Children say the darndest things! What is the funniest thing that you have ever heard a child say?

Answer 1

Well back in August my son had recently turned two and his dad was holding him while ducking his head under the stairs to get something. When he stood up he banged his head on the ceiling. My son loudly yelled DAMN IT!!! Then laughed. we all laughed because usually that is exactly what Daniel would have said but we had company over and he was refraining himself.

Answer 2

Oh my gosh!! What a great question!!!

I have 2 children who are always spitting out the funniest things!!

We were in WalMart on a very busy Saturday morning when my youngest was about 22 months old. We were wedged in the toilet paper aisle when a lady passed gas very, VERY loudly. My son began to repeat over and over and over, loudly "LADY POOPED!! LADY POOPED!!!". Of course I was ready to die from embarrassment and the woman was red as a beat.

My oldest son and I had had a busy day and it was just one ordeal after another. I had the dropsy's that day and had dropped a cup full of soda. I had let the word Damnit slip. The next day when we met my grandmother for lunch, my beautiful 18 month old son walked up to her and announced "Mommy says damnit". She put me in time out for that.

But the best ever was after my oldest son had "walked in" on my husband and I one night. We were with the whole family some time later and had gotten on the discussion of what kind of pjs were the most comfy. He proudly announced, after I mentioned that I liked to wear boxers and t-shirts "No you don't mommy. You like to sleep naked.... on top of Daddy!" Hey, at least he was honest!!!

Answer 3

i have four children and they have all had their share of the darndest thing said but one in particular was when my now 17 year old told an uncle at thanksgiving day when he was 7 well hi ken youve gotten bigger since the last time i saw you.

Answer 4

My nine year old cousin managed two in one week. First, I'm a big Def Leppard fan (okay, quit the comments). We were watching a tape of their videos in chronological order. The first video from after the drummer lost his arm came on, and she said, "Wow, he looks like he lost some weight!"

Another time, she was helping me make my bed, and she commented how hard the mattress was. I told her that I liked a hard mattress - it made me sleep better. A few minutes later, she asked why my t-shirt was so long. I told her that big t-shirts were more comfortable. She thought for a few seconds, then said, "So you like things that are big and hard!" She truly had no idea what she'd just said.

Answer 5

Shortly after breaking up from a long term relationship, sitting on the balcony with my friend of 22 yrs (who also just ended a long term relationship) I said to my friend, "I just dont understand men"

Her 10 year old daughter piped up and said, " Do you understand women? They help out, they solve problems, they cook, they make life. What do you need men for? Whats to understand?"

I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants

Answer 6

When my daughter was five, she overheard me comment on how long it takes me to get a bus ride. She was silent for a while and then drew something on a piece of paper. She proudly showed me a drawing of a bus and said "you better hold this mama while waiting for the bus and if one is coming, just show it to the driver and they will let you in". Was not able to say anything because l just kept on laughing.

Answer 7

When she first saw a Daddy Long Legged spider, she asked what a Mommy Short Armed looked like?

Answer 8

OMG! wher do I even begin.

I have five kids and seven months pregnant.
Miachel-6
Bailey-4
Breanne-4
Derin-3
and Kaila-2

The other night, my husband and I were mad at each other and started cussing. Needless to say, our son Derin came into the room and said "Mommy and Daddy say *** hole!" My husband said "Derin, oly big boys and girls can say those words." We laughed so hard we forgot that we were mad at each other. The next night, Derin had pooped in his pants and I started to say "Derin, you can't poop in your pants, you are a big boy, remember?" And right away he says " You *** hole Damint go to heller and ******* stay there!!! See mommy, I am a BIG boy!!!"

Another time, After I had my son derin, I had to pump milk for him. My twins were 1 and a half. They came in and asked, "Mommy what come out of your teetees?" I said, "milk for baby derin". Then I went to put it in the freezer and when I came backin the room, they had my pump stuck on their chest and they said "mommy nothin' come out"

My all time funniest was when we had to go to a seafood potluck. We were going to make lobster alfredo. We had went to the store to get the lobsters. Unfourtunently, Derin got confused and thought they were crabs. I told my kids to look for a white creamy sauce. Derin yells out, "MY MOMMY GOTS CRABS AND SHE NEEDS SOME CREAM!!!!" I was as embarrest as you could be! Then, Miachel held up the bag and showed the lobsters to the world.!! The whole store cracked up, and a lady gave all my kids five dollars she thought they were so funny!!!

Answer 9

As a rule my kids don't get soda. Very rarely anyway. When my 2 1/2 year old little girl was sick with a stomache bug I broke down and bought her own 20 oz bottle of Gingerale. She looked up at me when I gave it to her, "My sodee?, Oh my God!"

Answer 10

Once my then 3 year old son told his grandmother that her green beans tasted like a*$*$! I don't even want to know how he came up with that as a comparison!

A friend of mine little girl once looked at an uncle that she wasn't very fond of, who happened to be bald, "who cut all you bangs off?!"

And one of the students in my 3 yr old child development class recently told me that you milk a cow's "peters" to get the milk out!