Why do people stereotype teen mothers???

Question

I really hate it when people think that just because I had a baby at 17 that Im either; broke and on welfare, a dropout, lazy, and alone, and they always blame the girl. For one thing as soon as I found out I was pregnant I didnt mope around...I got into work study immediately and saved alot of money, also I am in the top of my class even with my daughter Im doing better in school than people who hardly have any responsibility. And my baby's daddy is still around I dont have to beg him to come see her or help me raise her. And I think people know that 'natural' conception takes more than one person to do, so why am I always looked down upon and not my bf, when he was f**king me too? I'll admit it is hard, but I never think of my baby as an accident; I was meant to have her. And another thing...why do people assume that b/c Im young that Im a bad mother...yes I make mistakes but so does every other parent Im tired of folks looking down on me just b/c Im not married or out of high school

Answer 1

Good for you It sounds like you have a very good life! I think you are doing a great job with your baby! Unfortunately, most teen mothers are irresponsible and don't do as well as you! That is why all the stereotypes. Sad, but true. That's why I hate stereotypes so much!

Answer 2

It is normally because a teenager, be it the girl or the guy, normally don't have the maturity level or the finances to take care of a child. What if the child was discovered to have some disorder or disease and had tons of medical bills? Most teens wouldn't have insurance or the money to cover these bills. Also many teens end up feeling like they have missed out on something, and leave the baby with family to go out parting or something. I think that a teen mother can love her child just as much as an older mom, but love is not enough to raise a child. Money is alot of it as well. As a teen a person would not normally have the education to have a really well paying job. If they choose to go to school, it still may take years to earn a good living and to be able to properly provide for a child.

Also, alot of people still feel that marriage should come before a child is born, and as a teen aparently that is not the order it happened in.

Answer 3

Hmm this is tough for me b/c I have once been guilty of thinking this way at one point in time. I had two of my best friends become teen parents and it was due to being silly, and premiscuious. It wasn't until I became a single parent at 20 that I understood that we all make mistakes. Good for you for doing your best, keep at it b/c wether you are single parent or a teen parent you WILL be judged about your morals always! What better way to prove peolpe wrong than by marrying your childs father and standing on your own and not aplogizing or regretting any decision you made.

While you hate the stereotyping it is the sad reality that teen mother s and single parents are the biggest users of the public welfare system. On the other hand, what teen in their right mind would produce a baby b/c they wanted too? Seriously? Many lack the need maturity and resources possible to give a child the life a child deserves, so this is the reason for some of the stereotyping. A few lazy asses made it bad for the mothers who are out there working trying to make a better life for their families. I am african-american so imagine the stereotypes I have gotten!

I went on to have two more kids as a single parent who are now 8, 9, and 2 and I am in college doing my thang better than those who also have no resposibility. All I can say to you (and this is my motto:)I can show you better than I can tell you!

Answer 4

I think you are just looking for compliments about how you have handled your situation in a positive way. Can you imagine if you did not have a child at an early age that you could have done better or much better.

Sure, a baby they say, is a blessing but for the most part teen mothers usually end up collecting welfare because the reality of it all is that a teen mother is not fully capable of independently supporting herself and the baby.

Sure, you are being stereotyped, because after all the cautionary counselling from teachers, parents and even pastors that you finish your education first to be at least financially viable, you took another responsibility of raising a child. In essence, you are ignoring positive advice.

It is not necessarily that you are a bad mother, you just made things more difficult for you because most adults have already experienced the financial, emotional and social realities of life. They already know how difficult it is sometimes, inspite of some good times. That is just what "LIFE" is.

Work study programs are in itself social "welfare programs", and usually teen mothers are given preferential accommodations to help them out.

I have reservations how independent you really are. Are you paying for your own apartment, paying somebody to look after your kid when you are at work, or paying for all your expenses and still have extra? What kind of work do you do? If you can do all that then, hey, I would like to know what you do for a living.
And if you are "prostituting" yourself, then there goes another stereotype.

It is really hard, isn't it? Do you know that on the average a person with a college degree makes over $24,000 or more per year than a high school graduate or dropout? Then, under those circumstances, maybe, just maybe, it will easier on you and not depend on public programs- welfare or pseudo-welfare.

Answer 5

I don't assume the mother is lazy, a drop out, or on welfare. Although a HUGE amount of children born to teen mothers do use state medical assistance. That's what its there for, children whose families otherwise could not afford medical care. Most teen mothers do end up dropping out statics don't lie. Be greatful the father is still around most young men leave and don't want the responsibility. I didnt have my child at 17 I had her at 22 right out of college and it was hard then. I still had growing up to do and a life to live and sure I missed out on alot of things being a mother and married but I also have the best gift in the world, my daughter.

I wish you the best.

Answer 6

I can't help but stereotype most people, I guess I'm born with it. I know there are ceptions in some cases and you seem like one of them. And I don't know why people point the finger at you but i point just as much to the dad if not more. Your lucky to still have the dad around, most young mom's don't (I know couple) I'm a strong believer in things happen for a reason even if at the time that's not clear. I know its hard being a mom and keep up the good work and what ever you do don't hang the baby over the railing like Michel Jackson lol :'(

Answer 7

there's no testimony without the TEST! As a Christian, I know that premarital sex is wrong. Judging others is wrong too because GOD is the only one who's opinion counts. No one is innocent in this world. But the truth is, you have a child. She is the only thing that should matter to you. It seems like she is your motivation to be a better mother & woman. There have been too many teen moms that have messed up and they give the hardworking moms a bad name. Don't think about what other people say about you or any other teen moms. They don't live in your house, they don't know what goes on. Keep your head up and just remember to ask God for His guidance.

Answer 8

I'm so sorry that people do this and they do it so often! It is a common misconception that teen mothers are irresponsible because most are. People look down on single motherhood as well. I was raised by a single mother and I came out much better than people who had both parents. I wish you the best of luck with your baby and school and everything.

Answer 9

im a 14 yr old girl and i think that people blame the girls cuz its like o the girls a slut for doing it in the first place but as we all know it takes two to make a baby i dont think that all teen mothers a neccecarly bad mothers they just chose a harder path and some of them dont care about the baby people only think about the bad mothers not the good ones like you i know i may not be the right person too be answering this but i think it is stupid for people to right away think o she has a baby at 17 she must not be taking care of it beacuse there are mothers like you who take responsibilty for what they did and prepare themselfs for the kid. and you should never think of your kid as an accident the baby is a blessing and babys are so speical they are the only people who love you for you they dont care what you look like or anything like that if you do ever think your baby was an accident look in his or hers eyes and you will see how speical that baby is and how much it loves and depends on you and how lucky you are to have it a babys love is so pure and they know if your unhappy with them i think you are an amazing person you are taking care of your baby and that is all that matters forget about what other people say there just butts they think they know you when they dont know there butt from there hole ya know i had this girl in my school who got pregnet at 14 the people treated her like dirt she felt like i was her only friend she ended up leaving the school and no one knows what happen to her i think that is the worst thing you could make fun of someone about at such a young age like they dont know they messed up i think it is stupiid all the stereotype i hope i helped you

Answer 10

Way to go! but the plain and simple fact is that most young mothers just slept around and don't love their baby. They become lazy and use that child as an excuse to not succeed in life. You're one of the select few who don't fit that stereotype. Good luck to you and your family. And I really admire that your taking care of your child and are still going to get an education so you have something to offer her in the future.