I've been in my kid's father for 6 yrs and he has a 7 yr old daughter from b4 me. And I've been in her life since she was a year. She calls me mom but she recently just started living with us full time and prior to living with us she lived with her aunt for 2 yrs(thats a diff story) But her aunt daddy's sis always whats the 7 yr old and neglects the 2 her brother and me have. And our children want to be with her to. And there better behaved then the 7 yr old as well. But she always asks if the 7yr old can stay the week end but never the younger ones. It upsets me because my children cry when she comes to get the older one. So I decided since she shows favoritiziam toward the older one I'm not going to put my children through any emotional pain because of her actions. Her father lets her go with her aunt. But has agreed not to let her see the younger ones. I dont feel she should be allowed to see any of them if she wants to act like that because the only ones getting hurt are my kids.
2006-10-27 14:01:41 · 8 answers · asked by Louisa F 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
The sister and I sat down and talked about treating all the kids the same several monthes ago and she said she would because my family has accepted the oldest as one of the family and she involved in all family functions. It's just the sister isn't sticking to her words.
2006-10-27 14:20:16 · update #1
There isn't much you can do. Since she isn't your [biological] child, the decision is not yours to make. Try to find a way to make it easier on the other two. Maybe instead of your sister-in-law coming to get the oldest child, you could have your husband take her and drop her off. At least that way, your kids wouldn't have to see their aunt come over and only take one kid with her. They would still know what was going on, but it might make it a little less upsetting for them.
2006-10-27 14:15:39 · answer #1 · answered by lj1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard to try and blend families. I think that she is wrong too. I say if the younger two cant see her then the older one should not be able to. Have you tried to talk to her and see what the problem is? Maybe she has a closer bond with her because she has helped raise her. If the mother hasn't been doing anything with her she may have tried to fill that mother role and now she feels like her parent. Which that is unhealthy too, but you should ask about her feelings.
2006-10-27 21:09:01 · answer #2 · answered by ha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can do a few things here.
1. Don't let her see any of the kids, or
2. Talk with your husband about the apparent favoritism, or
3. Talk with this aunt about the favoritism.
I think talking it all out would be the best way to go. Talk with your husband and talk with his sister. It's best to get these things out in the open. The longer they fester, the worse it will be for everyone - especially the children.
2006-10-27 21:13:09 · answer #3 · answered by Richard B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this may seem like a trite answer,but it is extremely important to do what is best for all of the children. They get so emotionally damaged at such young ages. It is hard often times to do what is best for them (often times not what they want), but consider their needs. Try talking with the 3 kids together and ask them for suggestions on ways to solve this. you will be amazed. I taught elem for 20 years and often "brain stormed" with the kids and they came up with awesome answers. 80% of second marriages end up in divorce mostly due to what you are going thru now.
2006-10-27 23:38:19 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should talk to her about what she is doing and see if she will stop and if she feels that what she is doing isn't wrong then tell her that she can't see any of the kids, until she decides to treat all of the kids the same.
2006-10-27 21:11:54 · answer #5 · answered by princess1panda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are right about it but you have to think of the 7year old who loves to go with her. maybe she is just not good with smaller kids.Maybe she bonded with her when she was a baby.I think you should talk with the sister and ask her for the truthful answer and explain why it hurts you and your younger child.Why not try the younger one going for the day and not the night,something like that.
2006-10-27 21:13:23 · answer #6 · answered by spoiledsarah25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep all the kids away from your baby's daddy's sister.
At least the kids will get their money's worth at the therapist.
2006-10-27 21:17:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree, and maybe you should talk to her and not spread your business around the enternet. (don't get mad at me, it's the truth)
2006-10-27 21:19:26 · answer #8 · answered by -The Best ;) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋