Is anyone in a relationship with a person who has BPD? I'm dating someone with BPD, and I never know what to do during arguments. When I fight back, the argument gets worse. If I act aloof, it usually results in a suicide threat. Does anyone have a strategy?
2006-10-27 13:59:04 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
BPD have chaotic relationships, emotionally unstable and have dependency issues.threatening you with suicide is because they fear abandonment and they want your attention. Make sure they dont have the means to carry out any harm. Deal with them in a calm manner, be patient and caring and set limits on unacceptable behavior. if they get upset and unreasonable during arguments ask them how they feel and let them vent out their feelings. If behavior improves, praise them. but if it goes downhill encourage them to go to treatment!!!
2006-10-27 17:14:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost is this person in treatment and taking medications? If they are here are some facts for you I myself am a BLPD sufferer
The world of a BP, like that of a child, is split into heroes and villains. A child emotionally, the BP cannot tolerate human inconsistencies and ambiguities; he cannot reconcile anther is good and bad qualities into a constant coherent understanding of another person. At any particular moment, one is either Good or EVIL. There is no in-between; no gray area....people are idolized one day; totally devalued and dismissed the next.
Normal people are ambivalent and can experience two contradictory states atone time; BPs shift back and forth, entirely unaware of one feeling state while in the other.
When the idealized person finally disappoints (as we all do, sooner or later) the borderline must drastically restructure his one-dimensional conceptionalization. Either the idol is banished to the dungeon, or the borderline banishes himself in other to preserve the all-good image of the other person.
Splitting is intended to shield the BP from a barrage of contradictory feelings and images and from the anxiety of trying to reconcile those images. But splitting often achieves the opposite effect. The frays in the BP's personality become rips, and the sense of his own identity and the identity of others shifts even more dramatically and frequently.
Here are two books you can read to help
Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder
I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality
2006-10-27 21:31:12 · answer #2 · answered by nana_viki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Borderline personality disorder is often a devastating mental condition, both for the people who have it and for those around them.
Perhaps shaped by harmful childhood experiences or brain dysfunctions, people diagnosed with borderline personality disorder live in a world of inner and outer turmoil. They have difficulty regulating their emotions and are often in a state of upheaval. They have distorted images of themselves, often feeling worthless and fundamentally bad or damaged.
And while they yearn for loving relationships, people with borderline personality disorder typically find that their anger, impulsivity, stormy attachments and frequent mood swings push others away.
Over the last 10 years, increasing awareness and research are helping improve the treatment and understanding of borderline personality disorder. At the same time, it remains a controversial condition, particularly since so many more women than men are diagnosed with it, raising questions about gender bias. Although definitive data are lacking, it's estimated that 1 percent to 2 percent of American adults have borderline personality disorder (BPD). It occurs in about one in every 33 women, compared with one in every 100 men, and is usually diagnosed in early adulthood.
Contrary to lingering perceptions, emerging evidence indicates that people with BPD often get better over time and that they can live happy, peaceful lives.
2006-10-27 21:40:07 · answer #3 · answered by rose56149 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Date someone without BPD, they are difficult people it´s not their fault but they are difficult.
2006-10-27 23:34:49 · answer #4 · answered by Katiegirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This situation will never get any better no matter what you do. Sorry to say, but cut your losses and try to remain friends.
2006-10-27 21:05:15 · answer #5 · answered by geishagirl61 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Walk away. Say you can't handle this right now and that you will speak with them when they are calm and you are calm. Do not allow it to escalate. Sounds mean, but you pretty much have to do it....
2006-10-27 21:03:36 · answer #6 · answered by *babydoll* 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, do yourself a big favor... end the relationship. Do you really want to be dealing with this?
2006-10-27 21:11:36 · answer #7 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Leave the relationship. It is too crazy making.
2006-10-27 21:08:32 · answer #8 · answered by copestir 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋