I am dating a smoker. I hate the smell (it makes me cough and feel nauseous) and I think that smoking is pointless and stupid. I feel sad dating someone whose lifespan is probably slowly being reduced as the smoking continues. I threatened to end the relationship if the smoking continued, and it didn't work.
Is smoking a legitimate reason to end a relationship? Any thoughts?
2006-10-27 14:09:21 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Other - Diseases
This person did NOT smoke when we first met. I'm sorry I didn't mention this before, but please don't jump to conclusions.
2006-10-27 14:44:05 · update #1
It depends. If you really dig them or not. I am a smoker. It IS THE HARDEST THING TO TRY TO QUIT. It is even harder for a smoker to quit when the one they date tries to pressure for them to quit. It is hard to understand, for you not being a smoker and not having addiction over your head. A smoker will quick when and if they want to.
Try not to ask them to quit if you LIKE them, Its ok not to like the smoke. Just ask them to smoke away from you, and its ok to give them crap here and there about how bad it sticks (but NOT Why don't you quit) .
Take advice, if they DON'T WANT to quit they won't... I was in a yr relationship, and my G/F was on my case to quit all the time. I ended up smoking behind her back!!!!!
Remember!! IF they don't quit, its not because they like you less---IT IS THEY ARE ADDICTED. Nicotine is one of the most addictive chemicals out there.
2006-10-27 14:23:20 · answer #1 · answered by mymack79 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you feel that way .. then yes... No smokers want to smoke. They might deny that.. but it is true. I have been a smoker for years.. I would love to quit. Non smokers have no idea what that is like. And non smokers sit in a judgment chair that that is way too big for them, because they do not understand. It shouldn't matter if he smokes or not.. if you like who he is. If it matter to you, then end it now.. that relationship will go nowhere... there are many married couples who struggle of this issue, or issues similar.. if you can't handle it.. then leave now.. no sense,,, and as for life span? who are we to say?.. my dad is dying .. not many hours, days, weeks.. left from a lung disease and never smoked a cigarette in his life.. Only God knows how long someone is going to live... when you love someone, if you put a time frame on it.. let it go. You already know this is not going to work, or you would not be here asking the question... Let him go.... if you cannot accept him for who he is.. let him go.... You cannot try to change people to be who you want them to be... you either love them.. or you don't..
2006-10-27 14:26:44 · answer #2 · answered by tootsie38 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes, because you hate smoking and he isn't going to ever quit so if you marry him you are going to have to live with something you hate for your whole life. You plus your kids will have to breathe second hand smoke all the time and everything you own will smell like cigarettes. I think it's disgusting! Dump him, girl!
2006-10-27 14:15:07 · answer #3 · answered by DALLAS 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well if you and your partner truly love one another I think you guys should make it work. Your partner should see the fact that their life span in decreasing with every single cigarette smoked and also your partner should see that the person they love wants them to quit. Now I don't want to put this situation to where your partner is the only one who has to change. You have to help your partner thru their quiting process. It might take 1 month, 6 months, 1 year, etc. If they actually beside to quit, stay with them and help encourage them.
If your partner does not beside to quit, put this situation into another perspective. What happens when you guys get married and have children. Do you want your child(ren) to inhale the second hand smoke?
2006-10-27 14:23:03 · answer #4 · answered by ddnguyen9 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes, it is a legitimate reason. You do not approve of the behavior and it could negatively effect your health. Giving him an ultimatum will not work. He must want to quit or he will never be successful. Do not invest too much more time in this guy.
2006-10-27 14:13:54 · answer #5 · answered by CH 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It definately is, not only the fact that he smokes but that he put it infront of you. Don't you think if smoking is more important to him then you should let him be. At least your house won't stink. Smoking makes people ugly aswell, not just seeing them smoke..wrinkles..orange teeth.. cancer sticks..
2006-10-27 14:21:22 · answer #6 · answered by Aaron 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
maybe yes, because for health reason on your part. i honestly think you should, because if he's smoking when you're around, it will also shorten your lifespan along with him. so you better choose, him or your health? goodluck to you.
2006-10-27 14:13:19 · answer #7 · answered by Inquirer 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I totally think that its a good reason, but i guess i have a question for you, why did you start dating him if he smoked? if he was smoking before you were dating i dont think that its right for ou to ask him to quit, feel free to end it, but asking that, i dont think that its your right.
2006-10-27 14:22:02 · answer #8 · answered by marie 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
OBVIOUSLY THIS PERSON SMOKED WHEN YOU MET THEM IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE STARTED OR LET THE RELATIONSHIP GET STARTED. SO DON'T TRY AND FORCE YOUR BELIEFS OFF ON THEM DO NOT GIVE ULTIMATUMS IT WILL BACKFIRE ON YOU EVERY TIME. IF YOU DON'T LIKE SMOKE JUST LEAVE DO NOT THREATEN.
2006-10-27 14:33:09 · answer #9 · answered by jacks5j 3 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Consider this... you put a question about someone you're dating under "diseases & conditions".
Haven't you answered your own question?
2006-10-27 14:17:56 · answer #10 · answered by Sir J 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋