she was in the family room, help
2006-10-28 03:36:20 · 15 answers · asked by esopper38 1 in Health ➔ Other - Health
Explain to her that what she was doing was ok but it doesn't belong in the family room. Don't make it out to be a dirty thing!
2006-10-28 03:39:59 · answer #1 · answered by JS 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A) Did she "know" she was masturbating?
B) Are you a pretty open family or very conservative?
Most kids her age...depending on a lot of things, of course...don't really "know" what masturbating is. If they do something and it feels good, they keep doing it. You should discuss with her that things dealing with her privates are just that -- private. She should do things like that in the privacy of her bathroom or in her room. It's also the time to discuss that some people find it unacceptable and others don't, but the norm is still "do it in private."
If you tell her to stop, guess what?, she'll keep doing it because you've made a big deal out of it. You don't have to be a loose-flower-power-make-love-not-war kind of people to believe that the human body is normal and nothing to be ashamed about. You just have to live within certain social guidelines.
If you are a super-conservative-ultra religious family, then now is the time to tell her what you believe about sex, etc. But if you were, I don't think you'd be asking the WWW...you'd be consulting your religious Book.
Just remember...making it taboo only makes it more mysterious.
HTH
2006-10-28 03:48:25 · answer #2 · answered by spnc 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Relax, it's healthy and a normal part of life. Tell her that it's ok and everyone does it and she has nothing to be ashamed about. My kids masturbate all the time and they walk in on me, do for us it's no big deal . Have her sit down with her mom and let them talk about it and maybe share some techniques. That's what I did with my daughter .
2016-01-10 14:55:06 · answer #3 · answered by Niki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The girl has discovered her body. And found out it feels good. This is a normal passage in young life. If you don't want to emotionally scar her, do not make a big thing out of it. She is growing up, I know it's hard to accept, but it will happen no matter how you handle it. It's better she learn about her body on her own, than to have some boy "teach her the ropes". But she needs to understand this is a private thing, not family entertainment.
Good luck
2006-10-28 03:44:12 · answer #4 · answered by sunkissed 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
All I can say is that I hope you didn't let her see you. If you barged in freaking out asking what she thinks she is doing then you probably won't be able to really talk to her about it or anything intimate to her like dating or sex ever again. If you saw her and she has no idea and you and your wife are wondering how to confront her then this is how you should do it........Don't do anything. She was curious and doing what everyone has done. Just let her be and don't embarrass her by letting her know you saw.
2006-10-31 09:58:36 · answer #5 · answered by Cindy C 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i'm sure this wasn't a pleasant discovery for you and your wife. she's rather young to be masturbating, but i'm sure she's not the only girl, that age, or younger, who has discovered the ability to pleasure theirself.
First, i would speak with your pediatrician to obtain any advice s/he might have. s/he may decide it's best to ignore the action in fear of making her feel that what she did is dirty and disgusting
(which it really is not). s/he may also offer advice on approaching the topic, what to say, how to say it, when to say, and where to say it. it's absolutely essential that she not be made to feel that masturbation or any form of sex is unclean, slutty, or inappropriate. Even thogh you may believe it's inappropriate for her age, the wrong words, comments, etc, can scar her for life re: sexual behavior.
you are in a very difficult situation. i really have empathy for you and your wife. both of you should discuss your plan of attack,(good, bad, or indifferent), so that you are both in agreement as to what is going to be said or done.
best of luck.
2006-10-28 03:47:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oh, snap. That is serious. Masturbating at 11...wow...I am nearly 18 and never been kissed. You probably wish that your daughter was like me.. I know my dad gloats at the fact of me never having a boyfriend.
Ok... so tell your daughter what it exactly is. PUNISH her, so she will not do it again. Give her the facts.
Masturbating at 11 might lead to even worse things... what if she gets pregnant at 14? You and your wife will have a fit.
You want to prevent that and let your daughter have the best life possible in the future.
2006-10-28 03:56:43 · answer #7 · answered by Sarah* 7 · 2⤊ 6⤋
You tell her it is inappropriate to do things like that in public view. It's natural that her body has "those feelings" but any exploration of her body should be done in private.
Thats it. No more. No big deal. All natural. All normal. Thats all that needs stated.
2006-10-28 03:40:14 · answer #8 · answered by lykes2win 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
There's really nothing much you can do except accept that she is maturing and exploring. But definitely reassure her that what she is doing is perfectly normal and healthy, that if she has any questions or concerns she is welcome to talk to you both and suggest she try not to be too much of an exhibitionist when enjoying her self-pleasure.
2006-10-28 12:43:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well she is naturally exploring her body. I think the best thing to do is sit down and talk to her about it. I am sure she is embarrassed and will be even when you talk but it would be best for everyone.
2006-10-28 03:40:05 · answer #10 · answered by ShanaJ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋