my 4 yr old little boy afraid of dark?

Question

i need alot of suggestion what you all do if your little one is afraid
of the dark our little boy wants every light on in the house at night
time. he will cry and say i dont like night time. he says he is afraid
of monsters i tell him their are no monsters. i have a lamp in his bedroom. it dont help he want to sleep in our bedroom. need so much help i feel so bad for our little boy being so afraid.

Answer 1

Fear of dark is very common. When dealing with ANY night fears which make bedtime difficult, routine and other soothing and safety confidence building activities can help.

Help your child feel like his safety is under control.

Keep a safe house, fix things that are broken and could cause accidents. Have a first aide kit and model calmly handling cleaning up and bandaging when accidents or injuries happen. Teach safety skills like street crossing and other ways of negotiating with the world well before you would expect your child to grow into being able to do these things for himself.

Develop a bedtime procedure everyone in your family can consistently follow. Bedtime is a difficult transition for most children and having a predictable process to follow actually helps the chiild feel more "in control" although the parents are still in charge.

Before ending evening activities remind the child that the bedtime routine will begin in 10 minutes. The routine can begin with bathroom teeth brushing and changing, with the rewarding activity of reading together, prayer, singing a soothing song to follow.

The child can help choose a soft light to leave on (my daughter had a little lamp which projected daulphins swimming on the ceiling), or glowing the dark stars on the ceiling or a music box or lulliby tape/cd.

You can also help your child develop a plan for if he wakes which he will do ON HIS OWN -- maybe to put small light on and reread a favorite picture book then turn light off and get back in bed. Ultimately the goal is to help him learn how to calm and sooth his own fears -- this will build his confidence.

As far as sleeping in your bed, that's up to you. Wanting to snuggle up together and enjoy being close is healthy and time should be available to snuggle. Some families cuddle on the sofa to watch TV or read and some sleep together too.

Answer 2

Maybe he's seen something on TV that has made him afraid? I have a 10 yr old that's afraid of the dark, and has been for about 6 yrs now. I just bought a night light, allow her to sleep with a flashlight, and continually tell her that I am in the other room! Allow your child to see you check everything in there room before bed, and assure them if they need you, you are in the next room. Don't discourage them from coming to you when he is scared. Good Luck!

Answer 3

i used to do the following with my kids......
the routine is my kids and i would go in their room and check together under the bed, in the closet, and anywhere they think a monster might be hiding...then they know the monster is not there, then they get in bed, i read a book to him, then turn off the lamp and turn the night lights we had in the room, and sat with the child and calmly talk with them and then tell them that a certain object [ like your tie, or scarf are magic item that monsters are scared of and will leave the house and not come back...[when checking all the spots, wave this item around and show them see no monsters...]then leave this item close to them or on the pillow so they can reach it fast if they need it....try this every night and it should help....

Answer 4

Shucks, I was afraid of the dark until I was, um, 40. Not just ordinary dark, but when I woke up, I did not like it when it was pitch dark. If I could see dimly the room, I was fine. But, if it was for any reason as dark as a tomb when I woke in the night, those first two seconds caused a nervous reaction.

My girl was somewhat afraid of the dark, such as under the bed and in the corner. We did give her a flashlight, and I called it The Dark Killer, and showed her how it would literally kill any dark that scared her.

But, don't put the flashlight beside the bed. Put it under his pillow. Don't you know about the monsters under the bed? They will get him when he climbs out to get the light.

Answer 5

your right that there are no monsters.

i suggest that you control his sources of seeing monsters. try to stay him out of the occassion of seeing a wild, bad , creature-- change channels or dont buy a vcd/dvd influenced by monster-- you got my point right?-- NO monsters No more..

tell him also that he has to live and be grateful for night.

GOD made morning and night because, GOD allows HIS creatures to rest and sleep soundly including the birds, animals, papa and mama, his playmates, and especially him.

he is very young.. tell him he need to catch more sound sleep for him to grow, ask him that he would'y want to have a 3-4ft height all his life..and as a boy, he should be braver enough to combat his fears, like the night.. like super heroes do.. because later on, he'll be a man, and its not nice for a man to be afraid.

a monster is just a simple idea, and an invention, it is not true, emphasize that its not even strong to take him, he could throw the monster off by simply, closing his eyes and sleep, monsters are afraid of sleeping boys at night ! haha.. =)

just spend a lot of time to explain it and focus on having his full attenion on you, and make him believe you.

=) you can make it.

Answer 6

it ok that he is affraid, just don't feel so bad that he knows he is manipulating you. If he wants to sleep w/the light on let him but that should be your limit. Go through the house w/him and look in ever nook and craney so he can see that there are no monsters. Then you may tell him that the only monsters you have heard about all are nice. Tell him that he cannot sleep in your bedroom but make him feel comfortable knowing that you can hear him from your bedroom to make sure he is safe. don't let this become a big problem b/c he will just start playing you and using your guilt to his advantage

Answer 7

Im agreeing with the whole check the room for monsters thing...leave his closet open and the door to his room too...leave a night light on in the room as well as right outside his room or in the bathroom...something to illuminate the way out...he will grow out of it...if its true fear, dont minimise it but if hes manipulating you (which is very common at this age) then its like "i need a drink" "i have to pee" etc with other kids fighting to not go to bed...
lots of great ideas up there...I like the flash light for emergancies thing...remember too what he watches or sees on tv and in his life...might be the result of daily things...but night terrors are very real...just make sure thats what this is...or he WILL wind up in your bed....good luck lil guy! :)...PS the Monsters Inc movie did it for my boy too btw...

Answer 8

I would never sleep with the lights off when I was small. I also had a brother who made a hole in the wall between the closet in his room and the closet in mine, so he could make monster noises.

I eventually decided that if monsters really were there, they would have eaten me by now. I told myself that bit of logic until I went to sleep.

That was the last time I needed the lights on.

Answer 9

You have a lot of good ideas. So here is another:
Try to find a book that will help him understand. I suggest "Bed Time For Frances" .
Find out what he is "seeing". He might also have heard of a burglar. If so, secure his window and make it so he can only see out during the day. My kids were afraid after watching the news. I had to stop watching news until my kids went to bed. It will all come down to finding out "Why" he is afraid and then solving that issue.
Good luck from one Mom to another!

Answer 10

Slowly dim the light a little every week, and tell him not to be afriad and that there is no monsters. But he will insist that there is and the only method is for you to only dim the lights.

Or maybe buy him a action figure and tell him that the action figure will protect him and no monsters will dare to come near your son anymore.