Is this too much of an age difference?

Question

I know I just asked this, but most people wanted to know the ages, so here it is again:

Is 4 years apart too big of an age difference? I'm 13 and my boyfriend is 17. He'll be 18 in March, I turned 13 in June.

For the record, I'm smarter and more mature than most people my age. Everybody says so. So we're about on the same maturity and intelligence level.

Randiradio: I'm not just saying it. Believe what you want. According to everybody that knows me, I act like I'm a lot older than my age.

Answer 1

as you get older you won't be asking this question anymore if your still with this guy.

Answer 2

An 18 year old is an adult, a 13 year old isn't. People change drastically between 13 and 18, so yes, at this point the age difference is too large. If you were 16 and he was 20 it would be more acceptable, as long as there was no sex involved until you were 18. It doesn't matter that you're "mature for your age"--EVERY 13 year old who likes an older guy says that.

Re your comment: I didn't say you were just saying it. This being always the case includes people who are perceived by others as being "mature for their age". Pedophiles say the same thing about the 10 year olds they're "with". They can't all the be the exception. I'm 4 years older than my boyfriend, and the same thing was said about him when he was 13/14, he was "mature for his age". That didn't mean it would have been a good idea for us to have a romantic relationship when he was 14 and I was 18. We were friends, but still worlds apart--just because he could have an intellectual conversation with me at the same level as a college student didn't mean understood everything about university/adult life. Remember that your friend is almost (if not already) out of high school, you're barely out of junior high, he is legally allowed to drive and hold a full-time job and you're not, all of which means he has access to life experiences that you don't and there are levels of maturity attained from adult experiences that you are not able to acquire unitl you're at least 16. Also, have you checked age of consent laws in your area? In most places it's 14 or 16. If there isn't a five-year exception, your friend could get into major trouble. Yes, kissing counts as sexual activity if it's any different from how you kiss family members. You really need to consider all these factors.

Answer 3

Those things you say about yourself may be true, but, I don't understand what an almost 18 year old adult sees in someone who's a middle school child. I'd not only say your more mature for your age, but that he's less mature. That's a flattering comment for you, but not so for him. My son is 12 and I would flip out if he were interested in someone who was 16 or 17 years old. If you were in your 20's or older, I'd say no big deal. My husband and I are 9½ years apart. BUT, I was 21 when we met and he was 30. Both of us were adults. Think about it and be careful.

Answer 4

I'm sorry, and I don't want to come across mean, but there is no reason a 17 going on 18 year old boy, should be dating a 13 year old girl, most of the time, all they do is turn you out, and expose you to things at a way too early age, then they leave you, Whats wrong with him, can't he get girls his own age, are you in 8th grade, and isn't he a senior? I'm sorry if your my sister, or my daughter, we would of chased this guy away immediately. One bit of advice, I know you feel things for him, and he's probelly really cool right now to you, but don't be in such a hurry to grow up, this guy will only steal your early teen years. also every girl that dated guys that were alot older than them when I was in HS, got pregnant, and the guy left them. thats my experience

Answer 5

Sweetie, if girls his age aren't interesting to him, there is a problem. A guy his age is only going to hurt you. Find a nice boy your age to hang out with. That is a big gap. You still have a lot to experience in life. You need to be with someone closer to your age that can understand these things. This guy has been through it and will look at you like a "baby" if you try to talk to him about how you are feeling. I am telling you this because I was 14 and going with a 18 year old. I was mature for my age too. But I got hurt badly. It will scar you for life. Please take this seriously.

Answer 6

Yes, you should still be playing with your little baby dolls and riding your little bike, not trying to have sex with a 18 years old, by the way it not only a big age difference, but it against the law. Pick a book up, stay in school and enjoy your youth and gone by much to fast little grown a z z girl.

Answer 7

yeah for a high school its too young becaus at that age girls are going through different period of time and your guys is already developed fully so he might want to get "freek on" hmm i honestly think you are too young for him...if you are maybe 22 or something and he was four years older it make a lot more sence because you would have gone through some life experiences to handle and understand men. its a dangerious world out there and u be careful. OK...you might wana re-think your relationship.

Answer 8

4 years ant bad but cause your so young yeas that hes so much older cause your just going threw puperty if you were 16 or 17 then it be better with the 4 year thing

Answer 9

In terms of maturity, your age difference is too far apart. However, if you are able to make it work until you both are of legal age, more power to you.

Answer 10

Wow, you're a better person than me. I thought dating and becoming seriously involve with a man 15 years younger than me was a tiny weenie bit of an age difference.

Answer 11

Yeah, thats a little much.. If you were both over 18 it would be different because you would be more on the same level in life..