hi i am really confused about my mom. my parents just separated about 3 months ago and well my mom is seeing this dude. and i don't like that, we use to go to church and pray...but now evetything went down, i regularly still go to church but she doesn't and i don't likr the fact that she is talking to a much younger guy!!! and that is wrong!!! do you think i am exagerating? last time i got so mad that i seriously wanted to leave and go anywhere but home!!i was and still am very disapointed at my mom. i didn't know she could b this way! seriuos;y do you think i am overreacting? be honest? what should i do? please help me i feel so bad!!!
2006-10-27 13:22:32 · 22 answers · asked by grace_k 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your moms an adult. She should be allowed to make decisions on what she wants to do with her life without asking for your permission. Long as the dude isn't hurting you & you don't get too attached to him until ur mom & him know its a sure thing, then just think of him as one of your moms friends. Speak to her about your feelings, but be nice & calm about it. To you a guy thats a little bit younger is wrong, but once your an adult you'll learn that ages don't really matter that much just as long as ya'll are in the same point in your life.
You probley feel deppressed that ur parents broke up. DON'T!!! Its not ur fault. They have their differences & have probley known that for years. They just finally decided that they can't work through them. They've tried even if you don't see that.
About you being dissapointed in you mother... Maybe she was dissapointed at herself for doing what hasn't worked for her for so long. So she decided to change things up & try to find what makes her happyer. In turn the happer she is the happer ya'll can be with each other.
What should you do??? Talk to your mom. Honestly. Make a list of points you want to make to her. Make all those points. Tell her it's really importent that she lets you get it all out before she talks. If your too chicken to talk in person, send her an e-mail explaining how you feel. & why you feel that way about those things if you know why. Chances are, if you do it like an adult, she'll speak to you like an adult & let you know whats on her mind about thats stuff. Don't expect her to have to tell you every little detail though. How would you like it if she did that with your life???
2006-10-27 13:40:22 · answer #1 · answered by prepishippie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For a starter you are acting quite a bit childish.Your mom has obviously been married for awhile so be patient and give her some breathing room,so she has a chance to get back into the swing of living as a single person.
Just because she is your mother doesn't mean that she isn't a person in her own right.Slow down and take a deep breathe things may not have worked out the way either of you probably pictured, but there is still time to make the best of your relationship and the time you have together.
Start by putting your feelings on you sleeve,so to speak.
Tell your mom how you feel and how you two seem to be spending less time together and explain how this is effecting your relationship with her ,and be patient things will work out so don't try to force it.best of luck,I do hope things work out for you and your mom.
2006-10-27 13:45:40 · answer #2 · answered by nighneev 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not over-reacting at all.
Definitely tell your mom how you feel!! she's not a mind-reader and although mom's are usually pretty good at reading their kid's body language, she's definitely going through a lot right now too and she's probably pretty distracted.
Ask her when you guys can have an hour to hang out together and talk and just start with "mom, I need you to know how I feel . . . " and share everything you wrote here. Hopefully, she'll share how she's feeling, appreciate your honesty and work on her behaivor. Maybe you can suggest that she at least makes time to go to church with you if that's important to you.
If that doesn't help, then it's time to talk to someone else. I wouldn't recommend that you turn to your dad - your mom might not appreciate that - but maybe a school counselor? I know they don't always seem like the person you'd want to talk to, but remember it's her/his JOB to help you out and keep your issues private.
Good luck!
2006-10-27 13:35:13 · answer #3 · answered by raquel122203 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am sorry to hear ur parents split up.
sometimes people fall out of love and need something more in life. something thier partner they can't give each other anymore.
it is important how u feel and she should take them into consideration.
as a parent i would want my daughter to come talk to me and let me know how i was making her feel. i would try to come to a agreement with her. something both sides can live with.
thats means if she compromises, u would have to also. u will not be 100% happy about anything, except ur parents getting back together. that doesn't sound like its going to happen. she needs companionship, thats life. she might not be alone since ur thier, but she will get lonely. ur parents sound like they were married a while. so she is not used to being single, she is used to having someone around. its scary being single after so long. u think u will never have anyone again. before long her daughter will be off to college or married and starting her own life. the older u get it becomes alot harder to find someone, basicly she doesn't want to end up alone. she might not even realize how she is making u feel. when u talk to her don't scream and yell, she will be more likely to talk and listen if ur r calm and address it like an adult.
good luck kiddo
2006-10-27 13:53:19 · answer #4 · answered by jesse james 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry your parents put you in such a painful situation. I don't think you are over-reacting, is normal for you to fell that way. Your mom might also be confused, and she is not thinking right.
I do really recommend for you to call 1800drlaura Monday through Friday, explain to Dr. Laura your feelings, she helps a lot, specially young people. She is a therapist, she's got a radio talk show. She won't charge you for her advice.
www.drlaura.com
Just try to hang out with good people OK, and try to make out of the ugly, the best you can.
May God Bless you.
2006-10-27 13:31:20 · answer #5 · answered by Mother of three 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all remember to trust in God, everything happens for a reason. And it will all work out in the end. Your mom might be having some major issues right now, and this is just her way of dealing. Even though you do not see why this is happening, the Lord knows His purpose even if we don't agree with it. Don't worry. God Bless
2006-10-27 14:01:14 · answer #6 · answered by Jessica 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should not over react or get hysterical about this. Your mom is an adult and she has the right to do what she pleases with her love/sexual live. Now I understand the way you feel and you should talk to her and be totally honest with her. Without getting all judgmental or exited about it. If she feels that you are trying to tell her what to do or are judging her she will get on the defense and the conversation will go all wrong.
2006-10-27 13:28:59 · answer #7 · answered by wanna_help_u 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are disappointed at your mom for trying to be happy??? Im sorry it didnt work out with your dad,,,,but your mom and also your dad have a right to be happy if they choose another partner. I know you are hurt thats normal....think of it as if you were in one of thier shoes,,and see how you would feel. Just because the guy is younger than her doesnt mean anything. Shes an adult and has the right to date who she wants. And you are making it difficult for her to be happy because you disagree. Honey life is too short to be mad over things like this. Just be happy you have your mom and dad in your life,,and they are here for you. Just because your mom has another man doesnt mean she loves you any less. She has a right to change her mind on certain things. Dont you think she deserves to be happy too,,after raising you your whole life. Just love and support your mom..as im sure she does with you. Like i said at least your mom and dad are alive and still love you. Dont be selfish.
2006-10-27 13:30:06 · answer #8 · answered by michelle 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it is of cause a kind of difficult situation for you. But you know, you cannot force anyone according to your likes, though you are right. It is your duty to tell if your mother when she go wrong, but unfortunately you cannot force, your part ends once you clearly tell what she does is wrong. May be your mother has to choose whether you or the younger guy in her life. Always ask guidence from God, He takes care of everything and everyone.
God bless you.
2006-10-27 13:32:58 · answer #9 · answered by DIm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for u sweetheart but adults don't always make the best choices. What u are going through is normal.I will say this though.You need to stop letting what your mother is doing affect you so much.The reason is because she is still going to do it and the only one that is going to suffer is you. You need to think about yourself and go on with your school,friends,and having fun.Let the adults stay in their mess and you stay free of it and just try to enjoy your life hon.You deserve it....Good luck
2006-10-27 13:33:04 · answer #10 · answered by sweet_thing_kay04 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋