Is wrong to feel a little wierd about a boyfriend sharing basement with woman?

Question

There rooms are across from each other and they share bathrooms. I'm not talking about trust. I'm talking about principle and what is okay.

They are in two separate rooms. He was living there first and she first moved upstairs in one of the rooms and now has moved in one of the downstairs rooms.

Answer 1

My take is that you are a very confident girl and you trust him...but should you trust human nature in this type of setting? I don't think it's wrong to have opposite sex roomates. The question is how much he values your opinion and your feelings, and how far he'll go to respect you. If he's willing to make any changes in the situation to make you happy, then your trust level can go up. Still be cautious. Check their chemestry level to see if there's danger. But don't appear jealous or throw any tantrums. Make him feel like any decisions he makes weren't forced on him, but he wanted them. He should feel free to make any decisions he wants in his life, completely aware that you just won't stay with a guy that doesn't value you as the amazing woman you are. In a few words and in a very cute way...no dramas, no tantrums, you just won't take any garbage, period. You are worth too much to be with someone who won't consider your feelings, and you just don't have time to agonize over a dangerous roomate. If he does everything possible to get out of that situation or to make you feel good and safe about it, then he's a keeper.

Answer 2

OK, I understand that you deeply care for your boyfriend but can I please straight talk with you here without you blowing up? Everyone has been a teenager before so we all understand but in all honesty you are way too young to be in this type of relationship, Be a teenager as long as you can. This is not healthy no matter what anyone says & when people say you will understand one day what they mean, it's because it is true. So I'm just going to be real & not sugar coat it for you. You are a kid, your boyfriend is a kid, what you are feeling right now is not exactly love. It is puppy love. You have hormones that are making you feel this way & you are a teenager & most teenagers intensify situations more than they need to be. That is why people call teenage girls "Drama Queens" or they poke fun at girls who are in love with the Jonas Brothers. You are 14 yrs old, if you live an average life of 75yrs old that means you have 66yrs left of life, do you think that in the next 66yrs you will change as a person at all, or mature in different ways, or know things that you do not know or understand yet? Chances are sweetie that you will not be with this person for the rest of your life. You have just begun high school, you are not even anywhere near being an adult yet. You do not really feel the same way about his mother as you do your own, this is all some concoction you have made up in your head & blown up with your emotions. Do you seriously think that if both his mom & your mom (the woman who has cared for you before birth) were falling off a cliff & you could only save one, you would ever consider for a second saving his mom over yours? You have known each other for three months. Some mothers don't even bond with their own children that fast & that is their flesh & blood. I think it is very irresponsible of your parents to be letting you get into a relationship like this at such a young age. Update: & how long have you known Tina? Whether or not your own mom sucks is still besides the point, I'm sorry to have to put it so bluntly but Tina doesn't feel like you are her daughter, even if she tells you some kinda crock like that. She in no way feels the same way about you as she does her son. You just said you were adopted so your "mom" isn't really your flesh & blood. Do you think Tina feels like you are one of her own when she hasn't known you very long & you are not her biological child like her son ( I assume) is? You actually seem like a fairly intelligent girl, please look over everything I have said & actually think about it & ask yourself if it is possible that I may be right.

Answer 3

Trust is the issue, otherwise you wouldn't be asking the question. I had male roomates and I did not want to have sex with them. If a guy wants to cheat, he will find a way. It's up to you decide whether or not you trust him. I don't see any problems with opposite sex roomates, as long as the male doesn't force himself upon his female roomate. If he does, she should report him to the police. That's what I did, and the police kicked him out and put a restraining order on him so he can no longer sexually assault college women who are living there. That won't stop him from raping somewhere else.

Answer 4

One time, my boyfriend was looking for aplace so we looked at one where this girl wanted to share a two bedroom... i thought i could get over it, but when we looked at the place, even though she was nice, you know girls how you just walk around sometimes in comfortable clothing (ie short shorts and tanks or something), or even if you forget your towel when you are in the shower).. yeah id idnt want my boyfriend ANY part of that... and if you just talk to him, im sure that he will understand.. would he want u living with a guy? i guess if you trust him, then everything is fine, but do you trust HER?

Answer 5

You need to explain the situation further, such as why are they both living in the basement in the first place. And who was their first. Did he intentionally move into the basement with her or what? I know people that have opposite sex roommates and there is nothing wrong with that.

Answer 6

There is nothing wrong with the principle side if the trust is there

Answer 7

If it's not about trust then what's the principle?

Answer 8

It is a little weird and could mean trouble but not necessarily...
He may be stuck in a situation that was none of his doing...

Answer 9

id b nervous too but if u dont trust him dump him or talk to him (though he'll probably deny anythin)

Answer 10

I assume you knew this before you started dating him