my sister called me crying last night she is in a relationship to where she feels like she cant go on without him. i know there is somone out there for her but getting her to believe it is hard please help on how to help her
2006-10-28 03:00:18 · 11 answers · asked by JENN 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You have to let her figure it out and make her own desicions. She's got her own life, you know?
2006-10-28 03:01:53 · answer #1 · answered by Harsh Noise Wall 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say anything about that, but I am reading between the lines that there might possibly be some kind of abuse going on here. Obviously there has to be something about this guy that you very much don't like, or you wouldn't be so anxious to try and break a relationship that is five years long. I also get the sense that your sister is well over the "age of consent" which means she is considered legally a fully self-responsible adult, which means that she cannot be forced to do anything she is not herself ready to do. I can relate to this situation. Some years ago I had a niece who was bright, intelligent, pretty, and a qualified nurse. She had it all going for her. She met and eventually married a slimey no-good dirtbag who treated her like trash, but nobody could get her to leave the bum. A few years and two small children later, she was a total wreck, and then one day h e shot and killed her in front of her own children, and then turned the gun on himself like the worthless coward he was.
2006-10-28 03:21:02 · answer #2 · answered by sharmel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately she isn't going to leave him until she hits rock bottom. Sometimes people get into a relationship where the person that they are with is addictive like a drug. Let her live her own life but be there for her I know at times its hard but that's what she needs. If you aren't there for her or try and make her choose she might not choose you and then where will the 2 of you be? But just try to listen and support her until she comes around. Good Luck to you both.
2006-10-28 03:04:53 · answer #3 · answered by littlemama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be very careful here. If she feels like you are pushing her to do something she doesn't want to do, and if she starts to feel like her "poor boyfriend" is being picked on, it may alienate her from you. I would just be supportive, keep telling her all of her good qualities, etc. If she starts talking about breaking up with him, gently encourage her, but don't be too adamant. Don't insult the boyfriend, even if she's talking about breaking up with him, because if she goes back to him she will remember what you said and may resent you for it. Even if she is insulting him or badmouthing the relationship, she will 'forgive' herself for venting, but she will not forget the things you say. I would just be there for her. She will come to the realization on her own, hopefully. One thing you could do is try to help her to make a life without him, if she doesn't feel she has one. Invite her out with you and your friends, etc.
2006-10-28 03:05:19 · answer #4 · answered by Kiki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can only advise her eally as it is still a domestic issue. if you tread on her toes you may lose your sister and her friendship.
A very tricky situation. I would stear clear all together!
Maybe set up her boyfriend with a girl he does not know and get her to come onto him bug time like sex or similar. then have it photographed. that way when you produce those photo's to your sister you are the hero!
But i didnt tell you to break your sisters heart!
goodluck!
2006-10-28 03:03:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you try to get her to leave him, you're drive her into his arms. All you can do is support her and gently point out how this guy is hurting her. Maybe help her get to counseling with a pastor or professional. Sounds like she's got a really unhealthy attachment to this dude.
But ultimately - she has to find her own way. Your job as her sis is to support her as she gets thru it.
2006-10-28 03:04:40 · answer #6 · answered by Z Z 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave it alone. When and if she comes to conclusion to leave him support her. We can't pick and choose who our love ones marry or have relationships with. She may be venting and at those times just listen.
2006-10-28 03:01:59 · answer #7 · answered by kyle g 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has to realize for herself that she is miserable staying with him but if she leaves, she will get over him in time. Theres really nothing you can do for her but be there for support.
2006-10-28 03:03:12 · answer #8 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just start by being there for her. She is the one that has to make that choice. Good Luck.
2006-10-28 03:03:44 · answer #9 · answered by winona e 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just explain to her that alot of guys are way better than that dude
2006-10-28 03:02:05 · answer #10 · answered by r. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋