Am I twisted or do all women do this?

Question

I know this sounds evil, but I am addicted to breaking hearts. I mean, sometimes I just go and seduce a guy I feel zero attraction to just for the hell of it, just to feel powerful. And then I tell them to go screw themselves. Well, not literally, but…yeah. And I get some sort of weird pleasure to it. Is this completely abnormal or is it pretty natural?

Answer 1

Well done for being up-front about your problem! - that couldn't have been easy for you to share with everyone here. People do not do what they do for trivial reasons.

Something in your past, has created a mistrust in men from the sounds of things and that by attracting them without even feeling anything strongly indicates that someone in your life in the past had either abused your trust as a little girl or had abandoned you. There are a number of women who have been through what you are going through, have this same problem and is not as uncommon as it sounds.

There is a great deal of emotional pain underneath and I am sure that you feel that from time to time, but find ways of diconnecting from that feeling inside?. There is definitely a pattern to the way you treat men and be proud of yourself for at least admitting to yourself this, because some people don't and continue to do what they are trying to run away from the problem. You are facing it and good on you! - your question deserves a lot of time and attention.

When you were a child, you were powerless to change anything and now as an adult, you still feel this powerlessness and try to get it back by making others feel powerless too. You keep repeating this pattern of behaviour to try and feel em-powered but each time, you feel just as powerless as you did before.

This happens because it is a temporary plaster lying on the surface of a much deeper problem. Your fix is temporary. So, you need to get another fix and so on but it doesn't change how you feel. There is a lot of anger and pain that is driving you this way and you cannot feel it because you do anything that will not let you feel it and run away from these feelings inside.

What you are feeling is trying to come to the surface but you will try and push it back down. These feelings belong to the past and have been left unresolved and have gradually built up over time. this is what happens when we haven't dealt with feelings in childhood and why we have the behaviours we do now as adults and I think that getting some counselling will really help you understand why it is you do what do and help you to break this abusive cycle of behaviour.

Someone had betrayed your trust as a child and as a child you could do nothing. Now, as an adult, you can and what this person had done to you as a child, you now want to punish others of that sex to re-gain the power you had taken from you as a child. The men who you do this to, are not responsible for what had happened to you growing up, and I know that you know this and feeling pretty bad about it.

Feeling the pain and anger is okay and very normal for your experiences and these feelings are there for a reason. It needs to come out and in a safe way. I want you to to write down in a diary what feelings are coming up, no matter how difficult or painful they are - they are all part of what you feel and are telling you what is going on and why you do what you do. Try not to distract yourself with anything, but sit with the feelings when they come up and just write it all down and as much as you can.

You will see from what you have written, what is really going on inside and it will seem scary at first to finally confront it all, but there, you will have it in ink, what the emotions are that you normally try to avoid feeling. take some really deep breathes in and really get to the centre of the pain you really feel deep inside, focus upon this and with a lot of force, breathe out these horrid feelings until you don't feel them anymore. Repeat this excercise whenever you can and as often as you can when you are in touch with your feelings.

This is a great excercise because, it is physically dealing with some very difficult and painful emotions that are stored in the body and are safetly released on the breathe. I am trained in this area, so please don't think me stange. I was abused as a child and like you, have had a very difficult time trusting men in my life but chose gay partners I felt safer being with but have had counselling and trained to be a counsellor myself. You will beat this problem once you are prepared and committed to dealing with it with help and support. It isn't going to ruin your life because you are now ready to confront the problem and well done.

This behaviour is a natural response to something that has happened to you and is normal for your experiences. It is not the general behaviour women adopt with men unless they have been abused in some way by a male figure somewhere in their pasts. You cannot possibly feel genuine pleasure from it because it is accompanied by a great deal of underlying pain too and this means that, any pleasure you do feel, is another temporary fix to feel em-powered, but the effects wear off and so the pleasure isn't real or permanent.

The pleasue aspect though, is the feeling you get from feeling in control, but your behaviour is in control of you and this is what you want to stop. Please, please, do not ignore this problem and really do get some counselling because it is controlling your life and is abusive behaviour and self-destructive and you are in danger of getting yourself hurt in the process because there are some who are not as powerless as they seem and you could find things back-firing on you.

You owe it to yourself to get the help and support you need to beat this compulsive disorder. You deserve not to treat yourself in this way or for others to be treated in this way and left untreated, will make your life so empty, unfulfilled and full of hatred for men you feel deep inside. You know you have a problem and so the next step now is to get this help to stop this.

I truly hope that you will get help and that you begin to start liking yourself again and hopefully, have some trust in men when not all of them are out to hurt you or abuse you in anyway. It takes time to heal and work through some stuff, but you will get through this .

Answer 2

It's one of the most dangerous games in the world that you can play, and don't think for a moment that some men won't become violent. Some will get back at you by using their physical strength, and the outcome could be horrible.

And others might take it out on an innocent child.

You need to give that up in short order.

Answer 3

Change your electronic mail passwords and transparent the cache each feww mins. There are transportable locks. Make definite you delete emails instantly. If she opens your snail mail, both get a PO BOX or dossier a criticism with the postal carrier. I might positioned a lock at the door regardless - get your counselor to help you in that regard. I could have a few peers set her up with fake data and make amusing of her while she assaults you. If she chides you for seeing s counselor- inform her no less than you're getting aid.

Answer 4

You remind me of a woman who did just that in a story I read once. Her heart was broken, and she could read minds to do this more effectively. (It wasn't meant to be a 100% realistic story.) It can be understandable. I can see how many women would want to do this.

Nevertheless, actually doing the deed itself is not what I would call normal. Wikipedia has an article on this,[1] if I've got the right idea.

Answer 5

I don't know how you can do that. I could never break a guy's heart or use him like that. I just couldn't. I'd feel way too guilty, even though I've been hurt like that in the past by guys...I guess I won't let myself sink to their levels and continue to be nice and sweet to them. That's how I found my soulmate. I know that there are many other girls who do the exact same thing that you do, so I guess it's natural. Maybe I'm just the odd one out.

Answer 6

I thought of doing that once, but it was with a guy I'd only met a couple of times on the bus, and I haven't seen him in months. But you're not totally evil. You're just doing the same thing guys have been doing to us for centuries.

Answer 7

ya thats a very normal thing, its actually a medical condition called larnix omptimus. its not a disease its just a common thing to occur in the womans mind.































your the meanest person ever i can't believe you do that. how can you seriously ask that question. how do you sleep at night. No thats not normal and its definently not a certain medical condition other than insanly bit chy

Answer 8

I went through that phase for a while when I was in my late 20's early 30's I just stopped in the last year. My bestfriend is still there so no you are not twisted just normal and single. by the way I am only 40 now

Answer 9

Maybe it's because you can't find true love!! Because if you were truly happy kids games wouldn't have crossed your mind. You should be on the track making money because that's what a *oe does TRICK! That's your self-esteem talking to the world. You don't have any. Find yourself because no one is perfect. Good Luck with your search.

Answer 10

No it's not normal. You have issues with power and control when it comes to relationships and sex. If it gets you off to hurt people just for the hell of it, you're sick. You need to seek professional help. And I'm not kidding.

Answer 11

This is absolutely natural, (I mean, boys do it too...) it's kind of evil, but you know, flirtin' it's a hobbie..You're not weird, you're very honest....

I'ts not the needing to feel the pain of the broken hearths, it's the poison of beening desired..wanted...until a painful point (For them)