Whats the best joke you ever heard?

Question

do tell

Answer 1

A guy wanted to buy a gift for his new girl friend’s birthday and as they had only started dating, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: personal, but not too personal. Accompanied by the girl friend’s younger sister, he went to Herrod’s and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, however, the clerk got the items mixed up and the sister got the gloves and the girl friend got the panties. The guy sent the package to the girl friend with the following note:

I chose these because I noticed you are not in the habit of wearing any in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears the short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the sales clerk that helped me has a pair that she has been wearing for the past three weeks and they are hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart. I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt other hands will come into contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me Friday night.

All my love.

PS: The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing

Answer 2

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started. During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

Answer 3

Here are a few short ones,hope u like them
From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small
island who is shouting and desperately waving his hands.
"Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain.
"I've no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes nuts"
Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his
examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them
anything."
Q: Why do people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get
older.
A: They're cramming for their finals.
1st thief, "Police! Quick! jump out of the window!"
2nd thief, "But this is the 13th floor"
1st: "Hurry! This is no time to be superstitious"
A drunk got into a taxi and told the driver, "Take me to The
Piccadely Hotel."
The taxi driver turned round and said, "But we are at The
Piccadely Hotel, we're parked right outside it." 'That's fine then,
but next time, don't drive so damn fast!"

Answer 4

the dumbiest one ought to be this one: A snail walks right into a bar and the bartender kicks him out. A year later a similar snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman "What did you are trying this for?" the funniest one via a strategies is this one: lol a youthful teenaged lady became a prostitute and, for obvious motives, stored it a secret from her Grandma. sooner or later, the police raided a brothel and arrested a team of prostitutes, alongside with the greater youthful lady. The prostitutes have been prompt to line up in a on the instant line on the sidewalk. properly, who ought to be strolling interior the community, yet little previous Grandma. The youthful lady grew to alter into frantic. particular adequate, Grandma observed her youthful granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for expensive?" no longer prepared to enable grandma in on her secret, the greater youthful lady stated that some human beings have been giving out unfastened oranges and that she became lining up for some. "Mmmm, sounds beautiful," stated Grandma, "i think of i will have some myself," she persisted as she made her thank you to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all the prostitutes. whilst he have been given to Grandma on the top of the line, he became bewildered. "yet, you're so previous, how do you do it?" Grandma responded," Oh, it extremely is extremely common sonny, I merely do away with my dentures and suck 'em dry."

Answer 5

Mick's wife was furiously humping away with her husband's best mate, Peter, when suddenly the phone rang. She hopped out of bed and returned to the sweaty sheet after a brief conversation.

"Who was it?" the back stabbing buddy asked.

"Oh, that was Mick," she replied calmly.

"Oh crap, I'd better be going then!" he said. "Did Mick say where he was?"

"Relax -- he's down at the pub playing a few games of pool with you."

Answer 6

A man who has got 3 balls goes to a doctor and not knowing how to explain his problem, finally speaks out hesitantly "Yours+mine = 5"
The doctor replies "I understand now. so you have only ONE?"

Answer 7

3 parachuters (Ed, El, and Em) jumped from a plane, Ed weighs 55 kilos, El weighs 57 kilos, and Em weighs 62 kilos. Ed open his parachute first, 15 seconds later Em open his, 25 seconds later El open his parachute...

Who got on Earth first?













The answer is :








Adam and Eve..

Answer 8

So a young boy asks this pirate with this pegleg hook and eyepatch about how he got them.
How did you get the pegleg, he asked
Arrr me got it bit off by a shark.
How did you get the hook.
Arrr me lost in swashbuckling on the high seas with rival pirates.
How did you get the patch
Seagull pooped in my eye
ANd that made you lose your eye?
Arrrr no, it was me first day with the hook.

Answer 9

i like anne's joke above made me laugh !!

Answer 10

Numerous, countless "best" jokes I heard...it is really difficult to pluck the best of the best.