Can you help me to understand something please?

Question

I'm divorced and raised my children w/o any help from my ex husband. They're now grown and are really good kids and cause no problems. I solely support myself, do not have financial debts and am easy to get along with. People say I'm pretty and I have a sense of humor yet men that I meet want just sex and not to get to know the real me. I don't sleep around and just want to find someone that wants to be with me because they like me for who I am. I feel that I am so disgusting to people and that depresses me. I don't think I'll ever meet that someone special.

I go to church faithfully but my church is very small in attendance. I don't go to bars and nightclubs. The men that I have met approach me in stores and restaurants, places like that and they seem real nice until they make their intentions clear. I don't fight/argue with them, I walk away because just sex is not what I want from them.

Answer 1

One thing that you have to understand is that there are some men that are on the prowl and they take advantage of women in your situation (divorced, no dependant children, etc.). They think that you'll be an easy lay. Don't get disgusted about that because there are a lot of jerks out there.

Keep dating if that is what you want to do. You will find someone who has the same interests and values as you do and you'll be just fine. You know the best ones are hard to find, but worth keeping. Keep your head up, the best is yet to come.

Answer 2

Sounds like the problem is not with you....but with the bozos you've been meeting. So, where have you been meeting these shallow men? Time to upgrade where you socialize.

I read your response, and it sounds like you're not doing the wrong things anyway (bars, etc), but lets look at what ELSE you could do. Have you place a personal ad stating clearly that yr objective is frienship only? (I know, it sounds icky, but it has worked for some of my friends). You go to church, but do you participate in outings and group activities? Have you tried Parents Without Partners? Is there something you can get involved in that you care about? I know you are busy with a job, but it also sounds like it's time to shake things up a bit. You know how they say you've got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find Prince Charming? This may have been the year of the frog for you, so change your patterns, go new places, take classes, meet a bunch of frogs and who knows...... I'm not going to be flip and say all men are pigs, I don't believe that, but I've been through a few frogs myself. Best of luck.

Answer 3

Hey there!!! Stop it. You are being self destructive. First off, it's not your fault that guys want to get laid. How are you meeting these guys? Are you so beautiful that they can't help themselves? Do they still hang around after they know you aren't going to sleep with them? It takes time for someone to get to know you, so maybe make dates that are in the morning, or for lunch first? If you want to sleep with a guy, just wait until the next date, or one more after that, or after getting tested. A guy has to respect you for wanting to be safe. After all, he won't want anything either, unless he already has something and doesn't care anymore, so remembe that too!!!!
I met that someone special when he was dating my friend. She was a real jerk. So, I waited a couple of years after they had split before I said anything. He liked me too, obviously, so it worked. But let me tell you about the losers I dated during those two years!!!!!!! You only need to meet someone special once. You'll know when he makes you crazy, because you care and he does too. This probably sounds icky, but hold out, he's out there. Don't be afraid of meeting someone at a bar or a bookstore, or whatever your into. Maybe that's what is bothering you, are you into something???? Get busy. When your not looking, that's when you'll meet him. Best wishes!

Answer 4

right, straight from the starte let me say that,i am so new to this, you would not belive it (the internet) but i must amitt that it could be intererting. i give you 10/ 10 for the question, but the last 25 words or more. do not justify the person who wrote the the frist words. hey you have got passed the hard part,you need
respect. sounds like maybe a bit, oh no why me, dont worry about others dont you get took for a mug, you dont deserve that, but i feel you shall not even if you get pissed off with persons
make the most of your life. be good, THANK-YOU tryping time 52 mins

Answer 5

First, forget the "disgusting to people" thing. Understand clearly that you are NOT disgusting to people, that's just how you feel. You have low self-esteem because you are meeting a lot of creeps.

Once you accept that you really are pretty and have a sense of humour, then join an on-line dating agency (if you haven't already, millions do), have confidence in yourself, get rid of everyone who doesn't appeal to you, and you will find the partner you're looking for.

Good luck. Have confidence in yourself. It's important.

Answer 6

Sounds like you're going to the wrong places to meet men. In the meantime, have fun! Take a class in something you'd enjoy like pottery, jewery making, photography, whatever. If you do things that interest you, you're bound to meet someone special with like interests. You must love yourself fully before finding true love and the only way to do that is to spend time by yourself, living life. Only when you are truly happy in your own skin, will you be ready for that soulmate.

Go here for some terrific articles on relationships, personal transformation, etc.

http://www.borntoinspire.com/id5.html

Answer 7

May be you just have not meet that someone special, keep trying, BUT you must love yourself first, remember, you are responsible for your own happiness, no one owed that to you. You should not feel like that about yourself, men who only want you to have sex with without spending the time to get to know you are not worth the time and energy, you should feel disgusted about them not yourself.

Answer 8

Are you sure I didn't write this? You sound like me! And I think you and I are not alone....not at all. I think what you are feeling and your situation is very common. There are lots of us wonderful self-sufficient, smart, and very lovable women out there and that is the problem. There are more of us than there are nice, decent men who would apprecate us to go around. It is a numbers game.

If I hear one more person tell me that "I just haven't found the right man" I think I will just.....well, I just don't know what I'll do.

Good luck to you.....you deserve to be loved and wanted just for who you are, just like me. I hope you find it.

Answer 9

Why do you feel you are disgusting? I would guess, without knowing more details, that you are meeting men in the wrong places. You have to go where the type of man you desire would likely be found.

Answer 10

Go to church! A lot of good men in church! Some who are widowers and very good looking. If you don't find anything else at least you'll have God. And with God you don't need a man!