I have a relative (girl) who gets abused mentally by her father everyday. He screams at her, badgers her and makes her repeat things over and over. He calls her names and swears at her. She is 18 years old and he is always telling her to go and run away. I know he is disappointed in her, but all this abuse is making her go crazy and hate him, instead of changing her for the good. He won't get counceling. Is abuse ever the answer?
2006-10-28 00:47:00 · 13 answers · asked by shirlandjerry@yahoo.com 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I was SEVERELY mentally and physically abused as a child. By the time I was 11, I wanted to commit suicide. The saying "sticks and stones.....but words will never hurt me..are SO WRONG. I can remember 90 % of the bad things my father said or called me and I can't remember any good things (I am 35 years old). She needs to get out of his house. If that's not possible then some counseling might help. I understand PERFECTLY what she feels..even at 35, my father still does it sometime. She can't make him get help or change. His parents probably did that to him. She can break the cycle so she doesn't do that to her children but she will need counseling. Your job is to tell her good things about herself no matter if they are little things (I like the way you did that, etc.) She will always remember those bad things.l As an adult, my dad and I rarely talk because of the damage he did. He has ruined my self esteem. Abuse is NEVER o.k. I don't care what kind it is. Counseling is helping me not hate mine so much.. You are a great person to care so much about her but remember unless you are doing the abusing, there's only so much physically you can do. She is 18 and so he can't be arrested for child abuse..if he hits her that's domestic abuse but about all you can do is help her feel important no matter what it is
2006-10-28 06:29:15 · answer #1 · answered by chilover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 18, she's of legal age and needs to get away from this abusive parent. She has the same right to get away from this man as she would have if she were living with an abusive spouse or boyfriend. Her father's constant insistence that she run away might be an indication that he, on a subconscious level, fears he may lose it at some point and physically hurt her. Either way, she needs to get out of there.
2006-10-28 00:54:50 · answer #2 · answered by Debra D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abuse is never never never the answer.
It is an exploitation method so that people can take advantage of vulnerable individuals. Abuse is illegal and the father needs to be prosecuted as soon as possible.
someone's life is in danger. What today might be a slap tomorrow can be raping and drowing.
It is very difficult for such a young girl to report it because of the depending nature of the relationship, but it is illegal, it has to be reported and if the girl hasn;t reached the end of her tether, someone else should. Where is the mother in all this? Ignoring in purpose or failing to recognise the signs?
She or you should report the police as soon as possible and make sure you start collecting evidence of abuse as soon as possible. It is vital for your safety and your mental health well being.
2006-10-28 00:54:05 · answer #3 · answered by emhlitsa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No not EVER!!!Abuse is never the answer..she is 18 now so she can move out..Why dont you take her in until she can find a place. She needs to be away from that man..he needs serious counceling. Tell her to be careful tho..sometimes emotional abuse turns into physical abuse. Again tell her to get outta that house for her own safety and sanity!!!!!!
2006-10-28 00:59:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT'S NEVER OKAY TO GET MENTALLY ABUSED-
IF YOUR A RELATIVE WHY CAN'T SHE MOVE IN WITH YOU
IF SHES SICK & TIRED OF GETTING ABUSED SHE'S 18 SHE CAN MOVE OUT OR GO TO A WOMENS SHELTER- WHERE SHE CAN GET THE HELP SHE NEEDS TO MOVE ON-
TELL HER TO LEAVE AND DONT SEE HER FATHER FOR AT LEAST 6 MONTHS-
2006-10-28 01:12:29 · answer #5 · answered by bigsexy8232 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, absue is NEVER an answer. Since she is 18 my suggestion would be for her to get the heck outta there! Do other family memeber know that this is going on...and if yes why havent they done anything?
2006-10-28 00:51:06 · answer #6 · answered by BiancaVee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No .. The sooner she can talk to someone about how he treats her the better off she will be. You need help also if you are able to hear this everyday & not be crazy yet. Get out of there . And geet help!!
2006-10-28 00:58:29 · answer #7 · answered by TT Bomb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
her father has a controll problem...and his abuse is hurting her...also will affect her future relationships with men in her life that she choses for a mate...she will fall prey to that type of personality....unless she recognizes this...she should get counceling requardless if the father gets help...to help her understand what his abuse if doing to her.
2006-10-28 00:52:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Never!!!! Sounds like your relative is a strong girl but NO ONE deserves to be treated like that. He needs to go away or she needs to move out.
2006-10-28 00:56:06 · answer #9 · answered by Lee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then he too is a very sick man, and he could prove to be a danger not only to himself and his family but to stranger as well. Also he could be trying to cover up other forms of abuse to his child or children........................... Please have someone check into this situation. And yes he can be arrested for child abuse.......... Also depending on what form of abuse he is using he could also be locked up for a long time........................
2006-10-28 01:02:15 · answer #10 · answered by kilroymaster 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋