My 4 year old son is acting crazy!?

Question

My son, who just turned 4 and is in preschool, has been acting crazy lately. He has poor impulse control and downright disobeys me. I am with him ALL DAY EVERY DAY, my husband works a lot, and I am about to pull my hair out. He is far from ADHD, but is clearly acting out, on purpose...out in public or when we are at someone's house, or when someone comes over. We do timeouts, and I do spank, when I need to, and I talk with him a lot about this.
If any one has ANY advice on how to handle him or what I should try, I am all ears.

Thanks.

Answer 1

I think this is a normal stage. Every mom I know wishes for the terrible twos again when they hit this one. In the twos, they don't know what the rules are and are just testing to find out. Then sometime around 3 or 4 they hit this totally defiant stage where they know the rules, but want to see if they can push hard enough to make them go away. It is the most nerve-wracking phase I've yet encountered. My kids are 4 and 5, so I'm sure there are many more unpleasant phases to come, but this one tops it for now. All I can tell you is that if you are consistently firm, it will pass, it just does not seem like it right now. My daughter was my worst during this, some days getting 30 or 40 time outs a day. You start feeling like a tyrant, but the one time you let something slide, you pay for it for the rest of the week.

Answer 2

Do you have other kids? We have a 3 1/2 year old who does the same thing. We have been trying to figure out the cause of his "acting out". We have three boys, he is the middle. I wonder if there is any truth to that middle child thing. Our oldest has never acted this way, he is 8. Our youngest is mischievous, but normally so, nothing like the 3 1/2 year old brother. The bad part is he can be so sweet when he wants to. Lately we've been talking a lot about Santa and the fact that he is ALWAYS watching. Right now this seems to be helping. The worst part of our son's behavior is the whining and screaming. If you don't do what he wants at the exact moment that he wants you to, he just goes nuts....no patience whatsoever. He is very intelligent and extremely strong-willed. When we spank, it's like he just laughs. This can't be normal! We keep hoping he'll get older and grow out of it. He's in daycare (no way would I attempt to keep him at home!)
Good luck!

Answer 3

Try not to concern yourself too much. All children are not the same and they all go through stages. It sounds like you are disciplining him and this shows him that it is not OK, the way that he is acting. Continue to be consistent and firm, but loving at the same time. He is probably just testing his boundaries. Positive reinforcement is as important as the negative. You sound like a good mom, I am sure everything will work out for both of you. I am a mother of three and a preschool teacher, and the boys are often the most trying, but capable of great things. Good Luck.

Answer 4

I actually asked the same question about my 4 year old in preschool last month. My daughter was acting out like she never has before. I still don't know the exact reason for it. I kept on her and disciplined her (honestly for her time out or bed without a story is worse then a spank- it is like life time in jail). It did go away and we are back to normal. Just keep on him and don't give in (i know it is hard and frustrating). But, I promise you if you do it will be worth it and you will have your little boy back.

Answer 5

First you need to make him understand who's the boss. Don't yell because he'll only ignore it. When you ask him to do something, get down to his level, (kneel on one knee if you need to) and hold his face (gently of course) and make him look at you. Tell him "Michael, I need you to do this right now." Sometimes kids need you to MAKE them focus on you with no other distractions before it sinks in. Get a chair or a rug and put it somewhere where there is nothing to entertain him. If you ask him once and he doesn't listen, tell him that if he doesn't do what you asked him to do, he will have to sit in time out. If again, he doesn't listen, put him on that spot and don't talk to him or argue with him. If he gets up, put him back without talking to him. It will take time but he'll get the idea if you're consistent enough with it.

Remember, he's only 4. He'll push your buttons. He's just finding his independance right now, and you're going to be very busy showing him where the boundaries are, lol! Good luck!!! And keep in mind, you're not weird, or a bad mother and you don't have a weird kid. When mine acted like that, I just KNEW it was my fault or there was something wrong with him. Girl...you're not the first mother who's had to go through this, and you won't be the last.

Answer 6

Look into his diet; there are kids severely allergic to sugar or other food and act up much the way you described your son. When they are able to identify the cause of the allergy and take that out of the diet, the child calms down.
I used to see a naturopathic doctor and told me how much diet plays such an important part in a child's behavior. Medical doctors usually prescribe medications to calm children down but I don't agree with that kind of treatment.

Answer 7

im young yes but have had custidy and raised my younger two siblings
my little bother garrett when he was about the same age started acting out as well he was reall testing what he can and cant get away with never give in they always remember and will continute to do it cause they know youll break um what else remember to keep prasing him for all the good things and do little rewards for the good or else all they will see is disipline and get fustrated and will act out even more i learned that the hard way stand firm on your commands to him he'll be okay hes just testing what he can do and cant do
good luck

Answer 8

girl whoop his tail. get you a switch and whoop his tail EVERY time he acts out. because children only go as far as we let them. i have a 4 year old and he dare not try me. i do not abuse my son but i do get a switch and tare his tail up if he needs it. you have to let him know that you are the boss. as a parent you should be able to look at your child and make them stop acting bad. if he does not know that there are repercussions he will continue to act crazy. my son does act crazy when he is with my sister. and she has even suggested that i get him seen for ADHD but i just tell her she can't handle him because like i said before, he does not try me. your son will get tired of getting a whole tore in his tail with a switch and he will stop acting crazy. and then you will be able to look at him and whatever he is doing he will stop in his tracks. now please don't beat the boy, just hit him about 5 times on his bottom with the switch every time he acts up and watch the difference in him. then warn him do you want me to get the switch ad a look with it and the look will start changing his attitude. you are the parent remember that. take control. hope this helps

Answer 9

Don't let him do what he wants if he doen't obey u. Or just keep putting him on time outs or do a sticker thing like: Tell him evryday you be good you get a sticker and if you get 10-20 (somewhere in there) stickers you get a piece of candy or something like that or give him a hug or kiss for an award.

Answer 10

Your answer is your sticking him in preschool?? If you stay home with your child then you need to be the one installing morals and rules, he learns what he is doing from other kids in preschool. When he disobeys you need to ask him what he is doing wrong and then spank him for it. You need to stay on this.. When he acts out in the store pick him up and take him home right away no matter where or what your doing and give him a spanking. Dont be afraid of your child or displining him you need to be stern and repeat it, It will sink in.