What does she mean"things are complicated"?

Question

I have feelings for this girl... We've known each other for several years. She is on and off again with this other guy for the past 2 years. During the off times we do stuff and have a good time together. When I ask her where things are at with this relationship with this other guy, she just says it is "complicated" and nothing further. He treats her terrible and her parents even told him that he doesn't deserve their daughter. Now I hear that she is going on a weekend getaway with him, but when I ask her what she is doing this weekend she just says she is going away with some friends. She doesn't even tell me that she is doing stuff with him! Is she just trying not to hurt me or what's the deal? I'm open to anyone's comments/advice on the situation...

Thanks for all the comments... :) I obviously don't want to lose her as a friend, yet I don't want to see her get hurt by this other guy. She knows I like her, but I don't want to tell her what a bad guy he is because I'm sure she'll hate me for that (at least at the moment). Just for the record her friends keep telling her to get rid of this other guy and go with me.

I should also mention that after her parents told him that he didn't deserve her he has been calling her constantly. Obviously she overlooks the fact that they had to tell him to do stuff with her and call her...

Answer 1

When she says "things are complicated" it means that she's confused herself about what she should do with her boyfriend. She probably has so many emotions and feelings pulling her in every direction. She doesn't want to talk about it.

I'm not going to tell you "don't have feelings" for her but this has got to be taking a toll on your self-esteem. It's got to be torture to see someone that you want to be with with some other guy.

She's not trying to hurt you. My advice is to get out there and develop frienships with other girls. When you do so, make sure that they understand that you are interested in getting a girlfriend. That way you don't have this problem again.

This girl is never going to give you what you want so you need to do what's best for yourself and give yourself the oppurtunity to move on. Notice I didn't say "move on". Just give yourself the oppurtunity to move on. It will make life alot easier for you.

Answer 2

She dont want to tell you who shes going with because she knows that hes a jerk,,and you and probably everyone else is against it,,,so she is keeping it a secret or so she thinks. And also im sure she doesnt want to hurt your feelings. She feels guilty that shes spending so much time with him and not with you,,,when deep down in her heart she knows you are the one who really cares for her. She will realize it in time that hes not meant for her.Just be her friend and let her make her own mistakes. There is nothing you can do about that except be there for her when they break up.

Answer 3

"Complicated" can have many meanings.

My husband thinks it's her way of saying y'all aren't going to be any thing more than friends.

However, I think that she might have confused feelings about you and this guy. You need to tell her how you feel. Let her know that she can confide in you. This other guy might be threatening her if she actually leaves for good. You might want to do some digging into their relationship to find out. Only do that if she is really worth it.

If you are getting tired of being second to this "sh!**y" guy then stop being second. Let her know that when she gets him out of her system for good that you might still be around. Don't wait forever.

Answer 4

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Answer 5

Sounds like she knows that he is bad for her but she doesn't want any more scrutiny, so she tells you things are "complicated". I do believe that she isn't trying to hurt you, but if the dude treats her bad she is hurting herself in the long-run. I would be supportive, but don't bank your feelings on her coming around right now.

Answer 6

She is trying not to hurt your feelings or lose you as a friend. She is trying to sort out her feelings for this guy before she can move forward...Give her some time and I am certain that she will eventually come to her senses.

Answer 7

Nope she don't want you to know. It's complicated b/c she cannot justify the relationship for some reason. Maybe more deeper than you know. Let her be until she has her sense back or he ends up in jail, whichever comes first.

Answer 8

Awe. Well, maybe she is trying to be nice and not hurt your feelings but she kinda is anyway, right? It sounds almost as if someone else has forced her to go for some reason. She seems to feel obligated to him, and why?

Answer 9

wow that's a complicated question maybe she just doesn't want anyone but herself and maybe some of her girl type friends to know about the whole weekend thing

Answer 10

she must feel ashamed about her feeling's for this guy.she know's you have feeling's for her, so she doesn't want to burn her bridges with you. but it is so unfair to you, to waste yourself on her when there are plenty of girls out there for you. she says it is complicated because she has no intention on changing things, even if he is abusive.