What is wrong with me?

Question

I can not decide if I should continue working from home or if I should get a job outside the house. This has been going on for a year now. I search the want ad's, go for the interview and change my mind. In addition to that, I will go to the grocery store fill up my cart and decide I have spent too much money and leave it. I make doctor appointments and decide that I don't need them. I can not get myself to call. I just don't show up. I have tried desperately to get out of family reunions and holiday occasions. I stopped answering the phone and I let everything go to voicemail. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and have been taking 100 mg of Zoloft for the past few years. I take this for panic attacks. Now that I have been working from home, I find that I feel very uncomfortable being around people and I am always looking for excuses to stay home. I am so confused and I am so depressed. I hate the person that i have become. What is wrong with me?

Answer 1

Apparently your meds are not beneficial as originally intended. Why don't you call the doctor that prescribed them and see what he/she has to say. Being depressed while on meds is pretty suggestive you are either on the wrong meds or need the dosage changed.

Answer 2

Wow some of these people's answers were pretty rude...ignore them. Anyway, I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. That must be so difficult. I too have depression and anxiety, and take Zoloft. I recently went to my therapist and she raised my dose to 200 mg (up from 100 mg)/day, b/c since having my baby girl (nearly 5 months ago), the depression has gotten worse. It sounds to me that you, however, have some level of social anxiety disorder (not just generalized anxiety). Do you get nervous and uncomfortable in crowds? Do you get dizzy, sweaty, light-headed, and start panicking? (I've had these a couple times, too.) I think that probably the best thing would be to go back to your doctor who prescribed the Zoloft and tell him or her that it's not working. Describe to them what you've said on here. I know it's hard to go and do this, but you absolutely must, if you want to regain control of your life. You have three girls to raise and I know you want to be there for them and be the mom that they need...think of it this way: this is not just for you--this is for your family. Even if it scares you to go out in public and take that step of faith, you must, b/c it's not just about you. It's about those who love you. When you don't go to your doctor's appointments, and don't do the things that need to be done to help you, you're hurting not only yourself but also your friends and loved ones. Not trying to lecture; just telling you what I know from experience. It took me years to finally get my rear end into therapy (I have stuff from my past that also contributes to my depression and anxiety), but since I have, it has helped tremendously. A year ago I couldn't have handled being a new mom, not the way I'm able to now. But anyway, you can do this. Don't just sit there and suffer. Get the right help that you need. Go to a different doctor if the one you have now isn't helping. A psychotherapist who is familiar with anxiety symptoms will be able to pinpoint your problems, probably immediately, when you tell them your symptoms, and give you the right medication. All the best, and I hope things get better for you soon. God bless!

Answer 3

You're probably under a lot of pressure and even more guilt. Take a breathe and if you can't make yourself an appointment ask someone to make it for you, and to go with you. You already have a diagnosis so all you need is a doc you trust. Take your time to find someone that has the credentials and common sense that fits. I am always a little leary of the meds because it seems once you hit 35 every doc thinks mom's need them....I would suggest a support group--you can find them through your local mental health clinic or get involved with a church to get networked with other working moms. You'll find out you are not alone. We are all overwhelmed. My last suggestion is to two fold. First, say a prayer. Second, change the question. Stop asking whats wrong with you and start asking whats right.... then build on that.

Answer 4

Definetely try getting out of the house more! The sunlight will help with the depression! It is extremely important to go outside and try to exercise maybe even just walking for 30 minutes in the morning and evening OUTSIDE will definetely help (it did for me at least). Also, if you are not allergic to animals and can afford to save an animal from a shelter such as MSPCA then do it! Not only are you helping an animal, it is proven that animals can boost a person's mood and this will also motivate you to go outside because then you are doing something good for the animal and yourself! Start off with the animals and while you are outside you might meet some nice people! The world isn't all that bad.. give it a chance you'd be suprised how much you can learn from others! Good Luck and Stay Strong!

Answer 5

First I would go see a specialist and check on your mental health. I think you are okay though.

Sometimes being alone seems like the easier choice, when in reality, it's the worst thing we can do to ourselves. It is not easy to be out all the time doing things, but if you do go out more often, you may find that you actually like it. You have to get past the feeling like an outcast part of it and meet people.

You have to register to see these, but it may or may not make a difference in your life. Ultimately though, it is your mind and your thought process that will produce the end result.

Another thing that you can do is to help others. Volunteer in different places. Sometimes working with others can make you realize that you don't have it so bad. It also gives you a great sense of worth knowing that you may be doing or saying something that could change a persons life. You can learn a lot about yourself by teaching and working with others.

There is nothing wrong with you. If you hate who you've become. Do something about it. It WILL be difficult, but it will be worth it and you CAN do it. First you have to stop feeding into the negative thoughts and just start doing. It does get easier and you can be happier. I assure you.

Answer 6

Girl, you and I are the same....although I see myself going into the things you are describing...I already have done most of them.

I took Zoloft for panic attacks, it worked but with weight gain, then effexor but with more weight gain..then I tried to get off all together. It wasn't good. The fact is, when I started the meds I had a form of agoraphobia, as in can 't drive to some places. It went away. I am now on Lexapro and am not as good as the other meds. I take Xanax and attivan as needed (daily) and swore I was never depressed.

You are not alone. No one understands and I don't even tell my husband.. I am starting a new job Monday and scared to death because I have to drive all the time everywhere.

It makes you feel worthless. I know I need a therapist and it will help, but I'm too vain, thinking I can do it myself. Email me if you want to talk.


I hear you!!!!

Answer 7

Your body and mind are out of balance. Your bodies fight or flight response has become hypersensitive due to a multitude of reasons.

1. Lack of strenuous exercise.


You must keep your body in good shape so that it can cope with stress more effectively. The bodies natural response to exercise is the same as a panic attack (rapid heart beat, sweating, quick breathing) By getting in better physical shape you will be much better at coping with stress. Recent studies have shown exercise to be more effective at relieving stress than prescription medication and therapy combined!


2. Lack of a balanced diet.

Your body most likely needs more fresh vegetables and less sugar. Drink 72 oz of water per day. Fruits are most likely your second most needed food. Processed foods should be avoided at all costs.


3. Lack of coping skills

You must confront all of your fears, one at a time. If you are afraid of people, then you must expose yourself to them at increasing rates. Eventually you should even try public speaking!
You must be ready to take control of your life immediately.

4. Breaking bad habits

If you have any compulsions or obsessions, you must stop the cycle. For example, If you bite your nails when you have anxiety, then you must clip your nails when you feel the urge.

5. Social Support

You must tell your friends and family about your problem and ask them for their support. This will makes things easier for you because you will be more likely to go to them for help if they already know what your problem is.

Answer 8

I'm not sure that Zoloft is the answer. It is used more for depression. I would suggest a combination of therapy and an anti-anxiety drug before this becomes a full blown case of a disorder which makes it impossible for you to leave your home. I would also suggest you round up a good support system..friends, family etc. Don't let this go on to long. It also sounds like you have a fear of commitment.

Answer 9

Oh Sweety, I know exactly how you feel because I am identifying a lot of what you are doing in myself.
Most of what you are feeling may be signs of depression. You may want to contact your doctor & see if you need a change in medication. I know how hard it is to make that appointment, but you have to do something about it, & you will feel better about yourself once you have taken that 1st brave step.
Don't hate yourself, just keep telling yourself that you deserve better than this, & it will give you the energy to keep trying.

Thank you for your question by the way, it's real nice to know that I am not the only one who gets this way, & I hope that by answering your question that I have returned the same feeling.
Take care of yourself.

Answer 10

(Disregard Tony G....or is it Tom Cruise? People that do not live with depression and anxiety have no idea what they are talking about.)
Many people adapt to their meds dosage and need to increase that dose after a period of time. If you've been on the same dose for a few years...this is probably what your body has done. Discuss this with your doctor. He may bump you to 150mg.of Zoloft.
You need to see a psychologist in addition to taking meds. Find one in your area who specializes in treating panic and anxiety disorders. Cognitive/Behavior therapy coupled with medication yield the best results in cases like yours.

Hang in there! You can do it.

Answer 11

Do not be hard on yourself! Go to a psychiatrist, not just a regular doctor. You might have a different diagnosis, or need your meds changed. I have dealt with depression myself and never got a proper diagnosis until I saw the right kind of doctor. Do not be ashamed either! This is an illness like diabetes, lupus,.....etc. You have to take the right blend and dose of medication.

As for going to work outside the home, focus on yourself and your family right now!