I need to find strength to walk away.?

Question

The Basics: I've been with this guy for almost three years. I've been 100% faithful, he has not. There's always another girl popping up here and there...on top of that, he's broken up with me so often, yet now I am the one getting fed up. I am not here bec. of love, I'm here bec. it seems "easier" to stay than to face things alone...I want to walk away. I just don't know when I'm going to (if I ever will) get fed up. I know the stuff he pulls isn't ok, yet I can't make myself leave. I've cried too much, been lied to more times than I can count...I wanna get out. I just feel so scared. I know I am attractive and that I deserve the best. Everyone deserves the best. I don't want to hurt anyone...Any comments/ideas?

Answer 1

Although this is not a rule, the best way to fight an emotion is with another emotion. Sometimes a rebound fling isn't always a bad idea, or find some other thing that can have an equally emotional effect on you. Alternatively, try meditation, no seriously. Meditation is often a way to get us to do those things that we know we ought to but still don't .

Answer 2

This is going to be a HUGE comment because I am going to copy and paste from a blog I wrote on a different site about 2 months ago when I was leaving my husband. The song that played with the blog was Terry Clark "Im alright"

I wrote this right after I made the decision to leave him and I had been making the plans to move.

I hope this helps. I am posting the link to my profile where I do the blogging you are more then welcome to read more if you would like...you can see how in such a short time I have become a better stronger person....

Ok...here it is...

"

I had a dream last night. My dog gave birth to a bunch of baby magpies that were hatching out of their eggs. The eggs were all in a big zip lock bag.

Ok so I am not sure what my male dog was doing giving birth…but I do know the birthing, and the hatching, signifies a rebirth. A new beginning.

I am going to be alright.

I know that there are a lot of women on this site, registered and not registered, who have been reading my blogs. These women are in not so happy/healthy relationships. To them, I seem like Wonder Woman because I am standing up for myself and making myself happy.

The truth is ladies, I am not Wonder Woman. I am Batwoman…but that is beside the point.
I am not really a super hero; I do not possess super powers. There is nothing in me, that makes me more determined, more courageous, or in anyway, shape or form, stronger then any of you!

I have been where you are, I have felt that stuck, unhappy, unsure feeling! I have felt scared, I am scared now!

The only difference between you and I is I have had enough.

Soon you will have enough as well. And when you do, it will be a scary scary feeling, but it will be a good feeling. A free feeling. A YOU feeling.


Song Lyrics to go by...



After all was said and done
There was nothing left to do
The hardest mile I ever walked
Was the one I walked away form you
So maybe I'm a little ragged around the edges
And I've been keeping a little more to myself these days but


I'm alright
Shot down but I'm still standing
I'm alright
A little banged up from the fall
But I'm alright
Still shaky from the landing
I'm alright, after all

You know it's really not that bad
No matter how bad it might feel
Cause there ain't nothing time won't fix
This ain't nothing that some time won't heal
So maybe I've been walking a little wounded
I move a little bit slower not but that's okay 'cause...

I'm alright
Shot down but I'm still standing
I'm alright
A little banged up from the fall
But I'm alright
Still shaky from the landing
I'm alright, after all

And every now and then I think about you
Oh, every now and then I cross the line

I'm alright
Shot down but I'm still standing
I'm alright
A little banged up from the fall
But I'm alright
Still shaky from the landing
I'm alright, after all

I'm alright, after all












I am going to be alright, I am going to be ok. I am going to be BETTER then I am now! BETTER then I have been!
I already feel stronger, I already feel better…
So to those ladies, who think that I am stronger then you, you wish you could be like me, you look up to me, you think I am writing out how you feel…
Stop and think.

The only difference between you and I…is time, and patience.

Time is up for me, my patience is out.

It is time I do something about it. "

I hope this helps, or at least give you a bit of inspiration. Its not easier to stay...its just that it is only what you know.

Answer 3

Sounds like you're in a pretty tough situation. You have to find the strength within you to be able to walk away. The only thing i can do is encourage you to speak up. Tell him everything you just wrote here, tell him that you're fed up with the relationship. And tell him that you're breaking up with him. You might hurt him, but he obviously doesn't care about you enough. He might start saying things like "i'll never do that again" or something like that, but don't fall for it because he won't change. Just find the strength within you. Good Luck girl

Answer 4

Girl please I been there before. I just had enough and i just walked out. All his numbers i deleted from my phone and replaced by my other friends numbers. Kept myself busy being with other people! Looked at all the hurt I went through and saw the pain I would go through just staying with a person like him! It hurt so bad i could never call him! IF he calls you block that number or have a guy friend pick it up! You would need sometime after you leave him to yourself! So take sometime off and get into something you havent done in a long time. Do something that makes you happy, No matter what it is!

Answer 5

Every time you are seen with this guy you're with who mistreats you, and whom you do not love, you break the heart of a man who is more like what you are looking for.
He doesn't know that you don't love the guy you're with; he thinks you chose the guy you're with because you like the guy better than him!
So he's not going to come and rescue you, when he feels like there's something that makes him worse in your eyes than the guy you're with.

He probably wants a woman who could walk away for herself, but if you can't walk away NOW for yourself, then turn off the computer and pack your bags (give the 10 points from your sister's or mother's or friend's house!), and walk away NOW, for the man whom you will someday meet and love!

Answer 6

Get past the fear by finding someone to help you. Not a guy. Someone to give you shelter and a shoulder to lean on while you let go of him.
He could give you diseases from these girls that will cripple you life forever- so the sooner you leave the less likely he is to transmit them to you.
He is NOT your solution he is your biggest problem. Leave while you can before something comes up and you find yourself with more excuses not to go.
You do deserve the best- no matter what anyone says.
Find stability first and then go so you don't end up back with him.
GOOD LUCK- YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!

Answer 7

Find a true friend to be accountable with and whom you trust can walk you through this period. Determine to walk on and not look back. I've done it. So can you. My motto is:

Do you want to pull through this hell now so that you can enjoy long-term fulfillment and happiness with someone who deserves you more in the future and live happily after?

OR

Do you want to whine and whine and say it's too hard and let yourself just be stuck here forever...and ever...and ever...and ever?

Dont rob yourself of true meaning of life and living. The world is big. Go out and enjoy yourself :)

Answer 8

Girl...It seems all to familiar to me also. I think the best thing for you to do is just to somehow find the strength to do it, no one can do it but yourself. If he treats you like that, thats horrible. you deserve so much better than that...right. I had a situation like that and I found the best way to go was to pray about it and ask for the strength and courage to do what you need to do for yourself. You still need to put yourself before anyone who doesn't respect you, okay? Good luck and stay strong girl

Answer 9

I often meet women like yourself, I am often reminded of this poem by Maya, Sweetie, love yourself, often times you let your self esteem be affected, becasue thats what this man attacks, you say its easier to stay, but sweetie no its not, because your heart is broken, you are on an emotional rollercoaster ride, imagine how good life would be without all the heartache and pain, to wake up each day with joy in your life, make tommorow and each day the first day of your life, allow to let your light shine, and their will be no darkness, Imagine finding a man that will love and cheerish you and place you as the Queen in his life, you are not alone, because God is always with you, you feel scared I know, but I would rather face the fear of being alone than the to face the pain this man will cause you if you continue to stay with him, so sweetie stop your crying, spread your wings and fly, Dont feel you deserve the best, demand the best, take care write if you feel alone

God Bless
Kalela

Phenomenal Woman


Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Maya Angelou

Answer 10

If you have strong feelings for this person than you should hang around untile you meet someone that you find hot enough to start a new relationship, and hopefuly this will give you the strength that you need to walk.