He is simply not the same man only one year ago. I feel like he married me because marriage makes him feel complete, like a man, but none of my needs, physical or emotional are being met. What do I do? My teenage daughter has been in school out here for a year and I cannot move her again (she doesn't know how I feel). We just bought a house together too. I feel stuck.
2006-10-28 00:16:34 · 25 answers · asked by festivus64 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
u must adopt ur life with that condition because of ur daughter u must put ur daughter in the first place think about her and her future she must live with her parents with each other
i think u have to talk to him about ur self and try to make him chang himself
if it didnt work ask anyone of his friends and try to make effect on him
if it didnt work then ask for divorce that is the last solution
2006-10-28 00:22:04 · answer #1 · answered by micho 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you take a job, it is understood that you can quit if you aren't happy with the job, or the employer can fire you, if he isn't happy with your performance. If either of you is unhappy about something, you need to say something. A marriage is the same way. It isn't like you just sold yourself into slavery.
You say that your daughter doesn't know how you feel. I wonder if your husband knows how you feel. You can't really blame him for failing to solve a problem he doesn't even know about. If you have a problem communicating with him, you need to see a marriage counselor.
If he does understand the problem, and he thinks he doesn't need to do anything about it, because you are stuck, he is being short sighted, but some people are.
If that's what you're dealing with, you need to start planning your escape. Even though you don't say anything to indicate actual abuse, a forum that deals with domestic abuse would probably be a good place to get some ideas about that.
2006-10-28 08:11:57 · answer #2 · answered by Allen Montgomery 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you brought up these issues with him? If not, I suggest you tell him your problems you are having with the marriage. If he is unreasonable about it or has a selfish attitude toward you, then be quite determined! and take matters into your own hands and file for divorce! I might add that I have no idea which Country you live in. As some Countries, have a different attitude towards their wife's and females in general! But if you live in the western society then go for it! and don't look back, the house and other problems can be sorted out later. You are entitled to have a happy life!!!!
2006-10-28 07:32:29 · answer #3 · answered by wheeliebin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rather than feeling doomed try giving yourself a second chance.
Sit down with him and discuss your needs with him make him understand that u want more from your relationship.Give it a try than thinking of all the negatives.Work and walk that extra mile to make your marriage work before giving up all hope.Sometimes realisation does not dawn on a person unless told about things explicitly.Maybe your efforts work and bring happiness into your life.But before breaching any topic please rehearse all what u want to say to him time and again with the understanding that u donot in any respect hurt him or his ego to make matters worse.
Also fill whatever u want to say with emotional dramas so that he is emotionally smitten by what u feel towards your relationship but no matter what, do not hurt his ego otherwise things would go beyond repair. .
2006-10-28 07:43:32 · answer #4 · answered by krish 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not that hes not the same man now, its that you see him different and feel differently about him. you knew he was this way when you married him, honey.
you need to sit down and talk to him.if its the sex, get some videos and try to have better sex. Sex is often a big thing to where if its not good anymore, the the relationship must be "expired". A lot of people's marrieages are suffering b/c theyre not having good sex anymore.. ( a secret of mine is whenever i get bored of sleeping with my boyfriend,i fantasize about someone else who really turns me on for like an hour, then i will be sooo wanting it from my boyfriend. :) )
just talk to him. do you have any friends? stay with a friend for a few days tell your husband she is stressed out right now and needs someone to talk to. get some air and get away from the situation for a little bit.
dont give up okay? you have to set a good example for your daughter and teach her to cherish marriage.
2006-10-28 07:26:47 · answer #5 · answered by california gurlie poo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This must be your second marriage, right! how does your daughter feel about this guy? and, did you jump the gun, with him.
What did you expect from him to start with. Did he make a bunch of promises that he's not full-filling? what's the entire story.
I think you better have a "sit-Down" with your significant other and see what the problems are. See if there's some way to straighten out the mess you seem to have created. You see, maybe he isn't what you expected but, what about his expectations? huh! how about his feelings honey. Where does this leave him?
I see a lot of Me,Me,Me here.
2006-10-28 07:24:33 · answer #6 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's because you ARE stuck. That's what marriage is, sugar.
See, when you are married, you are not supposed to be happy all the time, but you are supposed to have a partner to help you resolve problems, raise children, make a home ... you know, normal Ozzy and Harriet stuff.
Talk to your husband, and explain how you feel and perhaps suggest some different things that could address your discontent. Don't blame HIM if YOU feel dissatisfied, ask him to help you, and if he loves you, he will.
2006-10-28 07:21:34 · answer #7 · answered by Grendle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had better be talking to your husband instead of a bunch of stupid strangers on Yahoo. You need to go to therapy, sweetie. Stop making excuses that you cannot do anything because of your daughter. Also, maybe you are not the woman he married a year ago either. Would be interested in hearing his take. How can you speak for him by saying you make him "complete"? I would say that you need to deal with reality.
2006-10-28 07:24:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say this to you...but I think getting married made YOU feel complete as well.because now that you are looking back on it you have regrets. Lots of times people think they have to get remarried and tend to grab onto the first guy that looks decent that comes along...might not be the big love in our lives but he seems comfortable...I know because I did it too...I stayed 5 years then finally went back home..it took me a while to get back on my feet again..went back to school started a new job and have just bought myself a house of my own..its hard...but you can do it...don't waste time..it really goes fast. Good luck
2006-10-28 07:22:08 · answer #9 · answered by .*^+Holly+^*. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him and find out what is going on in both of your life's. You know being married is a hard job & it's nothing like dating. Marriage is a 24 -7 job.
2006-10-28 07:20:26 · answer #10 · answered by "karma" 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just the way I feel. But try talking to him ,but if you feel that it never going to work... GET OUT NOW. Your daughter will understand if you sit down and tell her whats what. as for the house it can be sold,is it bought and paid for or does the bank own it... cuase no house is woth your health, and peace of mind, nor that of your daughter. Trust me i just walk away from a 160,000 house that I bought just to get rid of my ex. And it was worth every cent,
2006-10-28 07:30:42 · answer #11 · answered by wiringtheworld 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋