My boyfriend asked me to marry him, but I think that I'm not ready, I love him of course I do, but I don't want to get married yet I don't like the way he made me feel when he asked, it was like he wanted a answer right away, and it scared me. I love him and I don't want to hurt him by saying no, and I don't want to get married yet! I need your help, what to do?
2006-10-27 09:04:10 · 17 answers · asked by sweet heart 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
The best thing you can do - for both of you - is be honest with him. If you're not ready to get married, please don't get married. My ex-husband told me (when we filed for divorce a year later) that he only asked me to marry him because he thought that's what I wanted. Nothing hurts like hearing something like that. Just explain that you need more time and you don't want to make a decision that you'll both regret and that you need more time to get to know him and yourself.
2006-10-27 09:14:04 · answer #1 · answered by reandsmom77 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darling... of course he wanted an answer right away... If you asked such a thing, wouldn't YOU? Perhaps he's not as good at reading other people as you give him credit to. I'm sure when he asked he was fairly certain that you are on the same page with him, and will say yes.
However, there's nothing at all wrong with saying "no", if this is how you truly feel. Unfortunately, there isn't a way to say "no" that would not hurt the other person; but you do need to be honest, and explain to him how you feel. Tell him exactly what you told us; that you love him, but are not ready for marriage yet.
2006-10-27 16:19:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest. If he loves you like thinks he does, he'll wait until you're ready. There are also couples who get engaged and don't get married until years later. I'm not saying say yes, but that's just an observation I have witnessed several times. Just speak from your heart. If he tried to pressure you, he's obsessed with you, or he has an ulterior motive. Good luck and remember your heart knows what you want. Listen to your heart.
2006-10-27 17:34:17 · answer #3 · answered by viva_bamm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you not ready don't go for it...This will only cause you to blame him for your mistake. Tell him that you love him but are not ready to make that kind of relationship at this time.. Tell him that the option is still open your just not ready to commit at this time...Remember 1 out of 2 marriages end in divorce don't be a statistic.
2006-10-27 16:12:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try this: if you say that you truely love him and he truely loves you back...talk it over with him so you can get this thing off your chest...o and if it seemed like he was a little to pushy about you giving him an answer right away...that sounds a little weird...I know that it would be great to get married...but you don't want to be pressured into something that makes you think twice...so just tell him everything I wrote you and you WILL be fine...
hope my answer helps,
bye
2006-10-27 16:15:53 · answer #5 · answered by @$4!33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with him, and soon. The longer you wait, the harder it's going to be. Tell him that you love him and you do want to be with him, but you're just not ready to take that step yet. Make sure he knows that you are committed to the relationship, but that you're just not ready for marriage. If he truly loves you, he'll understand and respect your feelings.
2006-10-27 16:45:06 · answer #6 · answered by brainy_blonde 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is easier to say not right now then to go through with it and then find out that it was the wrong thing to do. If you don't' want to hurt his feelings, then tell him the truth, it will hurt a lot less than going through the marriage and then divorcing later. Tell him the truth, honesty is the best policy in this situation.
2006-10-27 16:12:01 · answer #7 · answered by NolaDawn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are ready for this marriage, I'm not saying you don't love him, only you know that, reassure him only the way you know how and let him feel that you love him. If he keeps on insisting then just tell him the truth, Marriage is based on truth and if he really loves you he will understand you.
2006-10-27 16:40:46 · answer #8 · answered by Taz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to be honest with him. It would have to be pretty scary asking someone to marry you so you cant blame him for wanting your answer right away. The only fair thing to do is be honest and tell him you want to wait and the reasons why and hopefully he loves and respects you enough to do so.
2006-10-27 16:14:01 · answer #9 · answered by jules 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him but don't want to marry just yet, then perhaps accept the proposal but with a stipulation that it be a long engagement. Let him know you don't want to rush into anything but you love him and know that he is the one that you want to marry.
2006-10-27 16:32:07 · answer #10 · answered by PT&L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋