I am a 32 yr old guy. I am using the gf computer. I just found out she asked on here if any one has seen this guy Nathan who she dreams about. She already in the past has said she wanted to look him up , I found that out before.She knew him from like 5 years ago atleast. They barely had a realationship and she is only 22 years old. We have a beautiful little daughter and I thought a great family. Obviously she cant control her desires. I dont know why she doesnt love me enough to just be happy. Any way I have the van packed. We live in calgary but if i leave now i have to drive to Ontario where my family lives. There is no turning back. What should i do or do you think i should be ok with this ?
2006-10-27 21:29:55 · 22 answers · asked by Candy C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You mean to tell me you packed up your van and then got on you computer to ask if you should leave or not? Man' you should all ready be gone. Don't ever play #2 to nobody!! You and your child are suppose to be # 1 with her. If she is dreaming about someone else and lusting for them then her heart is not with you. Are you gone yet?
2006-10-27 21:42:44 · answer #1 · answered by Sarcastic Sid 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The problem with not being married is that there is always a back door that is very easy to use. But then you have a daughter together...will you take her with or leave her? She'll miss her daddy a lot if you leave her.
Some time apart is good and can hep you decide what you really want in life...most times people don't realise how much they wanted something until it was gone.
My suggestion would be
1.) Talk to your GF and let her know you know
2.) Take your daughter for a holiday to see your family
3.) Give the your GF some breathing space...let here know you love her. you love her a lot. Do something special just for her. And leave something that will remind her of you while you take a break.... but in no uncertain terms tell her she must decide what she wants in life and that you will not share her or get part of here affections if she is messing around behind you.
Remember she is curious... and has not done anything yet.. so don't be too hard on her or you might tun her away from you. All she will remember of her ex are the good times and not the bad times.. there must have been times when he made her cry or messed her around... but if she is curious she will romanticise about him and all the good times....
However, you have to stop it now before it grows into something worse..before she acts out on her feelings....
And if you are really serious about your future show her by committing to her.... thing hard ... you will know what to do
2006-10-27 21:41:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you should not have to put up with this. You deserve better! Give her an altermative. You or Nathan. It's sounds like a horrible thing to do but you's have a family, you don't really want to break that up, because in the end it is always the children who suffer. Maybe you should go away and visit your family for a while and then do what your heart tells you. Hope that all works out for you.
2006-10-27 21:34:56 · answer #3 · answered by rach 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's really hard! I understand where ur coming from but sometimes it takes a dose of reality to get over someone. I've been married for 4 yrs and I still try to look up old boyfriends on myspace and stuff. I believe that there are just some people u can't get over until you know how they are, if their happy, or if they ever think about you. I don't think you should leave yet
2006-10-27 21:39:08 · answer #4 · answered by phucked_up 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see your point, but I think you might be cutting and running at a time when she has need of a shoulder to lean on.
Let's face it, not only does your family mean a lot to you but your gf probably doesn't know why the guy is in her thoughts.
I mean, she isn't doing it on purpose is she?
In my opinion, the only thing we know for certain is that she doesn't have a lot of experience. She may be fretting over a missed relationship but from what you said that seems unrealistic so is there a chance of psychosis??
2006-10-27 21:39:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suspect she is trying to recapture her youth (even though she is very young). She probably missed out on the romance of dating and is wanting it now. You are 10 years older and were probably ready to settle down. You need to have a serious talk with her and see what's really on her mind. Maybe a separation would be in order to see if she can't live without you. But in the long run, it's better to split up now than not trusting her and being miserable for many years.
2006-10-27 21:35:09 · answer #6 · answered by phoenixheat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang in there with her just because she is looking for this guy does not mean she loves him besides its been 5 years he might be married or an a** hole don't give up what might be the best thing you could have for a thought. She might never find him you also have a daughter to think about.
2006-10-27 22:49:34 · answer #7 · answered by dreamweaver021557 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to talk to her about it first & find out what she plans to do when she finds this Nathan. Also, how she feels about you, and if she plans to spend her life with you.
I do believe your at a point that everything needs to be openly talked about now & you will know exactly where you stand with her, you have nothing to lose at this point if you are already packed & you will not spend years wondering about the decission you made.
2006-10-27 21:41:10 · answer #8 · answered by skymastergolfpro 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, how has your relationship been lately? Sometimes when things aren't going too well between mates things can start to fall apart and maybe she is doubting your love for her. It is just a sugestion but if I were you I would let her know that you found this out and ask her intentions, tell her how hurt you are over it and for her to explain what she intended. It could be she just wondered where he is now and has no other intentions...................good luck, it is a hard thing sometimes to know what to do.
2006-10-27 21:36:57 · answer #9 · answered by ladynamedjane 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very big decision to make. Are you thinking of taking your daughter? If so, she can get you on kidnapping.
But forget about that for now.
Do you see yourself spending the rest of your life with her? Well do you? If no, then I guess you just answered your own question. But if yes, start unpacking.
It all comes down to this, will she cheat or does she just want to get it out of her system.
2006-10-27 21:34:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋