Im in love with a married man and both me and him are in the army and in the same unit. He has two kids and I have a daughter and a single mom too. Me and him knew each other for a year now. I dont know If what I feel for him is love or lust, but whatever it is I really am afraid to lose him. Whenever I ask him about his wife, he said his wife aint gonna know about me and him, and he'll always tell me dat whenever he gets stressed out he just thinks of me.I had went out to the club with him and his friends and me and him had ***, right now the problem is I think Im pregnant. What should i do, If I find out that I am pregnant?
2006-10-27 19:05:39 · 23 answers · asked by simplegurl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dear Oh Dear,
How in the world do u land up in a situation like this ?
It is unfortunate that the Girls in the army get into this sort of problems quite oten as they are much more vulnerable, being away from their families. I have been part of the organisation so I am aware.
All what u are doing is wrong, dating a married guy, expecting him to love you and on top of that claiming that u love him a lot ?
What do u expect ? What YOU really want. I'll take a wild guess here and bet that the kind of guy that you truly want isn't the kind of guy who would act how this guy is acting. As in, the kind of guy who would sleep with a woman and then act distant.
So, sorry for asking but... What the hell are you doing!? You're wasting your energy trying to fall in love and approval of someone who is already deceiving one women HIS Wife and KIDS (his family).
If I were you I would not even want to be with him!?
Ok, now You need a lesson on who a man really is. The feminine energy grows with fullness, praise, connection and love, to allow a kind of "surrender" in all kinds of joyful experiences. With sex, women surrender to the experience with a man through love and connection, which can make the man and woman as one. But the masculine energy doesn't work this way.
At least not in the "darker" part of a man. The masculine energy is VERY different. The masculine energy seeks to break through challenges all alone and arrive at its desire - "emptiness" and "freedom", men often seek this physical challenge in sex as a goal unto itself, where they can break through to a temporary "freedom". A man will NEVER see you exactly the way you want him to see you, or value you exactly the way you know you should be valued!!
Now the other part of your question IS IT LUST or LOVE ?
how can you tell the difference between lust and love? Here are a few tips to help you sort things out. It's lust if:
He does not care about anything you say - He make excuses not to spend time with u, except for sex. And if u ask for a favor, he tells u he is too busy. But if you have to be with him and not having sex, does he gets on your nerves or behaves rudely or is irriated ?
He only wants to be with you to have sex - It wouldn't make a difference to you if you never had a conversation with him.
He does not bother to return your calls promptly and you can easily go for days without talking to him — until he wants to have sex again.
He leaves after sex - After having sex with you, he looks for the easiest way to leave. No cuddling, no nothing just "I gotta go."
I am also suprised from your details that you are already a single Mom (whatever that means ? Divorced or just s single Mom?), When will you ever learn to handle guys ?
Please make sure you dont go getting pregnant (get it fixed), Dont you think about your daughter ?
My Advice: Back Off and leave him and wait for that perfect guy who will eventually come along and love u truly and then you both can live happily ever after without trying to play hide and seek with THIS MARRIED MAN.
GOOD LUCK>r
2006-10-27 19:47:32 · answer #1 · answered by Rahul 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're pregnant, what u should do is take responsibility! and realize that you will probably be a single mom of two now. I hate to make you feel low about yourself but I personally have no respect for homewreckers. You should stop focusing on yourself and look at the big picture...u know, the one where there's a wife with two kids waiting for her husband to get back home...and u can picture the rest. You should cry for that woman rather than pity yourself. And you should really start respecting yourself a bit more and find you OWN man.
2006-10-27 19:21:30 · answer #2 · answered by VIP 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He simply loves his wife more than you. To be honest he probably loves his wife and loves you sucking his cock. Plus If he leaves his wife for you, he will leave you for another. Once a cheater always a cheater. He can tell you till he is blue in the face that he will leave his wife, but " action speaks louder than words". Listen, if he can pull chicks half his age and wanted to leave his wife, he would have done it a long time ago! Once you are a little older he probably wont want you anymore and he will have to find another dumb young girl. Do you ever imagine him as your father? Creepy. Does he ever ask you whos your daddy? Grow up, wise up and find a single man , preferably one closer to your age who respects you. This old guy obviously doesnt. Hey I have an idea, he probably has a son your age. Sorry, to be so harsh, but if you dont end this behavior now, you will deserve the misery that will follow you the rest of your life.
2016-03-28 09:51:51 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's women like you that make the rest of us look bad.YOU know dam right well what your doing is wrong . If his wife finds out about you watch how fast he drops you.Don't you know you are just a play thing for him.If you are pregnant by him I bet he'll deny it's his.You better wake up and smell the coffee you say your afraid of loosing him you ain't got him to lose he belongs to his wife don't forget that.I hate women like you because you don't think your doing anything wrong.Remember what goes around comes around you will get payed back for the wrong your doing now if not you then the baby you think your carrying. Shame on you and him both for hurting someone who is siting at home waiting for his return and his love. I hope to GOD she never finds out about the two of you she doesn't deserve the pain . But you do!
2006-10-27 19:43:22 · answer #4 · answered by Teenie 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You're in the army? Having sex with a married man and might be pregnant? Must not be enough war to keep you doing your job? It's not love it's lust, and believe me it is for him too. He isn't with his wife right now and your willling, what did you expect. You should have enough respect for your self to use protection, thats just plain stupidity not to . You are gonna mess up his family life, your life and possibly an innocent child. You need to think with your head instead of your hormones. Break it off if you have any self pride.
2006-10-27 19:15:02 · answer #5 · answered by luluhinalbwi 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You should have thought about the outcome when you slept with him. By the way, just to let you know? You're just a play thing for him. He will NOT leave his wife for you even IF the pregnancy turned out positive.
His wife ain't gonna know? Yeah right, like all affairs, the spouse ends up finding out, one way or the other. He needs to get real in his Marriage or get out, that's just the bottom line.
2006-10-27 19:32:01 · answer #6 · answered by Smahteepanties 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
All the single guys in the army and you go for him??- you want to screw up his life- his wife and 2 kids- ???? What no birth control?? the army taught you better than that- PLease!! If pregnant- give the baby up for adoption and do a little damage as possible- you both should be ashamed- D
2006-10-27 19:12:46 · answer #7 · answered by Debby B 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are a loser, and I mean that with every ounce of my being, I am sorry but how the hell do you sleep with a married man? Did you ever stop and think of his poor wife that is at home thinking of him and the day that he comes home to her and the kids, or maybe she stresses out that HER HUSBAND may be killed out there and she will be alone, and how dare HE to allow this to happen you both deserve what you get, and If you are pregnant shame on you for not using protection. Give me a break this is NOT about YOU it is about that mans wife that is waiting for him to get home. YOU are a disgrace to all of us woman. SHAME ON YOU
2006-10-27 19:14:57 · answer #8 · answered by melissa052572 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You need to leave him alone, god he is married, and You will have to take your own responsiability for any pregnancy that might result!! Why do all these people in the world insist on messing around? I feel for the wife, god to think the man she loves is being good and all, but actually messing around with You, I'm sorry, but women who mess with another womans man, are heartless! I'm not trying to be mean, but My guy is messing around on me and it sure dosn't feel good knowing that he is, So I feel for the wife, and that poor child you might be carrying, have you never heard of birth controll?
2006-10-27 19:29:26 · answer #9 · answered by brandy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well first of all he is married! how would you honestly feel if you was the one married and you found out that your man slept with another women while you was out to sea or whatever and got her pregnant??? you would want to divorce hI'm right away right? i don't believe in being unfaithful to your spouse, not only is it hurting him/her it is also hurting the children that him/her may have at home. no one thinks of the children they only think of themselves, and i think that is pretty pathetic. im not being rude or anything just stating things in my own opinion, you should think before you do, your family should always come first before anything. neither one of you, thought anything, just what you all wanted to between just you and him. as for you being pregnant that is something that you and him are going to have to figure out because that was something you should have thought about before you all even decided to have this affair. good luck!
2006-10-27 19:13:46 · answer #10 · answered by sweetheart 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋