A tribal warrior was walking thru the jungle with his wife, when he got the urge to give her a portion, he said to her “ I wanna take you now”.
“not here” she replied, “the grass is to long, I may be bitten by a snake or something, find a clearing and you can have as much as you like”.
He leads her thru the jungle and comes to a clearing, it’s about a 100 metres wide, but runs for miles in each direction. In the middle is a train track.
He takes her over to the track, bends her over (doggy style) and starts giving her a good rumpin.
In the distance he hears a train whistle “PEEP PEEP”, so he starts pumping a bit faster.
He looks round and see’s the train approaching down the tracks, so he pumps even faster.
The driver is looking out of the window and see’s an obstruction on the line, and blows his whistle again “peep peep”, but it doesn’t move, so he applies the breaks, and stops the train.
(more to follow, scroll down)
2006-10-27 10:21:26 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
He jumps down, and walks round the front of the engine, and see’s the warrior and his wife banging away.
“Oi” he shouts, “get of the track”.
He gets no reply, so he walks over and asks “why didn’t you get off the track?”
The warrior reply’s “there’s 3 reasons, 1st reason – she’s coming, 2nd reason –I’m coming, 3rd reason – your coming, n you the only one with breaks”.
Lmao
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sith
2006-10-27 10:21:51 · update #1
ho. ho. ho
2006-10-27 10:23:38 · answer #1 · answered by sarahstar111 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He like you, you just need to see it, Maybe he is just trying to make you jealous with the other girl, He just doesn`t know how to get you attention anymore, I´m guessing he is kind of shy to tell you straight forward that he likes you, but all the obvious sings point to a "YES, he is interested on you" , and you shouldn´t wait for him to tell you, you should do something as well, I mean after all he has been your friend for 2 years, who knows maybe he is the love of your life, and about the "Us" part I still think he is just trying to make you jealous, talk to him, ask him, if he likes you, and answer yourself if you like him as more than a friend?, don´t act childish both of you, be a big girl and make the first move :) he likes you !!!
2016-05-22 01:33:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Isn't a train track a little modern for a warrior story? Just my thought on the whole thing.
2006-10-27 10:24:27 · answer #3 · answered by ... 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what begens with f and ends in uck
firetruck
One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit.
He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts.
Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"
Job Descriptions
1. A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
2. An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didnt happen today.
3. A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
4. An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.
5. A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didnt know you had in a way you dont understand.
6. A mathematician is like a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isnt there.
7. A topologist is a someone who doesnt know the difference between a coffee cup and doughnut.
8. A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief."
9. A psychologist is someone who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
10. A professor is one who talks in someone elses sleep.
11. A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.
12. A committee is a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
Murphys Sex Laws
1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
2. Nothing improves with age.
3. No matter how many times you’ve had it, if it’s offered take it, because it’ll never be quite the same again.
4. Sex has no calories.
5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
7. Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got.
8. No sex with anyone in the same office.
9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
10. A man in the house is worth two in the street.
11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
12. Virginity can be cured.
13. When a man’s wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can’t stand years later.
16. Sex is dirty only if it’s done right.
17. It is always the wrong time of month.
18. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
20. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won’t either.
21. Sow your wild oats on Saturday night — Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
22. The younger the better.
23. The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
24. It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
25. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
27. Before you find your handsome prince, you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs.
28. There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
29. Love your neighbor, but don’t get caught.
30. Love is a hole in the heart.
31. If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.
32. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
33. Do it only with the best.
34. Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
35. One good turn gets most of the blankets.
36. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
37. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
38. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
39. Thou shalt not commit adultery…..unless in the mood.
40. Never lie down with a woman who’s got more troubles than you.
41. Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
42. Never argue with a women when she’s tired — or rested.
43. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn’t.
44. What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
45. It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
46. Never say no.
47. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn’t love her.
48. Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
49. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
50. Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
51. A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
52. Love comes in spurts.
53. The world does not revolve on an axis.
54. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
55. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
56. Don’t do it if you can’t keep it up.
57. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
58. Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
59. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
60. “This won’t hurt, I promise,”
Men are just simply happier people, and here is why...
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President. You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car Mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You dont have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes dont cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all of your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier!
2006-10-27 10:26:23 · answer #4 · answered by lee.sheehan 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Just few minutes back I answered this question with slight variation !!
2006-10-27 10:27:18 · answer #5 · answered by Tickler 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some one just said dat a couple minutes ago
2006-10-27 10:24:53 · answer #6 · answered by Rene C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny one....I liked it. Thank you for the laugh just when I needed it!
2006-10-27 10:26:18 · answer #7 · answered by })i({ J and D's Momma })i({ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The old ones are always the best. (apart from this one)
2006-10-27 10:27:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Worth the read!!!!! hee hee
2006-10-27 10:47:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
so funny I forgot to laugh
2006-10-27 10:23:53 · answer #10 · answered by diva 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha ha
2006-10-27 10:23:45 · answer #11 · answered by Nemo <3 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋