So, I think you'll need a bit of background in order to answer this one...
My daughter was born when I was 16. For the first few years of her life, we lived with my parents. I met my husband when my daughter was about 6 months old, and he has been the only Dad she ever knew. She & I moved out of my parents' home shortly before she started kindergarten, and began living as a family with my husband then...We got married when she was seven.
Now, she's getting married. And she says that in her mind, she always saw MY father giving her away.
What do you think about a woman being given away by her grandfather? In particular, when her Dad is sitting in the audience?
Any thoughts on how they might do the job jointly?
Any reasonable suggestions are welcome.
Thanks all!
2006-10-27 11:48:47 · 22 answers · asked by abfabmom1 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Okay, so just to make it totally clear...
I have no problem with this...I am very happy to see it happen...I love my Dad, and I love my daughter, and I will love watchting them walk down the aisle together.
Please, don't think that I'm trying to avoid this, in any way.
I'm just looking for your input on what you would think if you went to a wedding where that happened, and any feedback you might offer on how to avoid hurting my husband's feelings.
FYI, my daughter and my husband are very, very close to each other...She is very much Daddy's girl, and he is totally wrapped around her little finger.
2006-10-27 12:25:26 · update #1
Oh, my word, AirDevil, you certainly read a whole bunch of stuff into this question that wasn't there!
Why on earth would I boycott my daughter's wedding? I don't think you DO understand how I feel, or else you wouldn't have written what you did. I am THRILLED that my daughter wants my father to be such a special part of her special day.
2006-10-27 12:27:51 · update #2
One more thing, just to stop anyone else from saying it.
I DO NOT WANT TO STOP THIS.
I WANT THIS TO HAPPEN.
IT IS MY DAUGHTER'S WEDDING AND SHE CAN HAVE IT ANY WAY SHE WANTS.
Okay, I hope you all get that...Please, stop with the whole "it's her day she can have what she wants" crap, because I'm already there.
2006-10-27 12:29:51 · update #3
And, btw, who gave me a thumbs down on this question? All I'm trying to do is make the perfect day for my daughter, and you all read what you want to read, instead of what I WROTE!
Please, people, read the question!
2006-10-27 12:32:16 · update #4
A woman being given away by a man she has looked up to and loved her whole life is a beautiful sentiment. As much as she loves her "Dad", she probably viewed her grandfather as a father figure for the first few years of her life before you moved out. If she likes, she could have both walk her down the aisle, one on either side. Truly, however, the only people whose feelings matter on the subject are the two gentlemen involved and the bride. It's obvious she has a loving family who support her very much.
2006-10-28 18:06:14 · answer #1 · answered by A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in a similiar situation right now and I'm the bride! I've always known my father, but my parents got divorced when I was three. He was the type of Dad who said he would be around but never really was. That is until my mom remarried! My step dad was at everything 6th grade graduation to high school graduation and all my games and plays... the things my real dad never thought to be at. Both of these men are my father so each will get an arm in my wedding, the only thing better then a dad walking you down the aisle is two dads! See how she feels about this, and to be honest I think you should step back and let her and her father talk about this. Good luck and congrats!
2006-10-27 19:07:53 · answer #2 · answered by Tamra 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that by having both of them walk her down the aisle it would prevent hard feelings on the part of your husband. Maybe you should sit your daughter down and ask her why she feels the way she does and then tell her your idea and she what she says. My daughter is 16 and my husband has been in her life since she was 10 months old but her father has always been a part of her life and she says that when she gets married that she'll have both of them walk her down the aisle, so believe me it just may work.
2006-10-27 19:05:55 · answer #3 · answered by juicie813 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she's a lucky girl to have two male role models in her life that she's so close to! I think it's absolutely ok for both to walk her down the aisle. I went 5 weddings this year and all 5 had both mom and dad walking the bride down the aisle, so why not dad and grandpa, one on each side.
(I think the trickier situation would be the father-daughter dance, but I've been to weddings where they skip that part altogether)
Good luck!
2006-10-27 20:17:33 · answer #4 · answered by raquel122203 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if your husband and father, and family and friends to a degree, understand the situation than I don't think there's an issue. If there is, pull out the "it's her day" rejoiner.
Maybe her father could take her part of the way and the her grandfather take her the rest of the way to the alter? Or maybe both could walk with her?
2006-10-28 04:56:36 · answer #5 · answered by arcanehex 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's nice for a grandfather to give her away. As long as your husband acts gracious about it, like it's fine with him if that's what she wants and he's happy for her and loves her no matter what, then I don't think anybody would think anything was odd. I think it's more important that on her wedding day, she gets who she wants to walk her down the aisle. It's such a little thing, really.
2006-10-27 18:52:41 · answer #6 · answered by bibliophile31 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Grandfather and her dad can both walk her down if she wants. She can have one walk her half way down, then switch or do it at the same time. Can bring it up and see how she feels about it. I don't see nothing wrong with having two men who love and support her as much as she does them. This has nothing to do with favoring or not greatful what her dad has done to help raise her. I am assuming as you seem to be a loving parent who supports her no matter what, that she grew up with the same way of feeling.
These people have major issue's to jump down your throat for nothing. You just asked a simple question that had nothing to do with what they said.
2006-10-28 00:48:05 · answer #7 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing that you have to remember is that this is her wedding and if she wants her grandfather then so be it.
By the same token, my wife had her brother walk her most of the way down the aisle and her father walked her to the altar.
Either way, it is and should be her decision. You mentioned that her father will be there, but who do you mean? If you are referring to her birth father, then she must not feel that close to him. If you are referring to your husband, she does not see him as the right person to walk her down the aisle.
Take care,
Troy
2006-10-27 18:57:28 · answer #8 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you think that your husband will be hurt by this, I would take my daughter out to lunch, sit her down and tell her. Why not have your Dad walk her half-way and then hand her to your husband? Or have your Dad walk her down the aisle, but have the father-daughter dance with your husband. I think if your daughter sat down with her Dad and explained why she wants Grampy to walk her down, he would understand. I just don't understand if she is so close to her Dad why she wouldn't want him to walk her down.
2006-10-27 22:12:53 · answer #9 · answered by Melissa R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it sounds a little bit mean to your husband, but I don't know the relationship she has with him. I think people are going to wonder about that. Your own father might feel uncomfortable about stepping into "Dad's" place. You all 4 should sit down and talk it over.
2006-10-27 18:53:12 · answer #10 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋