i am a girl of 15 and my best friend is a guy. we share everything with eachother and help eachother to get out of any prolblem. the problem is my parents dont like him at all and they have completely misunderstood him. thry think he is not a good guy and keeps on following me everywhere i go bu i know thats not true, he like to be with me and even i like to be with him. my parents have asked me to break friendship with him. what do i do now or how do i confront my friend, should i break my friendship?
2006-10-27 16:47:57 · 22 answers · asked by PS 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
nooo. no no no NO!! dont break a good friendshiplike that. Even if yout parents dont like him. Get your parents to know him better. Invite him over for dinner? ok if you dont want to do that at all follow my steps. Get to your mom or dad when they are calm, relaxed and not doing anything at all! talk to them about the situation and tell them about him. how your friendship is with him. then here what she has to say. dont get mad or sound mad because then they will get anoyed. work things out with your parents.
2006-10-27 16:54:29 · answer #1 · answered by Gabriela 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you're parents don't like him for one of two reasons:
1. He really is bad news and they see something that you don't and can't because you're too close to him.
2. They feel over-protective about their 15 year old girl spending so much time with a boy.
My suggestion is to not confront your friend, but first try to have an open conversation with your parents. Ask them to understand that you really care about your friend and it hurts you that they don't see the good that you see in him. See if they will be honest with you about what they don't like and if they can offer suggestions on an appropriate way to have your friendship. Be open to what they have to say. You may learn something about your friend - but then they could also learn something about him and hopefully there will be some compromise met.
In the end, whether you want to hear it or not, you'll need to respect your parents' decision. I'm 30 years old and now I look back and see that the friends my parents didn't like were actually people that I shouldn't have been hanging out with. But me telling you this won't necessarily make this easier - you'll have to come to reason with this on your own. But at least you know that you aren't the only one going through it.
If the decision still stands from your parents after an open conversation, then you need to ask their help in talking to your friend. They've dictated to discontinue the friendship, so they need to follow through with some support of some kind and not dump this kind of thing in your lap.
Show them this question and show them the responses. I'm sure I'm not the only one with some insight to the situation.
Good luck.
2006-10-27 16:56:34 · answer #2 · answered by Stella Bing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He seems the harmless type, so why do your parents think bad about him? Are you too obsessed with your friend? Is it harming your studies? Then you must put a brake on things.
A young girl as you moving around with a guy in tow is still frowned upon by Indian society at large. Your parents are perhaps concious of this fact and hence want you to break the friendship.
The problem is that you are still too young and have to live with your parents for some time now. Parents are worldly wise too. But if your friend is really nice, as you think, it would be your loss to break with him. Some middle of the path strategy must be devised whereby your parents don't complain too much and the friendship remains intact. My advice: Go slow with the friendship.
2006-10-27 17:33:07 · answer #3 · answered by Modest 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Few things for you to consider before you come to your question.
1) How is your relationship with your parents? Do you believe that they love you? Or you think they wont understand you?
2) Do you honour your parents and win their trust?
3) Are you really sure the guy is your best friend and not boyfriend? Why don't you have girls that are your best friends?
I am not trying to answer a question with more questions. I do think that you will soon have your own answers. Why? Cause I trust that you are a good girl.
First prove yourself to your mom and dad. You sometimes feel that your parents are too old to understand u. But 1 thing for sure they love you and dont want to see you hurt. They want to protect you.
2nd, we who are in relationship are kind of "blind", people outside the relationship will see through better :). We may deny it but it is true.
3rd, if you only consider him as best friend. Then start by not being with him too much, real friendship can stand the test of time & distant. Right? This will win your parents over. Win their trust.
4th draw the line with your friend and see his reaction. You never know if he really thinks that you are his best friend or girl friend. Maybe your parents already see that.
Stop for now. Take care. :)
2006-10-27 17:02:57 · answer #4 · answered by Robin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
friends are important but parents are more important at your age. if your parents are open with you and always support you in what you do without imposing many restrictions, it means this is the first serious restriction from them and they may have a reason. but it is unwise to break a friendship just because someone says you have to, so try to take some distance from this guy and see him with your parents' eyes. you may discreetly ask other people for their opinions about him- people of different ages.
maybe you spend a lot of time with this guy but not in your parents' presence- and they get alarmed not knowing what you really do there with him. maybe if he comes over your parents will find him harmless because they are around so nothing bad can happen.
I know from personal experience that sometimes boys can be better friends than girls to a girl- they are more straightaway and don't gossip. try to tell asecret to this guy- something that seems vital to you but is not- and see if other people find out from him; if it's so, then he wants something else from you!
the best thing to do, however, is to talk to your parents openly and calmly about the situation. try to understand their point of view and explain your point of view to them too.
good luck
2006-10-27 18:07:03 · answer #5 · answered by monica06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey ur too young to decide what is right & what is wrong , first make sure that why ur parents dont like that guy, then check are ur parents right. at this age not only this guy any guy came across u, become ur friend u will feel for them, so just listen to ur parents. if that guy loves u then he will wait for u,he will understand the whole situation,u just have friendship with him not deep friendship , but a normal friendship. that will give u chance to know him.
bye.
2006-10-27 17:43:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
parents sometimes do not see what we do. It is not fair for them to tell you to break it off. To me they lack trust in your judgement. At Fifteen you should be allowed a little bit of lee way in your own decisions. It is hard to find a good friend male or female and they should not interfer with this. If they trusted you they would understand why it is you have a male friend. You should discuss this with him just so that he is not caught off guard should something be said. If there is nothing being done wrong than why would they put you in this position at all. Maybe they see alarms going off that you dont. Romantically for example.Is he paying special attention to you that you dont see . A stupid question, maybe!! Why dont they like it. Can they give you a good reason other than he is male. If you have done nothing wrong I dont see any problems. Maybe avoid bringing him around as often and they will quit bothering you. If you feel it is a good friendship then I would continue it and they would have to realise that it makes you happy and maybe they will come around. It is your friendship not theirs and everybody is entitled to there opinion. But they are not entitled to force theirs on you. If in your judgement you think it is good for you then you should do what will make you happy and they should support you in your choices good or bad!!
2006-10-27 17:06:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I read someones comment saying you should side with your parents because they'll always be looking out for you.
Anyways heres my view... yes your parents will definately be looking out for you but if you don't give this guy a chance because your parents said so you'll wonder what would've happened for the rest of your life and if you're future relationship is a bad one you'll just blame your parents. In my opinion I'd rather get hurt making a mistake of being with the wrong person and fixing it later on then never even giving it a chacne and dwelling on it.
2006-10-27 17:03:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think you are falling in love with ur friend by the way of friendship
it is simple logic in this situation, because your age is like that
continue the friendship with him, and don't make any confronts with your parents, because, parents are the real people to trust the person anywhere of the world. so, parents are important to your life, if u fell in anyproblems your friend either come or not
your parents will be there defnitely, so as your brother i am telling you from india. do it will make your life better. bye see you again .
2006-10-27 17:16:20 · answer #9 · answered by an indian 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You parents have something that you don't have, and that's
experience. At the very least, you should try to understand
why they feel the way they do about your friend.
At least until you are an adult, it is wise to listen to your parents.
They are the only ones that will be responsible for you. Friends
come and go, but your parents are there as long as they live.
Appreciate what your have.
2006-10-27 16:53:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋