Me and my husband babysit another family members kids nearly everyday.I love them and all but their mom will ask us to babysit so she can go places and says she doesn't know when she'll be back.when I ask her to watch mine she sets us on a time limit to be back.It fustrates me because I don't think it's very fair.My husband watches her kids regardless cuz their his neice & newphew and it's the right thing to do.I think we could watch them on our time not hers.But he doesn't want to start a family riot and doesn't bother him.How do I go about this issue without making my husband & his family mad at me? Because me & my husband don't get to go out just the two of us without our kids.But we watch her kids for her & her friends to go out every other nite.
2006-10-27 18:08:06 · 13 answers · asked by jentoxic06 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
next time she asks you to watch the kids say you already have plans. then if she wants you to watch the kids some other time so she can go to town tell her you need her back by "such & such" time because you want to have your own family time for the evening or that you have plans with your husband that does not involve kids. ask her to keep your kids and if she says no because she has plan then refuse to keep her next time she asks you to. turn about is fair play. whats good for the goose is good for the gander. eye for and eye sort of thing. thats not being mean or trying to start any disagreements its claiming your family time, standing your ground, dont let them walk all over you or they will never stop doing it. you need to just tell them like it is and if they get mad oh well, they were using you to begin with. family or not, it doesnt make it right to do that to anyone. or maybe you can start charging her for you and your husbands babysitting services, sh'd have to pay if she took them else where, right?
2006-10-27 18:17:49 · answer #1 · answered by Help Me Help You 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like a family problem with issues rooted deep within. You are obviously, feeling unfulfilled and discounted by the whole problem. What I would do, is talk the whole thing out with my husband. You and your family's needs come FIRST - that includes emotional, physical and spiritual. Next comes the needs of both, his nieces and nephews - only after your family has their needs met. Tell your husband to talk with the mother of the other family about coming and going as she pleases and expecting you to be at her beckon call. You and your husband need time together on a daily basis to nurture your relationship and that of your children's ! Don't put up with playing "second fiddle" to the other side of the family. Your marriage and your children's stability depend upon it. - It's just that important. Good luck to you !!!
2006-10-28 01:26:25 · answer #2 · answered by guraqt2me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how about this... forget about what is fair. find yourself a trustworthy person to babysit your kids and make the time to go out with your man. This will not only get you two "responsible" parents some alone time, but it will leave your sister in law with no sitter. Once SHE finds out you two are out on the town, SHE will begin to wonder and SHE will bring it up. That will be the perfect opurtunity to discuss the issue. Maybe then she will listen cause she will feel the absence of her freedom she so takes advantage of. Good luck.
2006-10-28 02:12:17 · answer #3 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy that's a hard one Try sitting down with your husband and explaining how you feel, and how you would love to be able to go out with out your children once in a while with out having a time limit. that you think that if you can watch there children then why can't they do the same thing after all your kids are there niece and nephews to
I wish you good luck and May God be with you
2006-10-28 02:09:13 · answer #4 · answered by jan d 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think both families need to sit down and set some rules! Like since they put a time for you to get your kids, You should be able to set a time also. Make everything even. It sounds like she's just taking advantage of you guys. Sometimes you want your own time with your family or just you and your husband! I also think you should tell her your busy and you can't do it! She need to know that you have a life with your own husband and family. He doesn't need to watch them everytime she wants to go out! Talk to her about it and see how it goes. Mean what you say when you say it! Don't let people (even family) walk over you or take advantage of you and your time!
2006-10-28 01:14:34 · answer #5 · answered by Black Betty 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Same thing happened to me!! Just tell her the same things she tells you. "I'm going to bed early tonight and I have to get up early in the morning- you've gotta be here to pick them up by 9" "Oh and by the way can you watch mine tomorrow so that I don't have to drag them along? Great I'll be by at noon!" I was a telemarketer so I know how to "assume" something is gonna happen and people don't know what to say back if you quickly close the conversation. :) God I hate me sometimes. LOL. Anyhow that oughtta work and if she isn't back by 9- tell her you just can't watch her kids again if she can't follow through.
2006-10-28 01:29:49 · answer #6 · answered by momofthreemiracles 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Accept the fact of not going outside without your own kids.This will be a problem only for few yrs.Always take your kids with you that way other people will feel guilty of making their babies stay with you.Going out with your kids will give you a nice family time too and your children will respect you for that in early yrs. You still have a whole life to go out alone with your husband.It seems you are an indian from your problem... any ways best luck.
2006-10-28 01:19:11 · answer #7 · answered by kirtik 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would kindly confront her. Tell her that you don't mind watching her kids, but you can't do it all the time and you need to know how long she plans to be gone and it has to fit into your schedule. You should be forced to babysit for her children.
2006-10-28 01:12:18 · answer #8 · answered by Erin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. Tell her exactly what you wrote here. The only way she'll know is if you tell her. Set time limits for her, and tell her that this is serious business.
2006-10-28 01:11:22 · answer #9 · answered by sportzgurl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell her and your husband how you feel.Then tell your husband that you have to talk and let them know about things that are bother you.
2006-10-28 01:28:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋