2006-10-27 16:43:40 · 6 answers · asked by Kristy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The question isn't wether you should leave your boyfriend, the real question is wether you are confident enough in yourself to have a "boyfriend." It is all too often the case that a relationship be predicated on a mutial respect and independent confidence. It seems, from the question, that you are not quite sure of your male friend's place in your life or his absolute loyalty to you. If his ex wife is still in his life because of their children, and not tempting an on again off again relationship then you should have enough confidence in your position with him and enough trust in him to govern your relationship accordingly. Place your insecurities aside, if he's free of her and you're free from another. But use your head and don't be a "security blanket" for him while he's waiting on things to get better with his ex. If the baggage you speak of is a constant or intermittant (sic) comparison of the two of you or a frequent conversation that brings up her name, you should "with a quickness" get out his life and get him out of yours.
Please be mindful that life is too short and death is too long to compromise yourself, and your passions in a relationship with someone, to settle for second place in their heart, mind, and soul. If you're in love with someone and they claim to love you, as much, then the clear understanding of love at it's most basic premise is a singlemindedness to be committed to one another; forsaking all others (or does that just define monogamy?)
However, you must be mindful that this individual must be completely over his ex wife in every aspect before you will ever get his full attention. ...And I do mean completely.
please don't let your hearts desire overide your common sense about being involved with anyone. The most unfortunate untruth our emotional hearts tell us is that we "don't want to live our lives alone", "without this person", and that we'll "never find another person" so much "like this one who we can love and who will inturn love us back"; what a lie!
If it's your (our) home and your boyfriend has no offspring with this woman, then there's no real reason why she should be calling your home nor should he have any reason to allow her to call him; if he really cares for you and is committed to your relationship.
The unfortunate issues of modern day culture is the blended families that are in clear opposition to the truth of God's word. No matter where you are in your spiritual walk be a student of truth or a plain hedonist, the truth cannot be avoided; as it affects us all.
If the man has no children with the woman either make him yours or get out of your life and go back to her. If he has children with her then you get out of their life and wait until you find one you can truly make your own.
A man committed will cleave to you all the days of your life; love, honor, cherish, and be longsuffering, through thick and thin, richer or poorer, through sickness and health, denying ALL others...
Well you get the picture of my response by now. a relationship built on sand will not stand, but built upon a rock of truth has no victor over it.
2006-10-27 17:28:59 · answer #1 · answered by 7njay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are there kids involved?
If not, there may be guilt left in how it was ended. Is he really divorced?
If the contact is just emotional or needy, then this is a valid issue. If they share people or assets then they do need to talk but, perhaps they can limit communication to email.
Tell your boyfriend about how you feel and ask him how he feels. See what is underlying this interaction. If, after you have explored the details of the communication, you still can't abide it, then decide that you will leave if it doesn't end.
Then, leave if it doesn't end.
2006-10-27 16:48:44 · answer #2 · answered by anirbas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are the calls related to the children? If so, that will be baggage that you and he will have to carry.
If not, then if he loves you and does not want to lose you then he will bring it to an end. They should not have anything to discuss.
Talk to him about your feelings.
2006-10-27 16:50:27 · answer #3 · answered by Bubbles 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A warning! O.ok. no longer in easy terms might I be after the ex and the scumbag boyfriend, yet i may be after the police branch too. seem you should carry your self right down to the police branch and tell the supervisors supervisor that ought to any injury come on your infants they are going to be SUED for this would properly be a intense criminal depend. have you ever called CPS? they should bypass out and look into. i does no longer provide up until my infants have been in a secure environment era. in case you have already got joint custody you be responsive to you are able to call the police and ask them to fulfill you on the ex's homestead and request the their upload to do away with the infants on the same time as your ex is being overwhelmed, abused, etc and this all has to bypass on checklist. Hon I went by way of this myself, even right down to the restraining order I DID have on the daddy of my new child and yet he used his mothers and dads to get around this and that i went by way of hell to instruct that his mothers and dads have been attempting for visitation rights for there son. you should do all you are able to for once you eventually get in front of a choose he /she is going to invite you in case you probably did each and every thing you in all hazard ought to to get your infants and or to maintain them secure. If no longer the choose will think of you're merely being vindictive or jealous be sure. Yeah I had a choose inquire from me the comparable form of questions, fairly flipping infuriating thinking it became the courtroom that placed my infants in hazard by way of granting the grandparents of the abusive father visitation rights. keep a concise checklist of all events and be damn beneficial you enable your infants be responsive to to call you the minute ANY form of abuse is occurring in direction of them or their mom and then intense tail it over there to get them with the police (individually i might bypass without the police and that i might take a digital camera). long confusing emotional highway Hon maximum suitable of needs!
2016-12-08 22:51:40 · answer #4 · answered by parenti 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorcing a person doesn't necessarily mean that you cut them completely out of your life. Take a look at how he treats her, & then ask yourself. Would I rather be in a relationship with a man who treats his ex with respect, or with one who treats her like sh*t?
Obviously you don't feel secure in your relationship with this man. Maybe you should be asking yourself why, before you start thinking about leaving him over such a petty issue.
2006-10-27 16:57:36 · answer #5 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, if you really love him dont, just tell him it bothers you, ask him if he would want your ex calling you.Leaving him is not the best choice if you really love him.
2006-10-27 16:49:29 · answer #6 · answered by abelssexywifey 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋