I know it sounds stupid but really ive been a single mom for a year, im tired of dating,clubs,bar scene,and lets not forget friends and family trying to set me up. I have two daughters (2 and a half and 2months) they come first, then the guy. Im not looking for a father figure but i do expect my kids to be treated as well as im treated.Im use to being both the mom and dad. I live in the panhandle in florida and i havent found one single man who is tired of all the bull and wants to actually find true love. Sometimes i wish how people found love in the movies was true in real life.
2006-10-27 15:18:40 · 13 answers · asked by army fiance 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
this is the sorry state of single moms all through the world.
let us find the solution to solve it.
the best the man involved to be made responsible for it to the welfare of children.
2006-10-27 15:24:06 · answer #1 · answered by prince47 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, not a turnoff, a challenge. Most younger guys cannot imagine marrying in to a family with two little ones. And you have your priorities right and you have undoubtedly learned a lot from the absent father of your two children. There are guys as you know who are interested in nothing except getting what they want and it is rather obvious when they do not ask questions about the children or what you are going through or if the father is or isn't involved. It is the questions asked that give you clues. However, if they overdo it, get schmaltzy over your responsibilities, watch out. The cons are always "too good."
Best if you get out and into a couple of activities that put you in contact with guys looking for a winner like you: "find true love." Enroll in one community college or adult school course in something that interests you: Pottery making, cooking French, building furniture, raising dogs, etc. He will find you from afar as they do in the movies. And when you talk, do not hide the kids and be upbeat about your good fortune to have the sweethearts and then ask about him. Don't stay on the kids too much. They are a fact and you come as a team. Good luck.
2006-10-27 15:31:22 · answer #2 · answered by ALWAYS GOTTA KNOW 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a single parent, the man you eventually end up in a relationship with will have to love not only you but your children also. Sure, it is definently a turn-off to some guys, but those are the guys you wouldn't want to be involved with anyway. Stop looking so hard for true love, and just enjoy your life and your family as it is right now. I'm sure you will find that someone special when you least expect it.
2006-10-27 15:29:49 · answer #3 · answered by I was wondering 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its not that its a turn off its just most men dont wanna take on where some other guy left off . im 37 ive never had kids i was married 12 years. we couldnt have kids. it was me we devorced 5 years ago . every woman i meet have kids that are older in the teens most of the time . they instantly dont like you . no matter how nice you are but little one on the otherhand are easyer . i hope you can find a good man that will be a father figure for youre kids . my sister said i need a woman with young kids already . and i would be a good father . every woman i meet that has young kids has problems with the ex . now thats a turn off
2006-10-27 15:28:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not likely to meet a great partner in the bar!!
Focus on yourself and learn to ENJOY being single. Only when you are happy with your own life can you begin to share it with someone else.
Additionally, when you do start getting involved with someone, it is very impotant to keep 'dating' separate from your kids. Trust me it is the worst feeling when your kid has gotten attached to your SO and used to them being around, and then one dat they are gone. Yes it means you may not get to see the person as often as you'd like having to arrange for a sitter all the time, but that is for the best anyway when the focus should be on yourself and the kids.
And ultimately yes you are looking for someone who can be a father figure, aren't you? Sure as a single mom we are first looking for someone that we can have a great relationship with, but come on, if they are not potentially father material then it's not going to last in the end.
I've been a single mom for over 6 years, 4 of that was spent in am on/off relationship that ended 2 years ago and I haven't dated at all in the past year. Then a couple weeks ago I met a fabulous man who I am really clicking with, and my friend has known him a long time and has given her seal of approval as a genuinely good person who just happens to be shy around women... he talks about the kids he used to babysit for, and has friends with kids, so I get a good sense that he is okay with kids without having to get him around my son for a while yet. So hang in there, it doesn't seem like there are lots of great men out there but they are out there, you just have to be ready!
2006-10-27 15:33:24 · answer #5 · answered by zmj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dating a single parent is not for everyone. What you need to do is find someone who understands what he's in for, and likes the idea... like another single parent. See if there's a branch of Parents Without Partners in your area. The organization has a website at www.parentswithoutpartners.org Good luck!
2006-10-27 15:24:55 · answer #6 · answered by SL_SF 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hang in there gf being a single parent is not a turn off! i'm currently trying to persuade a very special lady to share her life with me. she has a very handsome 8mo boy whom i adore. i don't go to bars or get drunk or run around with my friends or any of that stuff.i just got tired of all that stuff.i've got a good job and i'm a hopeless romantic that loves to pamper and spoil and i've got tons and tons of love to give,but she says she loves me but won't give me an answer.we live almost 100 miles apart andi only get to see her and my little buddy about every 2wks and it's torture. so i know what you're going through but yes there are some of us guys that are tired of the bs and want true love keep looking baby
2006-10-27 15:35:40 · answer #7 · answered by ccrider4u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a single parent - but did grow up in a broken home. It's very hard on the kids when a parent chooses the wrong partner. I think you will have a hard time while your kids are little - wait until they are in college to date. You will do your kids a favor if you do this - show them you truly put them first and love them. My parents did not do this and I am not close to either one of them...
2006-10-27 15:26:44 · answer #8 · answered by redbirdflying1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-17 14:59:19 · answer #9 · answered by elizabeth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
certainly not i dated a girl wit 2 daughters an now 15 years on we are still together. i am sure there is someone out there 4 you. good luck.
2006-10-27 15:27:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋