My step-dad seems like he is only mean to me and not my brother or sister. My brother and sister are his kids and I'm not. I feel like I'm always doing stuff wrong but most of the time I'm not. My self confidence is so low in my house. My mom says to give him slack but how can I when he's a bastard!!!
2006-10-27 19:34:49 · 8 answers · asked by loveurlife93 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i feel for you.... try talking to your mom and step dad at the same time and telling them both how you feel.. it must be hard to go thru something like that , i hope things work out for you!
2006-10-27 19:41:02 · answer #1 · answered by apple martini 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I won't defend someone who is a jerk, but let me ask you this: Do you think your Mother is nicer to you than she is to your brother and sister? Sometimes couples get into a war with each other that ends up hurting the kids. A married couple should ideally put God first, spouse second, rest of family third, and job fourth. Quite often one or both of the couple will put their children ahead of their spouse. This might not even be on a conscious level, and they would probably deny such a thing was happening if they were accused of it. The other might then try to do the same thing, hoping that the other will understand what is wrong with this picture. In the end the children are used against the spouse in a tug-of-war, and the parents might not even be aware they are hurting the kids. Why don't you bring the subject up at the dinner table, and be prepared to hear that no one meant to hurt you. You might wake your parents up.
2006-10-27 19:52:25 · answer #2 · answered by OldMan1944 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I grew up in the same environment. Unfortunately, my mom looked the other way when I was being treated unfairly. There's not a lot you can do if your mother won't back you up.
It is important to you though to examine your attitude and your feelings toward your step-father. Are you angry because he married your mom? Do you treat him with disrespect? Do you try to pit him against your mother in arguments about/with you? If you can honestly say that you have done all that you can do to try to make it work, it is time to get some counseling. Talk to your school counselor. Better yet, ask your mom to arrange a few therapy sessions for you. Maybe that will open up lines of communication with her and it might give her better insight to your point of view.
2006-10-27 19:53:03 · answer #3 · answered by sunshineandsilliness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having been in your situation before I can relate, My step-father and myself mutually agreed that we disliked each other. I did so many things to split up him and my mom, but this was over 21 years ago. Now they've been married 26 years. He took in 5 step-daughters so his hands were full. I told him last year, I Loved him for the first time and he said it also. My father passed away 21 years ago thought everyone was against me. Now wouldn't trade him out for no one. Your mom is in tough spot, between a rock and hard place. We want them to choose because we think their the worst step-parent, Don't try it, will make problems worse for yourself. Agree to disagree and go on... Have prayer and patience, keep your head up and regain your self confidence ... My Best to you and family...
2006-10-27 20:13:53 · answer #4 · answered by Ms.Sam 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well give him sometime. Your mom wouldn;t have married him w/out knowing you were going to be hapy too. It may not seem that way at first, but give him sometime too. He doesn't have a very strong relationship w/you so maybe he doesnt know how to treat you. So what I would do is talk to my mom, and ask her to talk to him about it. Or maybe you should talk to your step-dad yourself. B/c he may not know your personality or if you are sensitive, maybe you should spend some quality time with he so you and him can get to know each other. Remeber its hard on both parts, so give it some time. Good luck! :]]
2006-10-27 19:49:14 · answer #5 · answered by |katt| 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really concern about this and its emotionally taxing on you then you need to address this with him and your mother at the same time. Its not fair for you to feel this way and especially he should be encouraging you and your siblings..No favoritism here.
IF you cant reach some agreement, then is there a family member you can live with for the time being..Little things like this turn into big things in the future and if you feel like a black sheep now then it could only get worse...sometimes a step parent wants to make good or be nice to you in the your natural parents eye and make them think everything is ok but hes abusing you or treating you unkindly...you need to address it honey...no one can change it for you but yourself...so speak up....we dont want to make it into a cinderella case here ...good luck ...i hope everyone is better for you once you address it ...things at home cant affect your whole life you know
2006-10-27 20:14:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay right with yourself, do not be self conscious.to heck with him. you will find that a lot of people in this world are like him. trust in the spirit that is in you. you are a great person. express that.enjoy your youth.don't let him spoil it. ignore him.there's lots more to do then bother with thinking about our reacting to him.I wish you well.
2006-10-27 20:04:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe it's your attitude!
2006-10-27 19:40:31 · answer #8 · answered by jgmafb 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋