I was talking to my seven year old daughter tonight and she told me that when she goes to visit her dad that he hits her and knocks her down. She said that one time he put his foot on her leg and held her down to the floor. She said that her step-mother has stepped in before and told him to stop, and that she has to say it several times before he actually will. I am a social work student and am pretty familiar with the CPS structure in the area, and I'm confident that if this is all that is happening, that they will simply investigate it and if it is substantiated they will order classes, etc. I am not wanting to take her away from her father, but did tell her that I need to do something about this and that it may mean that she won't be able to visit for a few weeks. I have always said that he was a lousy husband, but he's a good father, but obviously I'm not feeling that way anymore... What she tells me isn't really surprising to me because his abusive behavior is the main
2006-10-27 19:25:20 · 6 answers · asked by sunshineandsilliness 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
reason we are no longer together. She is with me right now, so I know that she is safe, but she has a visit coming up next weekend. I want to call CPS, and I told her that I would, but now I'm considering contacting the school social worker and asking her to speak with her, as she is required by law to report any suspected abuse. I really just want someone to go in and talk to him and let him know that this kind of behavior is NOT ok, unless of course it is substantiated that he is being physically abusive toward her. How would you go about this? I do not feel like I can confront him because he would probably take it out on her and then say that I am trying to turn her against him (which I'm not... I always said I'd let her come to her own conclusions about her father... they're simply coming much earlier that I expected that they would -- she's 7). How would you proceed?
2006-10-27 19:29:09 · update #1
You daughter told you because she's expecting you to be able to stop this. DO IT. Don't wait to go thru the school counselor route. They will interview your daughter and decide if they feel they need to confront your ex and his wife.
Tell CPS of your abuse also. If your daughter is afraid to be with your ex, then more likely than not they will order supervised visitation at a "half-way house" setting. You won't be there. He'll be watched to see how he interacts with your daughter. The supervised visitation will probably happen for at least 6 mos.
Whatever your ex says after the fact is irrelevant.
2006-10-27 19:40:54 · answer #1 · answered by messageboardjunkie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would first go to school social worker and tell her that and ask her advice. then she will talk with your girl and file it. then u or her report it to cps and they will investigate it. they might not to anything after if they find it as u write "substantinated" but at least maybe it will scare him cos he will know that there is some punishment awaiting him if he does smth wrong. and i would suggest u tell your daughter to tell u each minute she spends with her dad and i really don't understand how can u call and abusive man who is hirting his own little daughter a good father. and to my opinion she will be much better without visiting an abusive man
2006-10-28 02:35:56 · answer #2 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get a temp. restraining order until he can take some classes and start acting right. Do not let her alone with him again until he has had some kind of anger management class. One of these times he's gonna really hurt her and then you will be kicking yourself in the butt for not putting a stop to it sooner. Good Luck
2006-10-28 03:19:18 · answer #3 · answered by flutterby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter told you because she trusts you to protect her. Report it right away and until there's a resolution, she should not be with her father unless it's a supervised visit.
2006-10-28 09:54:50 · answer #4 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as far as i am concerned...you sent too much time talking when you should have been on the phone. your job is to protect your child. a dad that does these types of thing to a child, or any one, is NOT a good dad. report his ***...and now!
2006-10-28 09:33:16 · answer #5 · answered by KaLee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would report it immidiately and they will tell you where to go from there. trust me.
2006-10-28 02:35:10 · answer #6 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋