The colors for my wedding are Lavender and Light blue and Silver. But one of my brides maids wants to wear burgundy the dress looks like an evening gown instead of a brides maids dress. She is determine to wear this dress.But I don't know how to tell her that she can't wear that dress and she is my sister-in-law.
2006-10-27 09:45:19 · 56 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well - You can see from all of the answers you've received so far that it's YOUR day and not hers.
Is she your brother's wife or the sister of your groom? Perhaps you can talk to your brother or your fiance' - and let them know that you really want her in the wedding - but that it is your day and she'll have to do what you're asking.
Tell her too - that she CAN wear the burgundy dress to the wedding - but that she won't be able to be part of the wedding party if that's the case - because you really want everyone to match in the pictures and you're trying to have a certain "look and feel" to the day that you've spent your time and energy putting together. And you've dreamed about it since you were a little girl. Tell her that you understand that she wants to wear the dress. Be nice about it. But tell her too - that you have your dream - and this is one dream that you want as close to perfect as possible. AND - that you hope she'll chose to be a part of it in whatever way she thinks is best. DON'T be nasty. It's not worth it. Be cheerful! Give her a choice. She can be in the wedding in your colors or not in the wedding in the burgundy dress. Do it just like you're asking if she wants strawberry ice cream or rocky road. Really!
I don't know how much communication went into telling the girls what they would pay (if anything) and what they would wear - but it's VERY important to convey your needs. If you didn't do it upfront - do it now.
I 've been in 5 weddings now. Each time - the bride picked my dress. One of them was a "ding dong hoop skirt southern belle plantation dress" (I am not making this up) with a parasol and long gloves. It was the ugliest thing EVER - and I paid LOTS of money for it - and never wore it again (but my sister wore it for Halloween one year). One of the other dresses was hand made and the zipper was put in wrong and stuck out horribly right at my butt. It was yellow. I look HORRIBLE in yellow! Once the bride was trying to be sweet and save all of her bridesmaids money - and we all wore these hand made polyester dresses with a bunch of cheap ribbons hanging off of them. One of the brides a few years ago put us all in black waisted poofy, chiffon dresses - and on our heads we wore these HUGE bows - like you would find on top of a present. AND - she had us all do a dance number at the reception! And once - I was the only one in the wedding - the lone Maid of Honor - and I STILL let the bride pick out my dress. She picked out something beautiful - and it was great. But the point is this.... I NEVER SAID A WORD TO ANY OF THOSE BRIDES. I BOUGHT THE UGLY DRESSES AND PUT THEM ON - ALONG WITH THE UNCOMFORTABLE BUTT-UGLY DYED-TO-MATCH SHOES - AND I SMILED. WHY? BECAUSE IT WAS NOT MY WEDDING!! I've never been a bride and I never will be a bride. For me - I don't believe in marriage. But - I DO believe that a wedding day belongs to the bride and the groom and it is everybody else's job to support and honor them!!
Good luck!
2006-10-27 10:39:53 · answer #1 · answered by liddabet 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have to make some decisions here.
Will everyone but your s-i-l be wearing the same dress? Is your S-i-l's dress really ugly or just not what you would pick? Is it worth a family rift so you can have a "perfect day"? Is your wedding about celebrating with you or jumping through hoops for you? Can other family members talk with her (m-i-l)? If you have been married for 30 years, will it matter what color she wore to the wedding? What is the difference between looking like a bridesmaid and wearing an evening gown anyway? Are you asking her to spend too much money? Will she get her hair or jewlery or shoes the way you want? Why is she in this wedding anyway (your side or your finaces)?
2006-10-27 11:04:50 · answer #2 · answered by dani_kin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the bride. In a nice way, tell her that all the bridesmaids are wearing the same dress. Being a bridesmaid is an honor and requires some obligation, primarily to the bride! If she won't wear the dress, she doesn't have to be in the wedding party. The choice of the dress is yours, not hers. Be tactful. It sounds like there is some other issue behind this. Best wishes, dear.
2006-10-27 10:09:20 · answer #3 · answered by Isabella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have to tell her that since it's your wedding she will have to wear the dress you give her. If she still refuses, you should tell that that the last thing you need is more stress. You're looking for someone that can be helpful and think of what the bride wants. Even though she is your sister-in-law, there's no reason why you have to argue with her about the dress. Save yourself the drama and replace her with one of your other friends.
2006-10-27 13:50:12 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you're sorry but her dress doesn't coordinate with your color scheme so she can't wear it. Simple as that. Have your fiance talk to his sister if she continues to give you a hard time. Bridesmaids normally all wear the same dress or coordinated separates. They don't normally pull something out of the closet and say I'm going to wear this in your wedding. So that's another point in your favor that you can bring up. Good luck.
2006-10-27 10:32:08 · answer #5 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her she doesn't HAVE to be in your wedding. It's not her wedding. What would she say if one of her bridesmaids said "I'm not wearing that. I wanna wear this."? I went to a wedding where the bride coordinated her wedding colors to match her sister's prom dress so her sister could wear it in the wedding. I would just say this is what I want. It's my day. If you don't like it, you can lump it.
2006-10-27 10:09:41 · answer #6 · answered by viva_bamm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she realize it isn't her wedding? I'd tell her it is your day and you are picking the dresses and the colors. If she doesn't like it and has her heart set on the burgundy evening gown then maybe she should be a personal attendant instead and you find another bridesmaid to take her place. I think she is being very selfish.
2006-10-27 09:49:28 · answer #7 · answered by MILAYA 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell her you have decided to not have brides maids at all. Then the other of your friends can wear the dress you have picked out & look like brides maides.
2006-10-27 11:27:59 · answer #8 · answered by Erolynne T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're donning a crimson wedding ceremony gown at your sister's wedding ceremony? Wow.....and 3 seperate professionals all stated as in ill, on the comparable day? What are the opportunities of THAT, Huh? properly, while you're donning a crimson wedding ceremony gown on your sisters wedding ceremony, and that i assume she is donning a white one, at her wedding ceremony, then i'm uncertain what colorations the bridesmaids ought to placed on, via fact that there seems to be some confusion as to whose wedding ceremony we are all attending right here. i might propose candy Cane striped attire so as that they compliment you the two........crimson AND White.........in basic terms in case.
2016-10-03 00:52:58 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have to address that as a bridesmaid, she wears the bridesmaid dresses as the other girls are going to wear. Its the colors you love (as my mom had lavender, beautiful color) and want in your wedding.
If she refuses or wears the dress anyways, I would politely ask her to sit down and not be in the wedding.
2006-10-27 18:11:50 · answer #10 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋