2006-10-27 15:38:08 · 45 answers · asked by Neetaa 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
When you see him in heaven...
2006-10-27 15:40:30 · answer #1 · answered by KnowhereMan 6 · 4⤊ 2⤋
I don't think a parent can every get over loosing a child no matter how old they are. I was told 2 1/2 years ago that my son who now is almost 3 would never grow up and we would be lucky if he makes it to 10. I cry often knowing that he will never get a chance to do normal everyday things and he will never get to have kids and know the joy of being a parent
2006-10-27 19:24:30 · answer #2 · answered by HPEmomofone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 50 year old dad died 6 years ago and I havent stopped crying yet.
In fact I could cry my eyes out a million times and never leak so much an ounce of the pain.
It wont ever stop hurting unfortunately.
I can say this its a phrase I came up with to describe how I get by.
"Remission is in the ability to momentarily forget."
Thats right, this memory is like a cancer and your only remission is finding the ability to momentarily forget. Keep friends near, keep hobbies plentiful, work dilligently, pre-occupy your mind. With time the knife isnt as sharp, the cut isnt as deep but it will always bleed.
I would say I am sorry to hear about this but I know you have heard a 1000 people say they are sorry to hear this, thats not what you need to hear.
My dad always said something that he was a prime example of...
"Life isnt fair"
In this case a parent should never outlive thier child.
At least at this moment you are not watching your son suffer, at this moment though you miss him you can still rest at night knowing that he is not gone, just someplace better than here and he wont be coming back here but one day you will be going there too. Live as he would want you to live. I know when I die my family will be sad and it will be the sadest part of me dying, I dont want to make them sad like that and though I dont know your son I am positive he doesnt want to be the reason you are sad as you are now. Live for him, love him but dont let this consume you, its the last thing he would of wanted. (Though much easier said than done)
Once a year maybe twice, cherish, remember and honer him with some sort of memorial but not every day. You do this everyday and you will break his heart 365 times a year... and you might have to get extra flood insurance.
Maybe I took too much liberation with my words but these I think are good words for you to hear.
-Shawn
2006-10-27 16:06:58 · answer #3 · answered by leseulun 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your loss. It is always hard to lose a child no matter how old they are. There are support groups out there if you need to talk you know. Other people have gone through the same thing and maybe one of these groups can help you. Try to remember and laugh and smile at the things he said and did. You may even want to write a book or diary about him. My prayers are with you.
Try to find a group in your area. There may also be Grief support groups on yahoo. Put in a search. Here is one:
Keep in mind that your son wants you to be happy. Remember him with happiness and continue to get on in life. Do things that bring you joy and remember this is not truly the end. You will see him again someday but now is not that time.
2006-10-27 15:46:54 · answer #4 · answered by The_answer_person 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I'm 40. I have three kids. I'm an only child.
I have not lost a child. I read the other answers before I replied.
The answer is....never. BUT - you can still function AND be happy, I think. I have not lost a child, but I have lost people who were key in my life. I am still sorry they are not here, but I keep them alive by thinking of them, and by allowing them to still impact my life by the things that I learned from them. I want to think that they know this, but there's no way to know if they do or not. Doesn't matter in the end - they still are having an impact and that makes me feel good. And at the end of the day, that's what matters to me, really.
If he had a wife..if he had kids...if he had friends...stay connected to any or all of them. Talk about him - laugh about him - together.
Think about how much you love him, and how much he loved you. And think about what he would want for you - imagine that you died and he was living. Try to be yourself what you would want for him to be if you were the one who died and left him alive. Cry when you need to, when you can't help it. And then go do his favorite thing or eat his favorite food. Enjoy it as though you were he. Do your best to live the life that he can no longer live. And think of it that way. Make a conscious effort to do things that you KNOW would make him smile if he were here to see you. And then smile with him.
2006-10-27 15:57:06 · answer #5 · answered by shannonfstewart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whenever you're ready. There's no right or wrong here and don't let anybody lead you to believe there is. You're still crying because you've lost your baby boy. Whether he was 40 yrs old or a still born. Pain is pain. Don't be so hard on yourself. That job you should save for the rest of the world.
2006-10-27 15:47:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Soul -- one year is soooooo recent. You had your beloved child for 40 yrs; this represents just 1/40th of his life.
I lost my darling husband 7 yrs ago, and I've just recently (this summer) been able to go a few days at a time w/o bawling and crying my eyes out off/on.
Be gentle with yourself. It may be sooner than later, but maybe not. Just take it one hour at a time. If you make it thru 1 hr w/o crying, that's progress.
2006-10-27 16:56:50 · answer #7 · answered by Momma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every one deals with death differently, my mother passed away 15 years ago and it stills hurts at times and I have a good cry. Letting your feelings out and expressing them is part of the healing process. One year is still fresh in your mind but over time you will come to not cry as much when you think of him. I am sorry for your loss and I hope you find peace in your heart.
2006-10-27 16:00:21 · answer #8 · answered by mschrissy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother lost a son in 1968. No, you never get over it. Some wounds never heal, but you hopefully learn to live with it. Everyone has already told you practically anything that could be useful, but if you like music, I have a suggestion. go to Youtube and dial up the Warren Zevon song, "Keep Me In Your Heart For Awhile". It will make you cry, but it does have something good to offer about how to cope with the loss. I wish you peace!
2006-10-27 15:55:17 · answer #9 · answered by Proud Liberal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I am sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine losing one of my children.
Secondly, it is OK to grieve. It is not good to keep it knotted up inside of you when you need the pressure relief of a good cry. You will always miss him.
Thirdly, talk to God. Study the Bible. Remember Job lost his entire family (except his wife who was not a comfort), all of his belongings and his health, yet he kept his faith and trust in God.
Lastly, don't dwell in the past. Move on. Focus on what you can do to help other people that are still here. You should better appreciate the other people around you now, knowing brevity of life. Participate in charitable acts that would have pleased your son.
Whenever tragedy occurs in our lives, it will either make us stronger or make us weaker. BE STRONGER, better, wiser, more loving, more God revering!
2006-10-27 16:17:45 · answer #10 · answered by Figure it out! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your loss. It is a cruelty that no parent should have to experience. Don't worry about how long or how often you cry. Your tears are a testament of your love for your son. But eventually you will be ok again. Believe me, your son wants you to miss him, but not be destroyed by his death. I have often wondered what comes next for us. I am not sure what is on the other side, but I strongly suspect it is pretty exciting. I know you want him here with you, and it is completely unfair that he isn't. But even though you are not ok right now, I promise you that he is.
2006-10-27 15:42:11 · answer #11 · answered by Trip S 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋