Why do mothers give their daughters guilt trips?

Question

At some point, it just seems that all moms of daughters flip out and start manipulating, triangulating and otherwise mucking up their daughters lives. How can we break the cycle people?

Answer 1

Mothers do that because that is the way they were raised. Her mother did all sorts of damage to her, and whether she liked it or not, through osmosis she learned that this was the way to raise a daughter. Once she has a daughter, she uses the exact same tactics, not because she's mean, but because that was her training.

The only thing a daughter can do is understand that this is the way her mother is, try not to let the fights get too intense, forgive her, and move on.

It will be far more important for the daughter to learn this before she has kids herself - otherwise nothing will stop the cycle.

And take it from me, it's mothers and sons too.

Answer 2

I don't know for sure, but my wife read a book awhile back which said girls tend to really be affected by guilt. Of course the author was suggesting using it more as a discipline tactic. For example, instead of punishing her you say something like "don't you know how sad that makes me" The author says these tactics work wonders with girls. I am no shrink but I see your question as the end result of laying guilt trips. It all sounds kind of lame to me.

So to your question as to why, I think because doing it works in there favor, but they don't know the impact it does mentally. The only way to break the cycle is to remember how your mom treated you and not do the same with your children.

Answer 3

I dont think its a guilt trip but they're trying to disapline them and raise them well. Mothers and daughters always clash during teenage yrs then after their daughter gets married and have kids of their own they usually become best friends. Its all a journey I suppose.

Answer 4

My mom never did. She had a life, so she didn't have any incentives to give me any guilt trips. She's been nothing but supportive (the only exception being when I colored my hair bright red in high school- she wasn't too happy then).
I guess I am very lucky.

Answer 5

you know I'm only twenty and my mom keeps on asking me when I am going to college. She keeps on bringing up stupid crap and my brother is 24 and still hasn't been, she should be nagging him not me. All I can say it when you find a solution tell me.

Answer 6

they were taught so and men can give them such a hard time.

men demand a lot, are picky, whiny, childish and still the man of the house. women do the work of the man of the house and he gets the title. seen this pattern with all mothers.

Answer 7

because their mothers also did that to them....and thats the kind of environment they grew up in, so it just seems like the natural response when they have kids of their own.

Answer 8

its a cycle llike a generational curse they are repeating the same way there mother treated them

Answer 9

Because when a woman conceives a child, she automaticly gains
this little robotic trigger in her mind, that will set off when pissed.
These triggers are hand built by satan.

Answer 10

Well when they forget things that need to be done like vacuum their room or wash their windows, shine their shoes, or use a vulgarity sometimes, it is our job as a parent to steer them right