situation before and honesty is the best policy. Let him know that you are in a relationship with someone and that you two just didn't work out. Let him know that it's not him personally, but you just don't match. If you're not comfortable with telling him that, just don't respond.
2006-10-28 03:55:40 · answer #4 · answered by TRUST_ME 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't respond, just let it be. You know how he feels, but writing back only gives him hope, because in his mind you care enough to respond, so there's still a small chance. He'll be OK.
2006-10-28 03:57:15 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be honest, but do not tell him that you think of him from time to time, or comment on the gift, you might give him the wrong impression.
2006-10-28 04:00:43 · answer #6 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Answer him in a sincere, and delicate fashion, just be honest. It always best to speak with the truth!.
2006-10-28 03:53:12 · answer #7 · answered by Zorro 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl don't respond because then it just leads to more emotional distress.
Trust me I know.
2006-10-28 03:50:25 · answer #8 · answered by PrInCeSs P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he has to move on in a nice but FIRM way!!!
2006-10-28 03:49:42 · answer #9 · answered by HIMSELF 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, tell him that he should try to find someone else, pretend like you two never went out. I hope it helps..................
2006-10-28 03:49:50 · answer #10 · answered by Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋