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i was not attracted romantically but he had always been attracted to me.I wasn't gona date him cuz even thou our personalities are similar,we are amazingly different at the same time. He is a stereo typical rocker/metalhead right down to the drinking &drugs &playing kickass guitar! I'm mature,serious,devoted 2 school& work& don't drink/smoke. He&I were there 4 each other when bad things happened and just over a couple of months we're almost like best friends we just have this amazing connection & then somehow we started dating.it was very troublesome in the beginning we broke up twice in the 1st week(cuz we felt uncomfy cuz we were like best friends)but always got back 2gether in a day or2.Then his drinking& smoking really got to me(it never did when we were friends but its different when ur a couple)we broke up(3rd time),we were still good friends, he was sad and told me he wanted me back and he will change.I told him it’s a bad idea and that its not fair to him to change 4 someone unless he wants to change for himself. and that he did & didn't do drugs/drink 4 a week, he complained about being sober all the time but also said that he is doing this for us and its important to him. then he did acid & told me cuz he can’t lie to me. I can’t deal with him being f***ed up,I love him no matter what ,I did and always will but he is what he does and its not fair 4 either of us to make a compromise. he is unhappy if he doesn’t do drugs and I’m stressed out when he does.and hes also moving away but wants to keep up a long distance relationship.his friends never liked me cauz I’m too clean 4 them &him. should I end this for good &just be friends??i’m so confused!plz help!!we’ve known each other since august and have been dating for 3 weeks now.i’m two yrs older than him.he doesn’t plan on going to school but he works and pays his bills responsibly but also wastes a bunch of money on drugs…plz guide me.i don’t want to lose him or him to be hurt if he doesn’t have me by his side but I can’t keep hurting myself by putting up with what I don’t approve of PLZ HELP!!!

2006-10-27 21:04:47 · 22 answers · asked by jenn 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

22 answers

You know, while it is important to care about other people and the like at times its no good sacrificing your life just to make sure other people feel good and are not hurt, think about your future and do what is good and best for you. Your Dude is an addict and he wont change. You mentioned you are too clean for him and his mates, therefore can conclude is not even your class, ask yourself what you love in the guy, be focused, look beyond immediate things, have ego although too much of this is not good but it matters. My last advice is that get over him and move on, i know u luv the guy, but in life you have to learn to love and let go, there are so many guys out there who are not even on drugs or you can even try me.Hey just hurt him this time for your own good......move on my lady
In future try to be careful, you appear to be too weak to fall in love, how do you honestly love him this much when you only new him in August?

2006-10-27 21:38:34 · answer #1 · answered by DM FORMULAR 1 · 0 0

The smart thing is to leave this guy because you would end up in a very unhappy realtionship. Yes in a relatonship there are compromises but don't mix up a compromise with just holding on. He is not a good idea for you and it is good that he is moving away from you so that you could get over him. He needs a rehab centre and you should as his friend advise him since it seems that you are his only friend. Also let him know that the people who are encourage him to take drugs and drink are not his friends. Friends are people that wants the best for you. He would only stop for a while for you and guess what when he gets comfortable with you he would go back to his dirty habits again. Try to make a clean break if he doesn't take your advice because he seems to me that he is a very unambitious slub and no woman needs that in her life. He is not even trying to better himself by going to school to further his education to make a better life. If he really cared about you or living in fact he would have tried to better himself.Things are getting more and more expensive all around us so in the end his wife would be minding him with the little jobs that he could get with his limited education. Try to encourage him to further himself and make him realise that he is wasting his life on things that aren't worth a penny. I feel very sad to read about his story and i hope that he cleans up his act for his own sake not yours or anyone elses.

2006-10-28 05:06:40 · answer #2 · answered by *Pretty In Pink* 4 · 0 0

Honestly, I think you two should remain friends. you two are too different!! Not going to school & not having or even caring about having a relationship is too big of a deal just ignore, not to mention the drug & alcohol problem, he even told u it'z hard for him to change, so why would u waist your time or someone like that? especially "long distance"! It'z just too much, & u've only dated him for 3 weeks. Liking or loving someone az a friend, doeznt mean u can love/like that person az anything more, keep that in mind, u guyz are too different, hiz friendz don't like u, hiz flawz are BAD, drugs & alcohol are seriouse stuff, So imagine this, ur dating a drugie, who'z not even there!! It'z just not worth it , it'll never work out, I say stay good friendz & that it, & IF he doez change " while u two are friendz " then u can give it another chance, that's "if" u still felt the same.

2006-10-28 04:21:23 · answer #3 · answered by CupCake 3 · 0 0

Why would you want to keep seeing him as miserable as you say you have been with him? He doesn't sound too happy with you either. What good are either one of you getting out of this? It is obvious that he will do drugs and drink until HE is ready to stop. It is just as obvious you will never approve of his lifestyle. Stay friends if you can but forget the dating.

2006-10-28 04:18:33 · answer #4 · answered by stariei 2 · 0 0

such a long question, i struggled reading it all.

here's what i think...you should write down the pros and cons of dating him. if there are more pros, then go for it, if more cons, leave him. especially since he's moving away.

i've dated a drug addict for 2 years and it was just too complicated, one day, he's gonna come to you and ask for money, one day you'll caught him doing something bad just so he could get drugs.

maybe his moving away is a sign that you two are just not meant to be? i don't know, but do write that pros and cons thing i told you about. it'll help you decide.

2006-10-28 04:17:17 · answer #5 · answered by catkittykitten 2 · 0 0

i dont think you need to be "together" to be there for him. you can stay friends just like you were but if your lifestyles are completely different then it will be very hard to be together. you were right about him having to change for himself first and i think you should wait for that to happen before you can be with him on a bigger level. there is no sense in just breaking up every other day. talk to him and tell him you want to be close friends but nothing more - its always a possibility for the future

2006-10-28 04:13:28 · answer #6 · answered by .......... 2 · 0 0

My advice to you would be to move on, you sound like you are a good girl with a good head on your shoulders and a heart of pure gold, why should you throw away what you have worked for when this guy will go back to his old ways soon. I hope you find someone else more deserving of you. Good luck and don't try to raise him it won't work.

2006-10-28 04:09:15 · answer #7 · answered by ladynamedjane 5 · 1 0

keep him as a friend when he can get away from the life style he has and grows up you two may have a chance but he sounds like a good friend mabey when he moves back to your neck of the woods he will be ready for a relationship

2006-10-28 04:10:30 · answer #8 · answered by lv23smurf 3 · 0 0

I am going to make this short and sweet. Why do you want to be stupid? He is a bum. You have something going for you. Why do you even want to wipe your feet on him? Move on' go find someone worthy of breathing the same air as you. This guy is on his way down. Don't let him take you with him. Break all ties' Let him go!!!

2006-10-28 04:30:51 · answer #9 · answered by Sarcastic Sid 4 · 0 0

Move on honey, learn 2 love urself, u r so precious 4 him, move on, when u r near him he couldnt stop doing drugs, do u think that wn u have a long dist. rel.ship, he'll stop. u r so good 4 him & give urself time & u'll totally get over him.

2006-10-28 04:24:59 · answer #10 · answered by loza 4 · 0 0

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