day i gave birth to our boy he had a 4ncall on way hme. it was her,she was cryin upset that he had had a baby with anotha woman. so,hes a soft guy real nice bt that nte,me still in hospital,he went and pikt her up in my car ,twk her bak 2 hers and went in 4 chat. i found this out 2 wks later which was my 1st muthas day. it killed me. i dnt think he wd cheat bt who knows. ive spoken 2 her bt she says nuthin went on,she says they have a gwd friendship and thats that. i start arguements because i cnt 4get it all. its horrible. hes an awesome dad and partner bt just cnt 4get. i fl crazy at times,lwk thro his 4n 2. am i mad or makin myself mad. when im in gwd mwd we get on great bt then i start thinkin how cwd he do that to me. wot can i do?????
2006-10-27 11:08:06 · 14 answers · asked by Michelle W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow, i almost needed a translator to be able to read all that... lol! Anyways, i totally understand you! It would make me nuts as well! Have you told him how you feel about everything? Coz if he really loves you, he would respect your feelings and don't meet up with her alone!And don't have phone calls like that with her! He really should respect you more!
2006-10-27 11:17:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I am so sorry. I think that is so disrepectful to you and your son, on his part and hers. Especially hers. Sounds like she has no morals. People shoudn't be friends with their exes because there will always be that familiarity thing and that makes cheating so much easier. Plus it's no commitment on either of their parts. Does he stay out late or get weird phone calls? Let him know that this bothers you and it's disrespectful. Ask him how would he fill if you were still talking to one of your exes. If you went back to someone's place, I'm pretty sure he would be thinking the same thing. They can tell you nothing is going on but your not there with them. And as for him picking her up in your car.........oh, hell no. Your good, because I would have snapped. Besides, you don't have to go back to someone's apartment to chat. They could have chatted on the phone when she called. Apartment was for something else and I don't think they were doing much chatting. If he still wants to be around her that much, let him go. You gave him his first born son and to an ex-girlfriend that's the worst thing. Honey, you've won so much more than you think. You have a new man in your life now. Raise him well. It sounds like he'll still be there as a good dad which is what's most important. Good luck!!!!!!
2006-10-27 11:37:31 · answer #2 · answered by Italionaire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Michelle, love, it is really hard work to read a question that is written in text speak. Please type in English in future. You are right. He is not with her anymore, he is with you and he is the father of your baby. His ex will just have to accept that. Please point out to him that he is not doing her any favours by continuing to encourage her to depend on him and have feelings for him. The kindest thing he can do for his ex would be to just stop having any contact with her. That would allow her to move on with her life, get some closure and find a new love of her own.
When I got divorced, I thought it would be nice to stay friends with my ex and for a while it worked. It would only have been possible if his new partner (and later, when I met him, my new partner) had been happy with it. She was happy, possibly because she knew I didn't want her man, but my man was jealous and couldn't cope. This alone would have meant we'd have had to break off contact, but I found out my ex had been conning me over money and I ended up having to instruct a solicitor. I know how you feel because I would not like my man to stay in touch with his ex, and in fact I have told him that I don't want him to have any contact with her whatsoever, other than as necessary regarding their son, who is nearly grown up now anyway.
Good luck Michelle, and remember new mothers often have a lot of hormones doing the tango in their systems, so no doubt that makes you feel even more sensitive and vulnerable. He has to concentrate on looking after you and your baby now. Ex-girlfriends just have to be history.
PS: Zach obviously doesn't care much for his "gf" and she should do exactly as he suggests and find a new "bf"!
2006-10-27 11:21:40 · answer #3 · answered by Specsy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are right to be mad,but men in general just do not get it,it is probably innocent but that is not the point is it? The point is he put her first before you! talk to him and tell him to keep contact with her to the minimum,she obviously still cares for him him so be sweet,sexy and calm and use all weapons to make him want to stay with you,if you scream and swears and accuse him all the time,you may drive him away,be the girl he fell in love with.have time with him,it will be tough with a new baby but try to have time alone together.
2006-10-27 11:25:12 · answer #4 · answered by cheyenne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There ought to the two be 2 motives he's doing this. a million. He nevertheless likes you and needs you to correctly known/desires to pay attention your voice. or 2. he's in basic terms basic creepy and desires to scare you? i think of any further you need to in basic terms no longer even answer those inner maximum telephone calls.
2016-10-03 00:57:41 · answer #5 · answered by fritch 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
getting mad or starting and argument will not resovle this problem there are better ways to do this.He is a soft and simple guy in heart. people like that find it hard to stamp their feet on the ground and say my no means no.His ex knows this and she uses it to her advantage.Discuss with him and let him know he got a family now and he should stand by his family and let the past(his ex) go and build his future with you if he really loves u and the baby.same applies to his ex. she should move on and let him grow his family.
2006-10-27 11:31:43 · answer #6 · answered by micwillis22 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to let go. your playing straight into the ex's hands. thats if she wants him back, she wants to cause tension and its working. be the bigger woman here, your bf does have some responsibility tho, she clearly wants more than friendship and it obviously makes you uncomfortable. unless he has kids with her he should cool it with her so she gets the message that hes with you and your a family now and she has no hope. dont let this woman break you up. she knows what shes doing. women arn't stupid are we?! dont let her win, forgive him and let this go sweetie or you will lose him.
2006-10-27 11:16:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow girl,chillax,really dont forget that he is with YOU.You are only driving yourself and himself crazy may even drive him away.I'm still in touch with my ex he even stays with me when has a row with his girlf and nothing happens,she hates me! At the same time if you calmly and casually let him know you dont mind contact but not that extreme he should respect that and consider your feelings!
2006-10-27 11:14:10 · answer #8 · answered by sinead m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if they had children together then you're kinda stuck with the situation as he needs to maintain contact with the kids (i speak from 6 years experience - grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!) if they don't have kids together then i don't get the friendship thing - maybe i'm oldfashioned but there it is. good luck hunny ..... enjoy what you have with the man and your baby together xxxx
2006-10-27 11:14:49 · answer #9 · answered by mousie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how their friendship is right now. If he talks to her every day or does things he needs to be doing with you then he hasn't moved on from her completely. Give him his space.
2006-10-27 11:12:50 · answer #10 · answered by gentlgodis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋