The guy I am dating kind of use his son as execuse when I asked him to get together sometime. How can you tell he is really busy/tied up or just playing games (his son is 12 year old) and last night when I text msg him to have dinner for tonight he got back to me 4 hours later and says "I am taking my son to a movie tomorrow at 7 u could always come if u wish" I found it a bit to reluctant so I declined. How can I tell he is serious. should I just wait for him for the next move and not text msg him any more? Please help
2006-10-27 18:16:20 · 12 answers · asked by 1001Questions 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yeah, a guy will come to you if he is interested. If you pressure a guy, it's as good as pushing him away. I don't know if it's a game he's playing much more than his way of avoiding you.
I have to admit, if he's spending time with his son, that's a great thing to do. But if he's not, and only using that as an excuse (I must admit, that's a great excuse because what are you going to say to that? No, you can't spend time with your son?), that is so wrong to use his son that way.
2006-10-27 18:22:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, you don't want to turn around and start playing games. "I won't call or write unless he does." But you do need to use your intuition, and if he's feeling reluctant, it's probably appropriate to give him some room.
What I can say, from being a dad, is that I darn well HOPE I'd be spending plenty of time with my boys, even if I were single again through life circumstances. So it would be a very legitimate excuse. And I imagine that I wouldn't always want to do that with someone I was interested in, because I would have to give the boys some adjustment time to someone new in my life. I couldn't stop giving them individual attention.
Of course there are a lot of details you haven't covered, including how long you've been with him and whether the kids have already had time to adjust. So I submit my thoughts in case they can help with a small part of the puzzle.
Oh ... and talking about things works too. Just so you know, the assumptions that women make by analyzing a simple situation to death is something that can drive an honest guy nuts. So ... is he an honest guy?
2006-10-27 18:23:51 · answer #2 · answered by SteveMc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He cares about his son. That is important in a man. Some men brush off their children for their own needs,,, I would say that shows he cares.
Now if he isn't sharing his time with you at all or rarely - You need to talk to him or find your own "things to do". If you are always competing for time with him. You 2 NEED to TALK!
Sometimes MEN are oblivious to any and all hints and it would be better not to continue reading into his actions and let him know what you need from him and what you can compromise on, Give and take is the only way you can work with this type of relationship- but don't sell yourself short. Put yourself first when he's not around - And when he's there great when he's not YOUR BUSY!
2006-10-27 18:25:11 · answer #3 · answered by M C 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think he was telling you hes serious hun! Most people with children will not just allow anyone around their kids. And if you are serious about him then you've got to get to not only him but his son as well. Trust me its like a 2 for 1 bonus you get to spend time with the guy you like and in doing that probably get to know a really wonderful kid. And I bet if your willing to make time for the 2 of them he'd be more willing for the 2 of you to have some quality alone time!
2006-10-27 18:24:02 · answer #4 · answered by btsnpieces 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you are the one who is reluctant he invited you to do something with him and his son you refused he sounds like he maybe a good father and you are seeing the son as competition for him are you looking for a party or a serious relationship you better make up your mind if this guy is for real you won't find him at the bar telling some dumb bimbo my wife doesn't understand me or pick him up at the local jail caught in a hooker sweep get a life if you want him you will have to accept and learn to love his son too think of it this way HIS SON IS A PART OF HIM maybe you have been invited before and have blown him off you keep doing that and he won't be there much longer the woman I love has 4 children and can't seem to understand that I will accept them without question and treat them as if they are my own to be fair her soon to be ex is a bit of a jerk and her family life was not the best way to convince her that I will do this but I feel she is worth the effort it will take to convince her and the children are no effort at all if you can't say that go find someone without kids and quit trying to screw up this guys life
2006-10-27 18:38:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Uh, yeah don't text message, uh um, this playa any more. Next time you see him, stick him in the gut, or better yet knee him in his royal bag of gems, heheheh, if you know what I mean. Then throw a fit that you fond out he was cheating and that you caught him. If he is bewildered then apologize, and you know he ain't no playa. But! If he looks down in shame, well then, heheheh, he ain't nothing but a makin' cockroach on the botom end of a airplane cago crate filled with cockroach food, you know what I'm sayin? And if he gets by anyways, he won't cheat because he ain't wanna get no more knees in the his uh, tender sack.
2006-10-27 18:24:43 · answer #6 · answered by hondapride67 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Doesn't sound like this guy really cares for you that much. He may be covering up, but maybe just likes to spend a lot of time with his son. It's all up to you. If you feel that he may be cheating, or doesn't like you, end the relationship. If you really like him, wait and see if he really like you. Do what you think is right, what your heart tells you.
2006-10-27 18:21:28 · answer #7 · answered by sportzgurl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am not quite sure, i grew up with six brothers and i guess it just depends on the guy. if he does this everytime u try to make plans maybe hes not intrested and doesnt want tot hurt u but maybe try to make plans with him for next friday or sometime in the near (but not to near) future to make sure he hasn't planned anything with his son and if he declines, hes not intrested but, befor u bag him, tell him how u feel. maybe even before u try to make plans with him.
2006-10-27 18:24:38 · answer #8 · answered by dramahotty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a gut instinct, use it. I think you've already answered your own question, obviously you're not #1 to him. Let him make the next move, and it had better be pretty spectacular or I'd find better things to worry about. Good Luck
2006-10-27 18:24:13 · answer #9 · answered by luluhinalbwi 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's hard to tell if people are playing games, unfortunately.
The defining essence of being good at games is being good at seeming like you're not playing games!
2006-10-27 18:21:50 · answer #10 · answered by A Box of Signs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋