Is controlling children ...abuse ?

Question

Is controlling children ...abuse ?

While attending a "workshop presentation" on child abuse a corruption of sorts was noticed.

First the model used was that of 'cult-feminists' a model that attacked men, ie child abuse = men who abuse, women and children victims. You will note the polarizing nature of this half-truth.

At the workshop the 'social worker' got up and stated that child abuse begins with a parent trying to 'control' the child.

What do you think ? Is "controlling' a child, child abuse ?

Answer 1

NOT controlling a child is abuse. Children must be taught to live within the boundaries of society and family, and if they're not taught as children, the jail system will teach them. Or they'll learn it on the streets. Or if nothing goes seriously wrong, they'll learn as adults that they are not equipped to deal with adulthood.

Childen have to be taught that you can't have everything you want, that it won't always go your way, and that there are things you cannot do and say.

I can understand why you would ask the question after having been put in the situation you were in. Thank YOUR parents/guardians/teachers/mentors that you were able to be discerning about right and wrong because someone controlled you to some extent. I do believe in givign choices (do you want to wear red or blue? Do you want chicken or fish?) to children, but only when all the choices are appropriate. As they grow, you can help them in making the real choices. But if you're not there kind of controlling those things, the choices they make are liable to be the opposite of what you would choose. NO, this is not just making a child do what you choose, because, and this is the most important part, you COOSE the things that are BEST for your children. You control them to some extent so that they have what is good for them - and that is your right as a parent, as well as your responsibility

Answer 2

Controlling a child is not a form of abuse , when the child is a baby and needs to be controlled. This is the time for the parent to take responsibility of contributing to giving this soul a chance to enter this Life. Yet as one does so, they Must Always Remember, that there child is Not there child. That soul, came into this world, in an Individual body, with no attachments to Anyone , nor any written contract signed by the new soul. As life goes on, and the child can walk and talk, It is the parents duty, to speak to the soul about Life. About survival. About Truths of Kindness , and warnings against Harm. To warn against harmfull actions and the reactions that will cause pain to the child, is what the parent can and must do. Also, to lift the child out of the way of an incoming car, or other danger , etc, is again , teaching the new soul about Life, and how to survive. Yet when one chooses to Force and Yell at a child , when a child does an act that is not desired to the parent, that is Control that will not feed the new soul at all. The child is like a University Professor, whom has come back to a school to learn somthing New. Yet if that Proffessor, is treated unfairly, and yelled at , and there Freedom, and Free Will, is threatened upon, Then that Proffessor, will get Angery, and Leave. That Proffessor , only came to learn and experience, to become what they wanted to be. And will Not Learn, anything , with a teacher that wants to abuse his trust in Him. The teacher is trusted to teach that which will get the Professor on the Right path to the Degree that the Proffessor wants to acheive. But the Proffessor will Never reach there, if the Teacher pushes him away with anger.

Answer 3

As a former Paramedic who's seen too much abuse (both child and elderly) and who was emotionally and physically abused as a child, I'm sorry that you were exposed to this propaganda session pretending to be education.

They used the word "control" for lack of a better one. But, beware of the different definitions here. An abuser may feel that they want a certain behavior or act from the child, and then becomes abusive when the child doesn't comply. The thing to remember, however, is that the desired outcome is almost always contrary to the situation at hand. For example, the child has injured him/herself and is crying. The abuser will yell at the child to quit crying (the non-physical process of abuse). (not very soothing and comforting) The child continues to cry. The abuser becomes angrier and starts the PHYSICAL process of abuse.

Abuse is a crime of violence against people incapable of defending themselves. It's emotional and/or physical cruelty towards the weak.

You don't say WHY you were attending the workshop, but I pray that you're never exposed to real-life abuse.

As a person who has faith in the one true God, I pray for the victims of abuse.

Answer 4

No, controlling a child is not child abuse. Parents have to get a hold on their children so that they know right from wrong. With this generalization, you could even say that putting them in a time-out is abuse because you are controlling them to sit somewhere that they don't want to see. If we disregard discipline, i.e. there would be even more shootings at schools (because they didn't get their way with something), or they would just go in a store and steal what they wanted because they wanted it. I think that sometimes some parents control their children way too hard, but the entire population of parents are not that way.

Answer 5

Controlling Children should not be an abuse ... however it seems that suppressing / hurting the feelings of child / exposing them to negative tendencies is the real abuse .. which strongly affects the childs mind and after growing, these negative seeds will yield harmful fruits for the self and others

However controlling children is essential now a days .. it is essential for them to be on right track of values otherwise they will lost themselves in negativities ... parents and teachers can a play a crucial role in this ....

U have placed a good question

Answer 6

No. It seems it is the responsibility of every parent to bring up children that are respectful, self responsible, law abiding, etc. Some children need more "control" than others, but obviously we draw the line at beating or other potentially dangerous actions.

Honestly, I enjoy society much more when the people in it have consideration for others. Included in that is out of control children. On the other hand, I think people who talk on their cell phones in restaurants should go to a remedial manners class, and they are grown ups...so to speak. Also, I'm really not interested in seeing the belly button, or buttcrack of my waitperson...especially at eye level when I am seated... that's just way more than I want to know about you.

I want to add here, that some people, from childhood on, are incorrigible, and no amount of excellent parenting can overcome
it. Makes life a bit rough for everyone involved until they are out of the home, and in prison. Hope that makes you laugh ;-).

Answer 7

It depends on the amount of control used, as a parent I can state most certainly that giving a child guidance is the best way to parent. Someone has to have a little control over situations that may arise, it's the parents role to exhibit that control & be a model for our children.

Answer 8

No! Not at all... it is what every child needs...
I wasn't really well-controlled and now I wish that my parents did so, so that I could be a better person...

No matter how much a child hates being controlled, do so... they'll thank you when they grow older and be successfull!

Everyone should control their children... if a child goes out of the parents circle... god knows what sorts of stuff may come hitting them... its just like a cell... if a child cell leaves the parent cell, then all sorts of viruses and bacteria can infect the child cell...

So in conclusion, you must control your child... however no parent should overdo it... make sure to at least give them some room, set curfews and give them their space... too much control is just as bad...

Answer 9

Abuse, to me, is beating women and children, calling them stupid and other hurtful names, withholding food (not deserts), withholding love The best way to control your child is to remember that all children start out loving their parents, therefore, if parents talk with their children about what the child is doing wrong, making punishment consist and spending time with the child then the child will be controlled.

Answer 10

That philosophy has created a generation of children who have no respect, no fear, no training, and abusive to even their parents much less other authority. Does not law itself "control" people or do we throw out all the stop signs?