Stroke patient.?

Question

only serious answers PLEASE. My dear friend 68 yrs old suffered a hemmoridge to the left side of her brain 2 weeks ago,she is paralyised on the right side(no movement/no response) She semi smiles and nods when you talk loud and ask questions. The docs say little to no hope of recovery, the nurses point towards positive and negative, her husband can't let go yet, but the docs say morphine and comfort until life takes its course. I can't make the decision. I KNOW THAT, but she would not want to live this way or have her husband live like this in the hospital every day & night. My family is supportive, but loosing patience. Where can I get TRUE facts and help her husband do the right thing(what the docs suggest) Too much info and too many opinions are clouding the issue at hand. She has suffered infections, pneumonia, another stroke, respitory distress, cannot swallow on her own and clots in her legs sinces 2 weeks ago. Any one with advise or same stories would really be helpful right now

Answer 1

I had a similar experience with my mother who has since passed. There is a smile reflex in some (I think happily raised) people, but I think it reflects no recognition. (I would not insert a stomach tube— which I did at the time of the first stroke not knowing the outcome). People can live a long time on stomach feedings, and I wouldn't want to (and I know my mother would not have wanted to). Hospice was very helpful in caring for her. Her birthday was a few days ago (25th), and I am still reminded of her. God Bless.

Answer 2

Hello,

It is very distressing to say the least for everybody around somebody who is so seriously ill with brain hemorrhage. You write that you can't make decision. What decision do you mean?
I understand that your friend is being cared for but very, very ill but not getting better. What have the doctors told? have you talked with the social worker of the hospital? or the local stroke association?
Often in this type of situations people around want to know what is going to happen. The doctors can tell that of 100 patients so and so many die, so and so many survive longer term severely incapacitated, so and so many... but nobody can tell to which category your friend belongs.
As stroke is so common, there are many organizations and groups for both advice and support. You could look up the website below and find through their links a local organization/ group that could help you.

http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/stroke/

Maybe you should write down the questions more specifically and then decide with the family who is going to ask the doctors about them -it can be very frustrating for the personnel if 10 people are asking the same questions over and over. It might also be helpful to have more than one person present while talking to the doctor so all essential facts can be remembered.
Part of the problem is that nobody knows -will she recover from the pneumonia? will she start to communicate better? will she...? probably nobody knows -but usually the situation becomes much clearer within a few weeks, the uncertainty should not prevail for many months.
You could also look at the website of some known Stroke units at different university hospitals or ask the doctors/nurses.

Hope this helps a little
regards

mary a

Answer 3

The type of stroke you describe (hemorragic) can either be the best news or the worst news. Hemmorages tend to resorb (are absorbed). Only time will tell.
Because she is alert, she most likely would benefit from a speech pathology evaluation to determine just how much she understands, assess her swallowing, and develop a treatment plan, if appropriate. Physical and occupational therapy consults will also tell you a lot about the prognosis for improvement. Ask the neurosurgeon to refer her. You can stop talking loudly to her, unless she was hard of hearing before her stroke. This type of srtoke does NOT cause hearing loss. Instead, touch her to be sure you have her attention before you start to talk to her, and speak slowly with simple sentences. Much of the time, this sort of stroke will cause a combination of receptive and expressive aphasia (reduced ability to formulate or understand language). She will, however, still comprehend facial expression and tone of voice.
Usually, a patient with these symptoms takes a long time to improve, so placement in a nursing home, or going home with 24hr care, is necessary. She can also get all the therapy she will need in either setting. Discuss these options with her doctor and the social worker at the hospital.
She may have to stay in the hospital for a while longer, since she's got the clots in her legs, which they probably are hesitant to treat with an anticoagulant because of her cerebral hemorrage.
I'm sorry you all have to go through all of this. I know it can be devastating for the patient as well as family and friends.
Good luck.

Answer 4

My mother suffered a severe stroke in Feb. 06; she just turned 70. She too will never walk again and the only real word that comes out is 'banana' I am her youngest child and I am the only one who has accepted that my mom will live the rest of her days in a nursing home as her stroke also affected her right side and she can not take care of herself. When she first had her stroke, the doctors were talking the same way, to let nature take it's course. We were all upset, but yet we all knew that mom wouldn't want to live her life hooked up to machines to keep her alive. Being a friend of the family must be really hard to handle this sitution since you don't have any say in the matter. Be supportive and kind, yet what would your friend want? Would she want to live her life hooked up to machines? It is really hard to make those decitions for someone else that you love, but at the same time, you don't want to see that person suffer any more than what they already have.

Answer 5

My mother had a stroke 5 yrs ago aged 61. Hers hit right in the centre of her brain affecting balance and swallowing. She is now in a nursing home as she cannot walk and needs help to shower ,go to toilet get meds etc. In the nursing home many of the residents are stroke victims all with different levels of disability. My mother at first was fed by a peg or tube,she seemed to be in a world of her own and would often try to get up and walk on her own thus falling over. She did improve a little at first and we had hoped to bring her back home. She can now eat on her own,and can communicate better yet its still hard to understand her.

As for your situation your friend has suffered serious trauma to her brain. Its still very early maybe there could be a slight improvement as her swelling settles,you never know. Of course her husband cannot look after her now,but if she smiles she still has a will to live and that's most important. Maybe start looking around for a good nursing home,my mum's one is very good and they take real good care of her. Its been 5 yrs and she has watched her 2 grandchildren grow from birth. Let God decide when her time is up. Good luck to all of you. I totally understand your situation . Email me if you want to talk more.

Answer 6

Having lost my spouse 4 yrs ago, I know it is extremely hard to let that person you have spent your life with go. You should have your friend's husband speak with someone from Hospice and also to a clergy. It is not an easy decision to have to make. All you can do is just be there for your friend and her husband. Does your friend have a living will?

Your friend is one lucky lady to have a friend like you to stand beside her. My sister had a stroke and the doctors told my dad that he had better make arrangements for her boys because there was no hope for my sister but with physical therapy she is almost 100% back to normal. The doctors should have your friend on either cumidin or heprin for the clots. My husband died from a clot in his leg which a doctor over looked.

I can only say a prayer for your friend and I do hope you all find some peace.

Answer 7

It sounds like your friend is pretty bad off. Her husband is still trying to deal with the fact that the woman he loves is close to death.

There's no right or wrong amount time to take in a case like this. He needs good friends and family around him. If he's religious a clergy person may be of help. If there are children, it should be a family decision, as much as possible.

This is a difficult situation with no easy answers. Hope things work out for the best.

Answer 8

Do not give up hope. A book called Train your mind and change your brain by Sharon Begley printed in 2007 of research done by a group of scientist in 2004 in the book A man had a stroke on the left side of his brain and was paralyzed down the right side. They immobilize his good arm, which force him to use first his fingers then his hand and slowly got the use of his right side back. After 2 years follow up he was still able to comb his hair, shave, clean his teeth and cut up his food and feed himself. NOW THE INTERESTING PART IS WHEN THEY DID THE BRAIN SCAN, THE MAN HAD GROWN NEW NEURONS (BRAIN CELLS) NOT ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE BRAIN BUT ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE BRAIN. Which shows no matter how old you are, if you learn something new you can grow new neurons

Answer 9

I am sorry for your friends illness. It is very hard when someone close to us is suffering. I would not make direct suggestions to the hubby about letting his wife go, just let him talk about what the doctors are saying and try to be supportive. It is only going to be a matter of a little more time and she will leave you and him. By your family, I assume you mean your hubby and kids. I know they are trying to be supportive for you, but they miss having you around. Ask them to be patient a little longer and tell them that you love them for it.

Answer 10

Sounds like she is going through a lot in just a couple of weeks. Are the drs talking about hospice? Does ur friend know what is going on, or does she just smile and nod because someone is speaking to her?