I am in love with my girl friend ( Kate ), and she is in love with me, however her best friend ( Rachel ) hates me and seems to think im going to hurt Kate. Rachel also ( im being told ) messes with all of Kate's boy friend's, then the boy friends start to hate her, and Rachel doesn't know why they do, and starts to get pissed at the other boy friends. Rachel also seems to think that I am trying to break up their friendship, but that is the last thing I ever would want to do, Kate knows I love her, and she know's I don't want to break them two apart.
Wat should i do, and wat should she do to solve this problem ?
please help me
2006-10-28 02:23:36 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it's her problem, save the drama for the mama
2006-10-28 02:25:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The worst thing you can do is fight with Rachel. If she messes with all of Kate's boyfriends then I would say there is some jealousy going on here. Jealous that Kate will be spending less time with her. And jealous that Kate has a b/f and she obviously doesn't. If she did have her own man then she wouldn't be so concerned about butting into Rachel's love life. I'm sure this happens all the time in the world of teenagers. However, you need to deal with Rachel because even though she might not be able to break you and your girl up, she could cause you a head-ache or two. I say.....Kill her with kindness. Try to include her in fun activities with your girl. You need to win her over. Smile and joke around with her. If she gets enough attention from you and Kate she will realize your not the "bad guy" like she previously thought. If possible find her a date. Do you have any friends that might want to go out with her?That would be the best thing because once Rachel is a little happier you and Kate can concentrate on your relationship.
2006-10-28 02:41:58 · answer #2 · answered by deedermarie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now listen carefully, this is a VERY important thing to remember about young women, and their friends, and their boyfriends.
The friend is probably one of those people who feels like if you two date, she will be friendless, and wont get as much attention. You need to make sure that your girlfriend does not ignore her.
Also, you need to calmly assure Rachel, that you will never ever try to hurt her, that you two arent so unalike in the sense that you want what is best for kate, which means that kate needs both her friend and her boyfriend.
You also let her know that her behavior is going to hurt kate more than yours, because she is creating a rift between you two, conflicting kate, and causing drama, where you should be trying to be civil.
You tell her, that she doesnt have to like you, but she has to accept that you love kate, and make her happy. Rachel clearly has issues with abandonment, and you dont want her to become more aggressive.
Tell her its best for you, her and Kate if you two get along, remind her firmly, but nicely, that youre NOT leaving, no matter how she behaves, and you dont want her to leave.
You might not mean it, but you have to say it.
Also, assure Kate that its not a big deal, that things will work out, that you love her, and if rachel is her friend, than you will learn to like rachel for her as well.
It just takes paitence. Be calm, dont back down, but dont pick a fight, let this girl look like the bad guy on her own.
2006-10-28 02:30:42 · answer #3 · answered by mettophobic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
easy but its dangerous tell kate that u will show her that this rachel is crazy and allow rachel to flirt with u or make the ppl who told u z about rachel tell kate
dude u want have a good life with kate unless kate finds out rachel is bad
2006-10-28 02:28:05 · answer #4 · answered by peter prince 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like Kate needs to find a new best friend. What kind of best friend messes around with her best friends boyfriends? Not only does she seem like she's jealous but does she leave it up to Kate to find a guy and then pass him down to her because she can't find a guy on her own without waiting for Kate's leftovers?
2006-10-28 02:28:39 · answer #5 · answered by mother_flower 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if u really love her sit down with rachel and kate together and talk it out. make her understand ur not going to hurt kate and ur not trying to break up there friend ship. or it could just be that she is jelous.
2006-10-28 02:27:07 · answer #6 · answered by Krystal marie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) you are 16 and 17- this is a fun relationship but dont expect marriage and all of that. highly unlikely and you need to realize this because you will change immensely as you age and both of you will mature at different times. What is presently good will not always. 2) it sounds like both of you are still interested in each other. Thus you need to CONTACT HER! and apologize for the fight and calling her names and Hurting her feelings. Really you should Not hurt a Girl's feelings unless she is like trying to hurt your's and even so if she is your GF and B#tching at you. You need to realize girls will do that some times and try to be the Man and the bigger person and not go back at her. 3) Do you even know what love is? id say there is different types of love *love for a friend *love for old flame or someone you liked but are friends with- i dont know what you call that *love for your children *love for your siblings *love for your parental's *love for a animal/pet *True love, in love with someone *mad crazy true love, in love with someone who truly loves you. If its that true crazy love than you wont separate. They will love you to and always want you and want to make it work and you will treat them right and want to make it work. 4) You need to ask her out! also remember there is no friend zone. 5) you need to realize that You likely just love the idea of love. you have an infatuation with her that's why its so hard to take your mind off her which i am assuming is the case. Talk to her apologize. Say you are sorry and tell her you want her like you want to date her.
2016-05-22 02:54:32 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in this situation numerous times. Simple answer. You need a third party that your girlfriend respects....this "3rd party" can come in a variety of ways. 1: rent a movie where the same type of situation is happening where the friend is always jealous....it shows your girlfriend the attributes that her friend has in stark contrast. 2: get into an offhand conversation with an older woman (w/your gfriend present) that your girlfriend may respect and mention that her friend constantly attempts to sabotage because of jealousy. 3: (i've done this) Take your girlfriend to couples therapy with an expensive psychiatrist in a nice, posh setting and talk to the therapist about the problem....this way the doctor will be able to easily explain to your girlfriend the problem... it will blow your girlfriend away that you did this for love. 4: this is a good one... you know that all three of you will be together later in the day, explain to your girlfriend that you believe her friend is jealous of her and is constantly attempting to sabotage your relationship and then tell her you are going to "mention it" offhandedly in conversation when all three of you are together...perhaps even jokingly and see how she (the friend) will react. upon doing this later on hopefully your girlfriend will see after her friend gets up and walks away in a huff how right you are. and lastly..... Take control of your woman so nothing outside of the relationship matters to her whatsoever....the problem with younger guys nowadays I see is that they don't have any "sinatra balls"....or manliness about them. Tell her to get on her knees and slap her across the face if need be... . you're the man damn it. good luck.
2006-10-28 02:41:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell Rachel to suck it up, and get a freaking life! She needs a boyfriend so that she can see how it feels for someone to try to destroy their relationship!
Talk to Kate about it, and what yall should do.
2006-10-28 02:27:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if her friend is constantly doing this, then she needs a better best friend! Just be nice to Rachel (compliment her outfits, say hello when you see her, smile at her, include her in conversations, so on and so forth...). Good Luck :)
2006-10-28 02:27:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to Rachel. tell her that your not gonna hurt the person you love. that's all you really need to say. everything else is either her problem or not yours!
2006-10-28 02:27:47 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋