im dating this girl i love. and everything was going really great. her dad wasnt that bad. he wanted me to tell him when i would be back and where i was going and stuff but thats understandable and its not big deal. but lately hes been WAY to protective. i mean he past over protective. i mean he BUGED her cell phone and put a video cam in her room and always calls my mom to see where i am. and it goes on.....im sick of it.i need some air. i feel like i cant make a move without him knowing. how do i get him to stop??how do i get him to understand that im not going to do anything bad with his daughter??
and for the ones thats going to say "let her go" or "find someone esle" im not going to do that i love her too much......
2006-10-27 10:16:40 · 24 answers · asked by countryman 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
tell him he's cramping your style and you want him to stop.
2006-10-27 10:19:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
What a tough situation!
Please try to understand the Dad. He is protecting his daughter. One only needs to look around at society today to see where he is coming from.
You love her? Good for you. It will take some effort, but try to ignore the surveillance (the room-cam IS going a bit far) and the other overwatch and enjoy the relationship with your girlfriend.
If you don't already, plan on spending time with Dad. If he has some project going around the house, give him a hand. The more time you spend with him, the more trust you build with him. And that could quite possibly mean a roll-back of the monitoring. It also would not hurt to visit Dad, alone, and discuss the situation.
Above all else, be patient. And kudos to you for your last sentence in the question...you love her too much to just drop her and go away. Good luck with this!
2006-10-27 17:30:18 · answer #2 · answered by Nuk.Nuk.Nuk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a really nice person because you say that you can understand that the Dad would feel that way about his daughter. Also, the fact that you love your gf and want to stick with her despite this uncomfortable situation with the Dad is to your credit.
I am wondering if you are the girl's first boyfriend and if she is also the first daughter in her family to be dating. These factors might be some reasons that the Dad is over protective, or it could be that there have been some previous negative experiences.
The wisest advice you have received is the suggestion to bring the dad, "onside" by getting to know him, one on one. Yes, spend a little time with him; let him get to know you and the fact that you have good values and are responsible. You might also want to treat him to lunch or coffee where you could have a quiet talk just the two of you. Ask him what are his greatest concerns and what he sees as reasonable guidelines for dating. Good luck to you.
2006-10-27 18:10:32 · answer #3 · answered by Jo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old the two of you are but if your twenty and under then be glad that she has a dad who cares. At least he not telling you to break up with her. Although it seems like it's a little too much, it will pass. I think you should be a man and ask him to sit down and talk. Let him know what your intentions are with his daughter and that you won't hurt her. This will reassure him and may earn you a lot of respect from him. It sounds like he's old-fashioned and she might be his only daughter? Considering the things that go on in this day and age, he does have a right to be concerned. I think if you talk to him then he will ease up. Also, let him know that you respect him and that's why you wanted to talk to him as a man. Good luck!!!!!
2006-10-27 17:28:20 · answer #4 · answered by Italionaire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course "let her go" or something like that is not a solution...that's just running from a problem. So, why has her Dad's behavior changed? Don't forget, it may not have ANYTHING to do with you, but it may have a lot to do with his daughter. Has she been lying to him and now he distrusts everything she does? The way to solve this is to ask her Dad if you could talk to him in private sometime. Tell him you feel like he doesn't trust you when you are with his daughter. Ask him why (and be prepared to hear him out even if you don't like it.....LISTEN TO HIM, then ask what you can do to help him trust you more. I'll bet things will change for the better.....a lot.
2006-10-27 17:24:02 · answer #5 · answered by Caper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like everyone else is writting, have a talk with him and say what you have written here, also practice before you talk to him. One other thing why not take him out with you both, or spend some time alone with him. With the way people can be, do you blame him for being a little over protective, best of luck to you...
2006-10-27 17:26:03 · answer #6 · answered by Thomas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if her dad is putting cameras in her room and bugging her phone she can probably press charges against him...it sounds illegal. Are the two of you over the age of 18?
The dad is over the top.
Your job is to have a little sit down talk with him and tell him your intensions and ask him what he expects of you. Tell him you are open to his rules as long as they really seem reasonable and most importantly, that his daughters saftey and comfort are of the upmost importance to you.
If you can't please the guy with this, I would think about continuing this relationship when the two of you aren't living under your parents roofs.
2006-10-27 17:25:22 · answer #7 · answered by ItsMe25 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to her about it. I mean make the right moves and her father will get to like you. Get onto his good side. Have a conversation about his hobbies and how they fit into yours. Maybe one day you will learn what you two have in common and you can go on an outing. Not only will he like you, but your girlfriend will like you more for trying to make him like you and getting along with him. Just realize that he loves his daughter so much and he wouldn't know what to do it anythingn happened to her and that is why he is being so hard on you. Once he gets to know you better everything will change. He will soon realize that you are good to his daughter and he wouldn't want her to trade you for the world.
2006-10-27 17:23:19 · answer #8 · answered by hearts101 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should have a talk with him. Be polite and respectful but tell him that you have no intention of taking advantage of his daughter and that you would like him to give you some privacy. Hope things get better!
2006-10-27 17:20:51 · answer #9 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I bet it is hard being a father, to know that your daughter is getting older and that she has a steady boyfriend. I suggest that you have a talk with him. Be as respectful as you would like him to be to you. Let him know that you understand where he is coming from, but that you have no bad intentions toward his daughter and that you will wait. That should let him know that you are responsible.
2006-10-27 17:22:44 · answer #10 · answered by Tlahuizcalpantecuchtli (efrocha) 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmmm...didn't you just write a few hours ago, that you broke up with "some girl" because people were against you 2 being together including her dad??? So I am assuming you are back with her? This is a tough one buddy...can't help you on this...your best bet is to leave her, and you aren't willing to do that...just suck it in and roll with the punches.
2006-10-27 17:23:24 · answer #11 · answered by ShellBellzGee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋